Looks matter… and they matter all the time.
It is often the case that people win/lose in the business of people before they even begin playing.
The reason for this is because we live in a judgmental world. This is not me being a pain body. This is not me expressing anger as a result of my own failures (particularly in the job market). It’s how the world works.
People operate in Cliff’s Notes mode. Their initial judgements are largely based off of what they see when they first meet you.
Yes… A person’s initial assumption of what you bring to the table takes place during their first physical encounter with you.
This article is on the importance of becoming a man of “many looks.”
Multi-dimensionality is THE GAME
It’s difficult for me to pick and choose my favorite articles on this site. There’s so many good ones with a lot of different messages.
However, based off of every single interaction I have had with many of you, whether it be a simple e-mail or a live 3 day consultation… one message remains clear.
If you want to improve your relations with other people, you must emphasize social skills and personal branding in your everyday life.
More specifically, multi-dimensionality must be at the forefront of your goals. You must be striving to live life to the fullest… chock full of new and interesting experiences.
When you are multi-dimensional, you have the ability to read situations and people. This is important because if you are smart, you will use this as guide to adjust your physical appearance, outward behavior, and conversations according to the situation.
For now, we will focus on physical appearance (appropriate fashion).
Above All: Know Your Environment
That’s what it all boils down to. Know your place. Know where you are. Know who you are speaking with. That is what puts the odds in your favor of people acting favorably towards you (making a good first impression).
Now you may be asking yourself… Does this mean “just be yourself” is bullshit advice? Well, check out the video to see my take on it.
*** I think “just be yourself” is great advice on a fundamental level. When you are “yourself”, this is when you are most confident and naturally relaxed.
However, you still need to go beyond that and be aware of your particular situation… you must always be adjusting according to the norms of your environment.
How you look in the comforts of your own home should differ from how you look for a job interview… which should differ from how you look at a college party… which should differ from how you look when your girlfriend introduces you to her parents for the first time… and on and on and on.
Okay, enough theory… time for some real life picture examples and explanations.
Example 1- Right Before a Job Interview
The Summer/Fall of 2013 was a period of immense personal growth. My lifestyle was simple but my outlook was very complicated.
I was back home living with my parents. I had 2 degrees from a top tier university and was struggling to get that first “real job”.
In all honesty, it was the angriest time period in my life. I felt helpless. I felt like a loser and was very lost.
*** The anger/helplessness that a lot of guys feel about their dating/social lives… This is what I felt towards the job market. So in a way, I know that same anger and frustration when you are completely lost.
This particular picture is a selfie that I took while waiting in the lobby before a job interview.
Notice anything different? I’m not sporting my usual “in your face” look.
Look, I am a naturally intimidating guy and I look like “trouble.” There are perks to this… guys don’t fuck with me and chicks are attracted to me. But unfortunately, none of this stuff matters in the job market.
No one wants to hire a big, scary guy who fits the “bodybuilder” stereotype. Here’s a teaser for the eventual “how to get a job” series:
*** Employers look for this in potential employees ***
They want someone who will keep their head down, do their job, and not cause any problems. Ultimately, they want someone that they know they will have control over at all times.
Getting rejected time after time after one interview shoved this in my face. I absolutely had to tone it down to appease my potential employers.
I couldn’t go in sporting my usual slicked back hair, beard, and pumped up look. I had to tone it down and make myself less physically intimidating (and in the process more attractive as a potential employee).
In this picture, I am clean shaven, my hair is cut shorter, and I am chubbier. I am sporting a simple gray suit, white dress shirt, and a non-red tie (red is a power color for ties… I personally think this is a big no-no for that first interview).
I also didn’t work out for a few weeks. In my mind it was a necessary sacrifice in order to have a fighting chance.
Example 2- Lunch with a Very Successful Entrepreneur
This picture was taken during the summer of 2013, during my job search. The man in the picture with me is a very successful entrepreneur who owns several businesses spread across the globe.
He is an old friend of my father’s. They go way back to the downtown New York City 1980’s scene.
My father put me in touch with him because he knew that I was upset when I was struggling with my job search. My father and this man have a lot respect for one another.
I knew that he was a busy man and that he was going out of his way to have lunch with me.
I was not going to waste his time by showing up and looking like a slob for our first meeting.
Although it was a very casual meeting, the right thing to do (out of respect) was to show up wearing a nice dress shirt, nice dress pants, and polished dress shoes.
Knowing him, he would have probably been okay with me showing up wearing a t-shirt and shorts… However, dressing like this showed that I understood the business of people and recognized the importance of showing respect where respect is due. It also established the fact that I valued his time and was serious about taking any advice/help that he offered.
Example 3- College Party
This picture was taken during the summer of 2014, right before I went out to a college party.
There are many different environments where you can score chicks. And in my opinion (and experience), you absolutely have to dress (and portray yourself) according to your environment in order to play the part.
College parties are fun and they are full of college kids doing stupid shit.
As a result, you definitely want to be characterized as “young” and “cool.” You want to seem like an approachable guy that people (especially girls) will feel comfortable socializing and having a good time with.
That’s what this particular look illustrates. I’m rocking a tank top with a cool design with a hint of bright colors. I rocking a snapback Miami Heat hat… back when it was still cool to rock Heat gear 😉
If you want to get really in depth with it… I am also rocking a real gold chain and a real gold bracelet. Most college kids don’t rock real jewelry so it does help make me a little more eye catching (I sometimes get compliments on them).
College parties are often loud and crowded. I’m definitely from the school of thought that in such environments, you definitely want to fit in with the scene but at the same time be subtly eye catching.
Concluding Thoughts on Becoming a Man of Many Looks
Becoming a man of many looks is an essential part of becoming a well-rounded multidimensional individual. More importantly, it is a crucial element in the overall process of developing your personal brand.
You don’t want to be a one trick pony relying on one template trying thrive in different environments. You want to train yourself to become a well-adjusted individual who has options.
You are going to deal with many different people of many different backgrounds. You are going to face challenges in many different environments and social situations… And you are going to want to perform and leave a good impression on people.
The way you do that is by understanding the norms of what is acceptable (and expected) in your environment. This understanding is what will enable you to make the necessary adjustments at the appropriate time.
See ya guys later.