Social Skills

La Cosa Nostra: The 10 Laws of the Sicilian Mafia (and how they apply to you)

La Cosa Nostra’s foundation is built upon a law code of honor.

What’s up guys?

Hope you’re all doing well.

I have previously written about the importance of establishing your own law code.

Today, I just wanted to briefly show you the code that governs one of the most idolized organizations in the world.

The Mafia… often referred to as La Cosa Nostra or “this thing of ours.”

Pop culture is obsessed with the Mafia. Some of the most popular films and television shows of all time focus on the mob.

The money. The power. The respect.

It’s all glorified and ingrained into our culture. Many people only know what is depicted in films and television shows.

Here is a glimpse into reality: La Cosa Nostra is governed by 10 laws or “commandments.”

All members must abide by them.

Membership shows that you are exclusive… a man of honor who will remain loyal to the family.

Failure to abide by these commandments is a sign of dishonor and breakage of that loyalty.

We are obviously not members, but these laws are still worthy of being studied. Do they apply to us? Let’s see.

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

This ties in nicely with overall social skills.

You must know how to conduct yourself.

More importantly, you must realize the importance of becoming a man of many friends aka becoming multidimensional.

That’s the easiest way to associate with powerful people.

It’s also the easiest way to date the highest quality girls (in most social environments). *** Not cold approach pick-up

Men and women… The most concrete way to establish a valuable connection is if you have a third party greasing the wheels.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

This is an easy one. It means be loyal.

Close friends can often be considered brothers in many instances.

Your friends’ girls are off limits.

They could be throwing themselves at you.

They could tempt you with the fact that no one will ever know. It does not matter.

Get those thoughts out of your head.

And if you do decide to betray your friend… you deserve whatever revenge he has planned for you.

*** To be honest, by default, you should pass on taken chicks… unless it’s Vegas or you have no idea who the guy is/he is not around. But if you know the guy or have met him, you should not go for his girl. It just isn’t right. It’s not the honorable thing to do.

3. Never be seen with cops.

No one likes a snitch.

People get turned off by even the remote possibility of someone being a snitch.

This doesn’t apply to just cops.

This applies to any form of authority… especially in the workplace.

Employees are always wary of that one goody-to shoes who they know will report any slander against the boss.

These people are usually uptight and friendless. Don’t be that person.

4. Don’t go to pubs and clubs.

Don’t take this law literally.

Obviously, when you are young, you definitely want to go out and have some fun.

That’s what college is for.

Just don’t dedicate your life to it like so many PUA’s have.

You need a higher purpose in life.

Eventually, you will need everything you got to drive toward it.

You will need all of your focus.

There will not be time to party it up like you did in high school and college.

That’s why it’s important to experience your wild days during your high school and college years (and a few years after).

You don’t want to still be chasing the player lifestyle into your thirties while also trying to follow your path.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty – even if your wife’s about to give birth.

This doesn’t really apply. It sort of relates to number 6.

Family always comes first though… remember that.

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.

When you say you are going to do something you do it.

When you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, you show up at that time.

Again, this relates to your word.

A man’s word is everything.

Breaking your word and breaking appointments (without prior notice) is a sign of weakness.

To be honest those are traits usually associated with women.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

Don’t get suckered into the whole PUA mindset of “I’m gonna be a big bad alpha male by playing mind games with women.”

It will get you nowhere.

High quality women don’t fall for the games.

They screen out the little boys and search for grown men that know how to conduct themselves.

Little boys don’t get to play with grown man toys.

Become the total package. Get women to fall in love with you.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

“I never lie because I don’t fear anyone. You only lie when you are afraid.”- John Gotti

When someone asks you something, tell them the truth.

People say that “the truth shall set you free.”

What they really mean is that the truth will boost your confidence.

It boosts your confidence because that fear of hiding the truth is off your chest.

On the other hand, if they don’t ask… you don’t have to tell.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

Keep it simple. Worry about your own finances.

10. People who can’t be part of La Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn’t hold to moral values.

Tell me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.

You can know everything about someone just by looking at who they associate with.

That’s how the world functions.

No one has the time to figure out an individual’s life story.

They operate in CliffsNotes mode.

Your associates are a measuring stick for the cool guys on whether or not to let you roll with their crew.

Your associates are a measuring stick for high quality girls on whether or not you are date worthy.

The people you associate with can make or break you… so be smart.


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  1. September 2, 2014 at 8:55 am — Reply

    I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am now not positive whether this publish is written by
    means of him as nobody else understand such targeted approximately my problem.

    You are amazing! Thanks!

  2. Alex
    September 2, 2014 at 3:41 pm — Reply

    I enjoy your articles and insight but I notice you are always knocking PUA industry and PUA’s. I know your a natural but not everyone had the luxury of developing the social skills growing up to become a good natural and have to play catch up in their 20’s and learn the things a lot of guys had been learning since they were 13. I grew up with BDD and sought therapy for it and was to shy around women growing up because of it. Since getting into cold approach pick up I’ve gone from having difficulty holding a solid conversation with a girl to pulling a girl for sex monthly with an increase in quality, my ability to develop social circles and become a more prominent member of old social circles has improved. You seem to focus a lot more on inner game and lifestyle development which is very important but I feel developing outer game through mass approaching and gaining reference experience till all the little social ques women give become unconscious is just as important.

    • September 3, 2014 at 3:57 am — Reply

      I knock the PUA industry because they are frauds and do a lot of damage… Close friends have ruined their lives because of it.

