Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part IV (Playful Physical Screening)

Physical Screening should be PLAYFUL.

It should not be mechanical. You should not be going through some sort of checklist in your head. Remember, logic does not carry much value at the table of attraction anyway (insert law link). Playfulness does though. When you touch chicks in a playful/fun way, it shows that you are a flirt. That’s a good thing.

This playful type of screening is basic stuff that most guys who “get it” right away tend to naturally do in their high school years. This is standard procedure. Guys who naturally “get it” aka naturals do this when they talk to attractive women. However, like basic physical screening, playful physical screening is not limited to some exclusive club.

Anybody can do these as well. It just requires more social competence so that you can determine when it’s appropriate to touch a chick in a certain way. For instance, if a chick won’t even let you touch her in a non-sexual manner, she probably wouldn’t be too receptive to being even more playful with your touch.


Why you MUST playfully touch a chick when you flirt with her.

 It shows that you have EXPERIENCE aka “you get it.”

It shows you have a fun side and if she’s receptive, it shows she has a fun side too.

Since its higher risk, it weeds out the not DTF chicks pretty effectively.

Guys are supposed to lead and be “hands on”… it’s only natural.

Playful hitting/shoving is high school stuff… it’s always good.


This is Playful Sexual Flirting 101. Back in high school, this is how you knew if a chick was into you. If you guys joked and around and she playfully hit or shoved you, that’s what made it OBVIOUS.

Guess what? Not much changes after high school. Guys and girls still communicate interest toward one another in the same way. One of the first ones to come up is playful physicality usually in the form of playfully hitting or shoving the other person.


When is it most appropriate to playfully hit/shove a chick?

 After you make a joke teasing her.

That’s why what you say absolutely matters.


 What is the most appropriate part to playfully hit/shove?

 Her shoulder or upper arm.


 Go for the body…


This is especially true for chicks that you are attracted to and want to have sex with. When you are flirting with them, you should be touching their body during the interaction. Again, it’s all about being playful.

This goes hand in hand with teasing them and joking around. You’re the dude so you are the one who is in control. Again, what is the magic word fellas? PLAYFUL. This is still joking around but there’s no chance of you doing this to the chick and her thinking “just a friend.” No. If you playfully touch a chick’s body when you guys are joking around, she knows what’s up.


These are the usual examples of playfully going for the body.

 Lightly pinching/rubbing her leg.

Grabbing her leg/arm/ass.

Putting your hand on/rubbing her lower back.

Holding her waist.

 Ass Grab Example: You might ask her if she works out. Tell her to turn around and blatantly check her out. Grab her ass and smile. If she’s laughs and sees it as NO BIG DEAL… you might have a winner.

This requires some basic instinct on your part. You like the chick’s body so why wouldn’t you be touching it at some point? Don’t be scurred… she might dig it. KEEP IN MIND you usually have to have the chick engaged in conversation and at least somewhat into you. So DO NOT OPEN with these.

The time you do this is when you and the chick have some sort of vibe/flow established. It could be immediately. It could take time. It depends on a lot of things. But that’s how this goes. There will never be a universal method that anyone could follow. Your best bet is to become good with people and rely on instinct.


Kissing is Kool… But it’s not KING.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. And it has to do with the reason why kissing is included in this section on playful physical screening and not the next one. You ready?

Kissing a chick DOES NOT guarantee you are going to have sex with her.

It simply doesn’t. It doesn’t even guarantee that the chick is down. Kissing is fun. It’s playful. It’s simple. You lock eyes with the chick and then just go for it. So you should go for it when you want/think is the right time.

It doesn’t take much for a chick to kiss or make out with a dude at a bar or club. Usually just some alcohol. However, just because a chick kisses some dude at a bar, doesn’t mean she’s going to let him stick her.

To me that’s mainstream crap that society is brainwashed by, similar to the general viewpoints when it comes to approaching women and rejection. No, kissing a chick does not guarantee that you are going to bang her. The only thing that kissing a chick accomplishes is that it shows that…


The odds might be in your favor.

