The Competitive Spirit

How to Get Your Life on Track by Going Back in Time

Have you ever felt lost in life?

This is not an article where I tell you that if you believe in yourself and work hard, everything will work itself out in the end. This is not an article where I give you all the answers. This is an article where I give you an actual game plan on how to achieve crystal clarity and get your life on track by going back in time.

This is what you will need:

Money (for food/expenses)



3-5 days to yourself


Legal paper

These are the rules:

You must leave your house/apartment.

You must go somewhere secluded and quiet.

Stay in a MOTEL.

You cannot have any exposure to modern day technology (no phone, no computer, no MP3 player, no television).

You cannot have any contact with anyone back home.

You cannot look at a clock.

You must spend time in nature.

 All men have a little voice in their head that will guide them on the right path… you need to eliminate distractions to truly hear it.

The big problem is that the modern word stifles this voice. There is too much going on. Television, video games, the Internet, pornography, social media…. They all add up. That stuff might enhance life (not porn) but it all inhibits the development of natural instinct and self-trust.

You must turn back the clock. That is the only way to truly escape the noise and uncloud your mind. Go as old school as you can.

I have mentioned in the past that men grew up faster in the 70’s and 80’s versus the current generation. The main reason is because they did not have to deal with the distractions of today.

That little voice was easy to listen to back then. They could easily rely on their natural instinct and self-trust to guide them down the right path to becoming a real man.

It’s very difficult to do that in the present. As a result, you must intentionally place yourself under those constraints in order to give yourself the best chance at hearing that voice.


Isolation: You need to cut yourself off from the world.

One of the most common pieces of advice that people give regarding these figuring out my life scenarios is to ask others for advice. This can be helpful in some instances but not now.

Your goal is to get your life on track. You are the only expert on your life because you are the one who has lived it. No one is ever going to quite “get it” the way you do. They have not truly lived those experiences or felt those emotions that you have.

Also, it’s too much. Everyone has a goddamn opinion. One person tells you one thing. Another person tells you the complete opposite.

All this confusion (on top of the distractions of modern technology)… is it really a mystery why your average 30 year old is a man-child?

You need to isolate yourself. You need to cut off all contact with people. That is how you can keep people’s garbage advice from polluting your head and making you even more unsure of yourself.

When you don’t have contact with people that leaves only one voice to listen to… that little voice that wants to guide you in the right direction.


Why must you stay in a motel for 3-5 days?

3-5 days is sufficient time because it gives you time to unplug and function in a more natural state. It gives you ample time to be alone with your thoughts. You can think about your life up until that point. You can hammer yourself with questions and answer them honestly.


Here are some questions about the past you can write down and answer:

 What are some of my happiest memories?

When was I happiest?

What are the biggest mistakes I have made in my life so far?

Why did I make those mistakes?

Who are the people that have always been there for me?

Who are the significant people that have come and gone in my life?

What has caused the most anger for me?


Here are some questions about the present you can write down and answer:

 Why am I here now?

What am I most afraid of?

What do I hate about myself?

What do I love about myself?

What are my weaknesses?

What are my strengths?

What is most important to me?


Here are some questions about the future you can write down and answer:

 How do I turn it around?

What will make me happy?

What do I need to focus on in the future?

What am I chasing?

Do I have what it takes?

What will be my biggest obstacles?

What do I need to do to get it?

Who do I want to become?


The best way to answer these questions is when you place yourself under these conditions of isolation and abstinence from technology. That is when your mind will be most clear.

As far as the whole motel thing, motels are an interesting place. They are usually a dark place. People go to motels to partake in the darkness. Drugs, murders, prostitutes, people down on their luck… You’ll find it all at a motel.

People go to motels when they are all alone or just “passing through.” They are very transient. They are not a long term solution. They are a place people go to either commit a crime or “figure it out.”

They’re very design is a paradox. You have a room all to yourself but your door is right on the side of the road. Anyone can theoretically knock on your door or bust in. So motels have a certain “living life on the edge” feel to them.