      They prey on the weak minded/socially inexperienced who lacked role models growing up.

      As far as the kids who get into it… I believe there is certainly some good to it and I know it helps a lot of guys.

      But I also see kids becoming fanboys… kids who are so blinded by the cult-like aspect… they become lost even more.

      Don’t worry, I will do a big write up on the good, bad, and ugly of the pua industry.

      Also cold approaching is really only useful after college… during the school years it’s mostly social circle.

      • Anonymous
        September 3, 2014 at 9:46 am — Reply

        Great post Sonny. Look, if you don’t want to read about PUA then just avoid this site period. I hope Sonny never does a write up about which pickup lines are the best to use for “cold approach.”

        #1 is super important in certain environments. You can’t cold approach as a freshman in the middle of a semester in on of your classes, it just looks stupid. You’re either part of a crew or you’re not.

        • September 4, 2014 at 2:24 am — Reply

          yea good points.

        • Alex
          September 5, 2014 at 2:22 am — Reply

          I enjoy this site a lot and implement things I learn from it into how I live. I’ve also learned a fair amount from some pick-up sites as well, I also hope Sonny never writes an article over the best pick-up line, as there is no such thing as one, it’s all about vibe, environment, and the situation. I would like to see Sonny’s article on the pick-up industry though.

          • September 5, 2014 at 3:48 am

            Yea there will be some good stuff on it.

            BTW the best pick-up line is: “I thought you were cute and wanted to say hello”… something along those lines.

  3. XAvi
    September 2, 2014 at 3:45 pm — Reply

    Sonny you’re a fucking monster! How do you make these great articles AND have a full time job AND go to the gym AND do your thang? Do you use to do lists? You seem like a very productive person.

    • September 3, 2014 at 3:51 am — Reply

      Yea I use to do lists… I’m also very driven.

      The same guy that built that physique is the same guy bulldozing this site forward.

  4. KingLeo187
    September 2, 2014 at 9:34 pm — Reply

    Rule 2 is a true test of friendship, haven’t seen many modern day guys pass this

    • September 3, 2014 at 3:46 am — Reply

      True. Given the opportunity with the safety net of not being caught, most people would be shocked at how quickly their friends would betray them.

      • milkyo
        June 4, 2016 at 4:35 am — Reply

        That’s because there is no loyalty. Friendships are just temporary alliances. The longer a group of people stay friends, sooner or later they will backstab each other.

        • June 5, 2016 at 6:50 pm — Reply

          You sound angry. What happened? They didn’t have your favorite soy milk at Whole Foods?

          • milkyo
            June 5, 2016 at 11:31 pm

            I just know that many “journalists” end up giving bad advice for others and some follow it.

            Life isn’t a movie and no one should be proud of the mafia for their dirty enterprise.

  5. Kama
    September 2, 2014 at 11:42 pm — Reply

    If mafias only stuck to those honor codes, they’d be great people, unfortunately they also follow dishonorable paths. It’s the proof that you have something to learn from almost* everyone, even those who seem to be the least recommendable.

    * Some people are real dumbasses though, no matter how “respectable” they are in society.

    • September 3, 2014 at 3:45 am — Reply

      Yes. You never know who will teach you something big…

    • milkyo
      June 4, 2016 at 4:26 am — Reply

      I know this is a two year old comment but I believe it’s because of the over-glorification of mobster-type movies seen in the media.

      Everyone thinks it classy, dramatic, noir brilliance. In real life it’s a dirty business.

      Murde-for-hire, protection rackets, extortion and intimidating witnesses, trafficking (including drugs, weapons, and sex trade/prostitution), money laundering, embezzlement, etc.

      I absolutely hate how this tries to talk down on authority and reaching out for others for help (e.g. don’t snitch.)

      Sure the government has it’s corruption as well but what if you’re child got kidnapped or someone brutally murdered your loved one? You’re not going to snitch for some contrived code?

      Get real. Quit glorifying organized crime. Life isn’t a movie.

  6. cam..
    September 4, 2014 at 4:55 am — Reply

    just to clarify what you said abut #1.. DO you mean something like.. when a girl/guy puts you on with their friend e.t.c ???

    • September 4, 2014 at 4:32 pm — Reply


  7. October 14, 2014 at 9:25 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    I recently read The Godfather, so I definitely recognized a few of these “laws” from there. Interesting read nevertheless.

    The three key lessons, most relevant to my life right now, from reading that book were:

    1) The importance of friendship, doing favors for people, and becoming a go-to-guy (Don Corleone is the ultimate go-to-guy).
    2) Think accurately, be a wise decision-maker, and take responsibility: “I spent my life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless, but not men.”
    3)”Never side with anyone outside the family”.

    I may write some article on it later. Such a great book.

  8. milkyo
    June 4, 2016 at 4:19 am — Reply

    This is the dumbest article I’ve read. Most of the mob plays a part in trafficking and racketeering. They also don’t follow much of the advice listed in this piece. This shows once again that social sciences are based on assumptions, and often times gives unreliable advice.

  9. Cheapjack
    November 21, 2016 at 11:42 pm — Reply

    Don’t think Jak Crakajak Tempest can read.

  10. Joe
    January 14, 2017 at 4:53 pm — Reply

    From one sicilian to another so true so true.

    • January 14, 2017 at 8:20 pm — Reply


  11. Obiukwu chuks celestine
    July 7, 2017 at 12:53 pm — Reply

    Thanks. it was worthwhile

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