That’s the only thing that kissing a chick means. It means that she’s let your lips touch hers, so you might have a shot. Again, we’re not even taking availability or any of that other stuff into consideration here. The truth is she could just be really drunk and not have any idea what’s going on (a lot of aspiring PUA’s come across these chicks and just think that their super-duper game is “on”).

That’s the cold hard truth when it comes to kissing a chick.

Kissing is not a big deal.

Guys often get “stuck” after kissing a chick because they fall for that storyline. They think it’s just like the movies where they kiss/make out with a chick and that’s who they’re going home with at night and banging.

They kiss the chick and wonder “Okay, now what? When is she going to take me out of here to go back to her place?” But it’s not the end of the road. Ultimately, you have to be a closer and show the chick that you are going to take care of business… a guy who’s not afraid to take the lead, a guy who wants sex and who is actually going to pull the trigger when the time comes.

That has to be you. There should be no questions as to what your intentions are. The way you do that will be explained in the next article on “Blatant Physical Screening”.


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Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part III (Basic Physical Screening)

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Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part V (Blatant Physical Screening)



  1. Chris the Greek
    May 15, 2014 at 3:59 am — Reply

    So after kissing a chick, you like to just grab her hand and try and pull her back to your place right?

    • May 15, 2014 at 6:36 am — Reply

      No. I need like to have a complete understanding with the chick about what’s gonna happen. I like to sweet talk them whispering in their ear… The last physical screening article will explain this I feel.

  2. slayer
    May 16, 2014 at 1:28 pm — Reply

    I cracked up at the dumb and dumber pic

  3. slayer
    May 16, 2014 at 1:30 pm — Reply

    Nice article btw. Especially about the kissing. Truth

  4. Daan
    July 4, 2014 at 8:42 am — Reply

    Sonny! I’ve read all your articles and over the last few months I’ve kissed some girls on various occassions and that is true.

    I come to the point that a couple of times I met a girl somewhere, planned a date with her (non-alcoholic in two cases) in which I took them somewhere for a cup of tea or whatever (because i couldnt drink at that moment). I kissed them for a while at the end and then I never hear from them again.

    What could go wrong? My talking? Going for the kiss too quick? Or can it just not be on all the time?

    • July 7, 2014 at 10:12 pm — Reply

      It depends on what the conversation/vibe was during the date.

      For instance, if it’s a friendly and you’re not portraying yourself as a sexual threat (ex. light touching, suggestive comments, strong eye contact) and then kiss her at the end…. that could throw her off and shock her.

      Maybe the chick just isn’t one of those chicks that kisses so quick and that throws her off…

      It really depends on the chick.

      But def let me know what was going on vibe-wise,

      • Daan
        July 8, 2014 at 3:43 pm — Reply

        About the last one: I took her to a hotel lobby. On the sofa she ended up in my arms and I teased and touched her of course. She still texts me right now.

        I think in most of my dating years (since I was 15 or so) I fucked up because I texted too much and got too needy.

        • July 8, 2014 at 11:08 pm — Reply

          My rule of thumb is you shouldn’t be texting chicks that much period… let alone after you bang them. Wait for them to hit you up.

          After you bang a chick, the ball’s in your court. There’s no pressure. You already got it. Just go about your business…. It’s in their nature to find a guy to latch onto. They are the ones in search of a source of fulfillment… a strong man fills that void for them. When guys text too much/too often it fucks up the dynamic.

          • Daan
            July 9, 2014 at 12:04 am

            And before you bang them?

          • July 9, 2014 at 3:47 am

            Same thing keep it as minimal as possible.

            ex. Say it’s Monday and I wanted to hang out with a chick on Thursday. I might send some sort of feeler text to see what her week was looking like. I would call her Wednesday night to set it up (prob talk a good 10-20 minutes setting it up and flirting with her hardcore saying suggestive stuff/making naughty comments… if she’s giggling and still down to hang out she’s prob down when you guys hang out).

  5. Daan
    July 9, 2014 at 11:52 am — Reply

    Thanks Sonny.

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