By staying at a motel for a few days, you are just passing through. You don’t know where to go in life. You want answers. You are likely to find some by cutting yourself off from the world and staring up at the ceiling and questioning your life at 3 AM.


How can nature help you?

Nature can help you because it provides peace and tranquility. We often take that for granted. We were not meant to function in a world full of traffic lights, car horns, and ugly buildings distorting our view of the beautify sky.

It adds to the already stressful lives we live and magnifies our unhappiness. We are most happy when we let it go and just hang out in nature.

That’s why the motel you stay in should be near the water or somewhere out in the country. During the day you can just walk around and enjoy the beauty of mother Earth.

Try it out. You will feel better. You will feel free. You will think clearer. You will breath deeper.


What happens after you leave?

When you return home, you will feel renewed. You will have a much more positive outlook on life. You will have a newfound determination to better you current situation.

Most importantly, you will be anxious to get started building the future you have envisioned for yourself.

Just make sure to keep those pieces of paper with you… They represent a new beginning and hold the key to your future. Talk to you soon guys.

By the way, the training and dieting have been going okay. Here’s my transformation from April 4 to June 17.

Sonny Arvado April 4 - June 17

Sonny Arvado
April 4 – June 17




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  1. rad
    June 18, 2014 at 6:06 pm — Reply

    This article is a revelation.

    For me personally, I feel that I have anlot of this down. I think I might still write out and answer the questions at home though.

    Few typos here and there and the picture isn’t loading properly.

    Overall excellent post. You are truly a philosopher.

    • June 18, 2014 at 6:47 pm — Reply

      Thanks dude. Yea this post is for the “very lost guys”… the ones that really have no clue about who they are and where they are going. I know there’s a lot of them out there.

      Pic should work fine.

      • rad
        June 18, 2014 at 6:57 pm — Reply

        Says “Displaying photo.jpg.” and nothing shows.

        Your affirmations are fuckin rocking my world. I have been straight kickin’ ass and takin’ names.

  2. XAvi
    June 18, 2014 at 7:18 pm — Reply

    Yo I cant see the pic

    • June 18, 2014 at 7:57 pm — Reply

      Must have something to do with us working on the new design. The pic is posted on my twitter. And you can see it in the sidebar too.

      • June 18, 2014 at 8:05 pm — Reply

        Never mind it’s working now.

  3. Cam..
    June 18, 2014 at 9:51 pm — Reply

    This is probably In my top 3 posts on your site..

    Personally I think if I went out to a motel I’d go crazy from no interaction with society.

    You ever heard of Apolo Ohno..? He’s an 8 time Olympic medalist at short track speed racing. Long story short.. His dad did the same thing to him that you’re advising here.

    When he was a teen he got caught up in hanging with the wrong kids, drugs and even ran away from his training camp. His dad took him to a cabin far from home with no tv, no friends .. Nothing. He stayed there for a couple of days and finally got his act together. He got back, trained hard af, and is now a legend in winter sports!

    There must be something about this unplugging from technology shit if a lot of successfull folks have tried it.

    ***He leg pressed 1800 lbs at bout 155lbs in right before the Vancouver Winter Olympics.

    • Cam..
      June 19, 2014 at 2:23 am — Reply

      Props on the cut too! Looking lean.

  4. XAvi
    June 19, 2014 at 5:24 am — Reply

    Shit thats a crazy transformation. How did you exactly diet. Did you cut back the calories or carbs?

    • June 19, 2014 at 6:17 am — Reply

      I never count calories. I cut back the carbs considerably

  5. June 19, 2014 at 8:25 am — Reply

    This is an awesome/excellent post. I’ll be directing several of my friends to this page, especially those really uncertain and clueless about the direction they are heading in their lives. At one point in the past, I did something very similar which got me to the social well-being, physical health, and career success that I have today. That “inner voice” is so crucial to men in their self-development, and it’s important to find the time to hear yourself out and recognize the things you truly need and don’t need, and what you really want and don’t want.

    • June 19, 2014 at 5:36 pm — Reply

      Absolutely. Only way to get the life you truly want is to be 100% in control and do what you want.
      Definitely harder for the younger guys to get in that mindset especially if they grew up with overbearing helicopter parents and still go through life with that invisible leash on them.

