I have emphasized the importance of social skills since the beginning of Strength By Sonny.


Why have I done this? I have done this because communication makes the world go round. You must have social awareness and you must how to interact with people.

That is the bare minimum to developing friendships and relationships.

If you don’t want to acknowledge this or think you can skip this (as many aspiring PUA’s try to do), you are holding yourself back. You will spend years in stagnation. I promise you.

It should make sense. Social skills are the fundamental answer to every “social” problem you may have.

How can I get more friends? Improve your social skills.

How can I get a better with girls? Improve your social skills.

How can I become a more attractive person overall? Improve your social skills.

If you want to improve your social skills, this post and podcast are for you.

Poor social skills is a growing epidemic.

Tony and I agree on this. It’s really a product of the times where technology has sort of taken over our lives. We are consumed by it.

Everywhere you look people are glued to their smartphones and tablets.

Do you think this relates to overall poor social skills and social awkwardness? I do.

Seriously, look at how socially awkward so many people are today.

It used to be you would have a few oddballs who were video game nerds/glued to the Game Boy.

But now it’s more common. It seems like every other person is a social retard.

If this is you, you have to fix it!

The Most Efficient Way to Improve Your Social Skills

The most efficient way to improve your social skills fast is to get a job that requires constant interaction with others.

The most efficient way to improve your social skills fast is to get a job that requires constant interaction with others.

The ideal way to develop good social skills is to be conditioned starting at an early age. Have cool friends all throughout school and start dating when you’re ready.

When that happens, there’s nothing you really need to work on. You just “get it” because it’s been there the whole time.

Not everyone has this luxury. I understand that.

The next best way to improve your social skills is to place yourself in an environment where good social skills are not only encouraged but often required.

Therefore, if you are a young adult and you want to improve your social skills, it is strongly recommended that you get a job that requires good social skills.

Think about it. A significant portion of your day is spent interacting with others. You learn how to observe people. You learn how to talk to them. Ultimately, you learn how to judge a book by its cover and act accordingly.

Maybe you want to get a sale? You learn who you are talking to and grease the wheels.

Maybe you want to solidify a contact? You offer value.

This translates to activities outside of work. Maybe you want to get a chick out on a date (as many of you do). You position yourself as a “yes” by offering value and letting the chick close herself.

On top of improving your social skills, you also get to make money. You can make a decent chunk of change if you go the industry route (especially in the big party cities).

So let’s see. Improve your social skills by getting a job that requires a lot of interacting with people. You get to make money. As a bonus, you also get to make friends. Seems like a good idea.

Improve Your Social Skills By Listening to Sonny and Tony

Improve your social skills and make money aka kill two birds with one stone.

Improve your social skills and make money aka kill two birds with one stone.

In this episode of The Dorms to Daybeds Podcast, Tony and I discuss the importance of good social skills.

We agree that the best way to improve your social skills as fast as possible is to get a job that requires you to talk with people all day (or night if you go the service industry route).

Collectively, Tony and I have worked a ton of jobs that required us to constantly interact with people. Overall, it made us better communicators which has translated to awesome social circles and successful dating lives.

We talk about a lot of different job experiences and agree on a select few jobs to improve social skills. The main 3 we spend time talk about are:

– service industry: bartender/waiter

– camp counselor

– retail sales

Please understand that we do not encourage you to pursue these jobs as full-time career options.

I like to think of these jobs as a sort of a “kill two birds with one stone” strategy.

Maybe you’re a shy kid in college and want to break out of your shell? A weekend bar-tending gig might be the perfect way to get friends (and chicks) and also make some extra scratch on the side.

Enjoy!

Click play or go to iTunes to download.


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15 Comments

  1. […] Improve Your Social Skills Working These Jobs (As a Young Adult) […]

  2. Bartenderer
    January 20, 2016 at 6:35 am — Reply

    I wanted to comment on this article myself as someone who wanted to be a bartender a while back when he was in college.

    The issue with being a bartender, especially in your typical college town, is that you need to have the looks and social skills to actually get the job in the first place. At a lot of universities it is so bad that you practically have to be a pledge leader of a fraternity in order to get a job as a bartender at a decent bar that brings in the cool social crowd and hot girl. Now if someone was that guy like a fraternity pledge leader, they wouldn’t really be reading sites like yours. Most of these sites generally attract guys who were not in the cool crowd growing up or even in college because they are the ones who need this advice.

    I did get a job as a bartender one summer in college but it was at a very awful bar that commonly brought in older people, bikers, very low quality older women, and a few oddballs. For a lot of us going to big party schools, bartending jobs are extremely competitive and typically go to higher status frat bros and good looking sorority sisters. Honestly, the best thing you can do in college is if you are a full time student, add in electives that make you be more social like an acting class or a speaking class. Being social in college should be relatively easy, it is after college where the problems come in.

    I wish that more of your blog was geared towards people who are fresh out of college and no longer had the privilege of being near an area where everyone was around their age. The guys who are in their 20s but out of college and want to continue to better their social skills and get better with girls as well.

    • January 21, 2016 at 6:30 am — Reply

      Great post man thanks for taking the time to do this.

      Yes, electives are a great way to expand your social circle.

      I took an acting class my last semester in college, it definitely forces you to open up.

