Don’t get offended when I use the word “you.” “You” does not apply to every single person that reads this article.

“You” simply refers to the typical guy that seeks out information from the PUA authorities/companies. “You” is the stereotypical guy who is susceptible to becoming so immersed in the PUA cult culture that he becomes just another fanboy who blows thousands of hours (and dollars) into this shit. Yes, there is a stereotype.

Also note that I use the word “knows” interchangeably with assumes.

Here are the main things that the PUA industry knows or “assumes” about you:

1. They know that you probably don’t have much of a relationship with your father.

Young, impressionable, desperate... these are the perfect attributes for the PUA Industry viewership

Young, impressionable, desperate… these are the perfect attributes for the PUA Industry viewership

It’s no secret that the past few decades have witnessed the rapid decline of the father-son relationship. Gone are the days when guys regarded their fathers as their actual heroes. Gone are the days when guys played catch with their fathers during the week. Gone are the days when they teamed up on the weekends to work on dad’s car.

Those days are gone. It’s a very different story now. Fathers and sons don’t have that strong bond that they used to have. They’re basically roommates and in many instances, mom’s the landlord.

The PUA industry might not understand this in as great of detail but they grasp the fact that you probably don’t have a strong relationship with your father.

Why is this important? Because it means that you have a void and that deep down you are likely looking to fill it. It means that there is a part of you that is lost. You lack direction.

What are the characteristics are the perfect “potential PUA viewer”: young, impressionable and desperate (with no direction)

You guys that fit this mold are the most susceptible to becoming a cult like follower who treats pick-up like a religion.

One of the most powerful ways to cultivate loyalty (becomes a “following” on a large scale) is to be a regarded as a positive role mode. A role model is someone you look up to because they provide you with guidance and assurance (you’re on the right path).

Having a role model can be a double edged sword. On the one hand, it is a positive thing because you get guidance and a sense of security that you are being led in the right direction (things are going to be okay). You get to interact with and learn from someone who has experience with many of the things you have questions with.

On the other hand, it can get to the point where you regard your role model as an infallible being who can do no wrong. This leads me to my second point.

2. They know that you overestimate them (and assume best case scenario).

The PUA Industry knows that you assume best case scenario.

The PUA Industry knows that you assume best case scenario.

I had a very old school relationship with my father. When I was a little kid, he was my hero. To me he could do no wrong. To me he was the biggest, strongest, and toughest guy in the world.

But eventually I grew up and came to accept that none of this was true.

This is sort of the dynamic that develops between potential pickup students and PUA “experts”/companies.

Many kids come to view their favorite pickup authorities as guys who can do no wrong (in the realm of dating). Whatever the pinnacle of dating success is, they do it (and then some). In their mind, PUA teachers are regularly going out multiple nights a week, pulling and banging dime piece models, and that they also have a harem of dime pieces on call. On top of it they’re also running successful businesses.

They believe this without much promotion.

PUA “authorities” understand this perfectly. The lying, fake stories, and fake infield footage simply magnify these beliefs and enable “the legend” to grow.

This one of the main reasons why the whole pick-up culture has essentially become a cult or religion.

3. They know that you currently have (had) a low value brand (in society’s eyes).

In dating, you either have value of you don't. If you don't... you must get it.

In dating, you either have value of you don’t. If you don’t… you must get it.

That’s just how it is. The stereotypical guy who gets really immersed in the PUA culture is not exactly the top dog in social situations. Here are some of the stereotypical characteristics:

– He probably isn’t that physically coordinated.

– He is probably more inclined to surfing the web/playing video games than lifting weights/being physically active.

– He probably wasn’t among the popular crowd growing up.

– He probably isn’t a guy who can enter any social situation and be well respected by his peers.

– He probably doesn’t dress well.

– He probably has poor social skills.

– He probably lacks confidence in himself.

– He has low testosterone.

4. They know that you are desperate. You will believe anything. You want to believe that your wildest fantasies of “someday” can come true. They know that you are willing to do anything to attain this.

The PUA Industry knows there is a degree of desperation.

The PUA Industry knows there is a degree of desperation.

There are all sorts of crazy stories of guys believing anything and doing anything all in the name of improving their dating life:

– Spending hours a day reading websites and watching pickup videos.

– Doing thousands of approaches over the course of several years in order to “get better game.”

– Continuing to harass chicks when they clearly want you to leave them alone.

Disregarding society’s unwritten white knight rule that it is frowned upon to approach and interact with a woman (that you don’t know) in public. There are potential consequences when the authorities witness this and follow their initial instinct to overreact.

In the video, I gave the example of having kids go to gay bars to number close guys to reiterate my point. I texted it to a “PUA authority” that I know as a joke. He would never do it… right? Wrong.

He already had. He told the kids to do just that (as a joke). They actually did it. This proves my point just how far some guys will go.

Here are the screenshots showing the details:

PUA Text 1

PUA Text 2

PUA Text 3


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The PUA Industry Revealed: Part III (The Motivating Factors of PUA Gurus and Companies)

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The PUA Industry Revealed: Part V (Comparing the PUA Industry and the Fitness Industry)



  1. About getting over past demons
    March 16, 2016 at 5:31 am — Reply

    “– He probably wasn’t among the popular crowd growing up.”

    Sonny, you have talked about this in your post about sexless youth as well. What I want to know is, for the guys reading your blog, how can they overcome this issue mentally?

    I mean lets face it, high school and college bring about some major chances for social validation. You play sports in high school and already have that built in social circle meaning that you can party with the athletes and hot girls, nerds not invited. Now in college, it is more of the same, you have fraternities and sports teams that get to go to parties and slam hot girls.

    In the real world, the game changes because you no longer have that built in social circle. Now while it does make it easier for guys to get laid, I find that having that validation which comes from the camaraderie, relationships, brotherhood, social circle, as well as having sex with hot girls is hard to find. What I am trying to say is that “the popular crowd” and all of that doesn’t exist after college since people are off on their own.

    For a guy who lets say figured it all out at 25 and got it together, it can be a big blow. Yes, you can get hot girls now but it is not the same as having done it in a school setting where so many people are fighting for status. It is like that feeling that you’re fighting for a consolation prize because so many of the cool kids have “matured” and are no longer on the market.

    Sonny, for a guy like the 25 year old in that situation who is hurt because the popularity game doesn’t exist after college and feels very let down that he peaked too late, what is your advice?

    Also, can you do a post about something like this in the future? Like mentally dealing with a sexless youth and being the outcast.

    • March 16, 2016 at 6:45 pm — Reply

      Tough for me to do… I can’t write a genuine post on mentally dealing with a sexless youth because I’ve never been the outcast. Can’t relate.

      However, I could come up with something to help from a mindset standpoint.

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