  6. Milun
    June 19, 2014 at 11:43 am — Reply

    Man this is what sets you apart from the herd. Actually focusing on the stuff in a man’s life that seems to be missing these days. I can really agree with this as most of my life has been spent with lots of time amongst nature and restricted technology (or at least learning to not let technology control my thinking and shit). It’s winter down here in the southern hemisphere atm so I’ve been indoors a lot, surrounded by technology and really stressed with exams. This reminded me that I should go out early this weekend for a long ocean coastal walk! And impressive cut btw

    • June 19, 2014 at 5:34 pm — Reply

      Yea man… I got a lot of interesting stuff to write/talk about.
      Definitely bringing my old school/simple upbringing to provide valuable content.

  7. sebastian
    June 23, 2014 at 11:33 pm — Reply

    Man i read your article and i instantly thought about going camping all by myself , I’m 19 and i feel like this would help me in so many ways, tired of seeing my parents working their assess off, i wanna give them my all for everything they’ve done for me but i need some clarity. Thanks man you really help

    • June 24, 2014 at 4:22 am — Reply

      Yea dude. Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all. Glad you liked it.

  8. Ralphlockwood
    July 8, 2014 at 7:04 pm — Reply

    That list of questions for past,present and future gave me some real clarity on some issues I’ve been wrestling with of late. Thank you and well done.

    • July 8, 2014 at 10:50 pm — Reply

      Glad to hear it man. Thanks for stopping by!

  9. ANThony
    July 14, 2014 at 10:59 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    What’s your view on masturbation? tl:dr I live in a small town that I’m trying to get out of and don’t really want to fool around with these scumbag girls around here.

    Should I just be doing it when I feel like it? Should I not and try to focus that sexual energy on bettering my situation?


    • July 14, 2014 at 10:33 pm — Reply

      The best way to masturbate is inside a woman haha. It’s natural everyone is going to do it. I think guys should limit it and exhibit self-control. There’s a lack of self-control in this generation that’s why your average guy is a feminine figure who jerks his life away in his 20s.

      I don’t think you should completely ignore sex. You should be getting chicks especially if you are in your 20s. Bottom line don’t try to go the whole “focus my energy on something else” route if it means not having a sex life when you are young.

      I think you need to at least try and socialize with some people in your town before you completely leave it for good. A lot of guys think that by leaving home for another location will automatically better their situation. They’ll get more friends, get more chicks, and be happier. That’s not necessarily true.

      If you are unhappy with your current situation you need to hold yourself accountable for the adjustments you could make to how you deal with the world/how the world views you.

  10. Goldengreek
    July 17, 2014 at 2:16 pm — Reply

    Nice picture of the Mem….I’ll be heading out there this weekend

  11. Jay
    July 24, 2014 at 2:16 am — Reply

    I did this recently and it completely cleared the cobwebs on my direction/lack of in decision in one area.

    Altered the format a bit but nonetheless it simplified my vision and cleared all the “noise” out of the way. Simplicity forces you to address the lingering question/thoughts. It flushes out the underlying causes of many behaviors/thought patterns and drives home the key reflection point for me, action.

    I wrote an aside that was inspired by the above exercise and is a reflection of my takeaways.

    The sentiment is being “fit to captain a ship” I am the ship and I must set the course. I must be willing to maintain my vision, deal with the dangers, alter the course when necessary, brave the dangers, and seek shelter if need be. All of these are just euphemisms for the fact that a man must be accountable for their destination and you get there by taking action.

    If you aren’t accountable to acting to get to that destination then you might as well by a ticket in steerage because you are on another persons voyage.

    Thanks for posting this exercise and keep up the good work.

    • July 24, 2014 at 4:17 am — Reply

      Thanks for stopping by. Absolutely, you have to be in control of your own life. That will also make you care the most.

      That’s why a lot of rich kids have a “I don’t care attitude”… because there’s usually someone else who can do it for them/support them.

  12. […] Have faith that you can control your life. […]

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  15. February 27, 2015 at 3:46 am — Reply

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