      I wrote a serious on developing social circles for post-college years. Check it out!

      • Bartenderer
        January 22, 2016 at 2:57 am — Reply

        I did check a lot of them out man but I think that you should focus on it even more for your blog, it can earn you a big following as this is a huge niche. So many of these other blogs are random game cold approach nonsense but if you focused solely on building a social circle, making cool friends after college, and building your overall social life/dating life after college then you would get a huge following. I read your articles about making small talk about and 4 ways to meet girls after college, but I think there needs to be more on the topic.

        It is an issue for so many of us guys who missed out in high school and even college (where getting laid isn’t exactly THAT EASY). I think that this is something you can discuss more on your blog and it will attract a lot of guys looking for advice.

        I find that you really do know your shit when it comes to meeting women and building a friend’s circle. I mean you’re way better than some phony PUAs that tell guys to go spam a city with cold approaches, get what I am saying?

        Hate to be a critic here but if you narrowed down your topic to just post college game, getting laid, and meeting women after college then I think your blog might just take off. Instead of the motivational stuff that people get from a lot of other sites and the bodybuilding advice which people can get from a lot of other places, I think that if you focused on this topic, it will make your site unique and attract a lot of quality traffic.

        • January 22, 2016 at 6:29 am — Reply

          Thanks man! I will keep all of this in mind for the future. Also stay tuned for future podcast episodes

          • W
            January 30, 2016 at 2:58 pm

            An article about why the young men didn’t have the social experience would be great. For what reasons , for example
            – anormal intelligence, super sensibility, other interest, etc
            The why article then followed by some proposition how to resolve it.

          • January 31, 2016 at 4:10 am

            I’ve already talked about parental conditioning in the past. Give it a look.

        • W
          January 30, 2016 at 2:52 pm — Reply

          Can confirm. Even more precise information about this would be huge, helpful. So many men with no direction because they can’t the right advice. Barteender what was your issue ?

          • January 31, 2016 at 4:10 am

            There’s no issue… Everyone just wants a little more. I’ll continue to deliver it.

  3. Joelsuf
    January 22, 2016 at 10:08 am — Reply

    You know, if only I had the resources/money/discipline to do mass social research on this. Cuz I have a theory: I feel like the reason we have so many raging conspiracy theorists, internet trolls, and SJWs who mask their own nasty intentions with the stuff that they talk about is because of the overuse of screentime that contributes to their lack of social skills. I feel like we are becoming more impressionable by shock articles that are shared on social networking and blogs etc and other propaganda that it is just now starting to straight up replace our social skills. This is not a new 2010s thing, I feel like this has been going on for a lot longer than we would care to admit, since the 1980s at least (with the invention of the Walkman and Cable TV). Its classic slow burn theory, what started with Cable TV and Walkmen 35 years ago has now grown into the monster of smartphones and social networking now. IMO its quite scary, in a decade we are gonna see a lot more raging SJWs, conspiracy theorists, and other such “activists” who know nothing more than their own little world because that what is possible with social networking: Being able to relate ONLY to your little world and not getting punished for not being able to relate to the rest of the world. Even on social networking, my rl buddies, people who I have known for the better part of 15 years, can’t resist the temptation to post a nonsensical article about how evil something/someone is, without doing a lick of damn research on it. They can do this without penalty now, and I believe it is going to bring out the true intentions in most people which IMO are pretty narcissistic, nihilistic and at times, even fatalistic.

    But yeah this is great advice, certainly something I had to do myself. I’ve worked in retail for most of my life and am a supervisor now, when I took my first retail job I had next to zero people skills and didn’t even know how to look people in the face when talking to them haha. I’m a little better now, but there is still a lot of unwiring to do. I wasted pretty much all of my adolescence sheltering myself. Sorry for the diatribe in the beginning, I’ve been passionate about the negative effects of social networking for a good five years now. I want to get into grad school and do some legit research on it, but I just do not have the discipline to get into grad school at all.

    • January 24, 2016 at 4:33 am — Reply

      Yea the masses are very impressionable.

      Big Brother will continue to pretty much do whatever they want…

    • W
      January 30, 2016 at 3:00 pm — Reply

      IT makes a lot of sense.
      And your’re right about the without penalty and the effect on the social networks. but if you heal, you will strive

      • January 31, 2016 at 4:11 am — Reply

        Yup.

  4. Dillon
    February 17, 2016 at 12:36 am — Reply

    I can vouch for this. One of the best decisions I made was to get a sales job this past summer as a 20 year old. Searching contacts, cold calling them, setting up an appointment and giving them a presentation in their house trying to sell them $4000 worth of stuff really forces you to be sharp socially. Doing door-to-door is 10x harder, you only have a few seconds to build rapport to buy yourself more time. It’s the type of job that causes exponential growth though. Btw thanks a lot Sonny especially these past few weeks you’ve been killing it…way more than your competition out there.

    Cheers from London!

    • February 17, 2016 at 2:09 am — Reply

      I know a bunch of chicks that were in the industry and then switched to door to door sales (home improvement/water) and they absolutely kill it.

      Sales is king for young single guys.

      Make money.

      Build social skills.

      Accomplish something and build confidence.

      That’s called winning.

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