Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part I (The Only Question That Matters)
I told you we were just getting started… Welcome to Part I of Sonny’s Guide to Screening. With the series we are very much getting back into the dating/game section of our community. I’m thinking this might be a six part series (maybe more). This is big. It’s big because not many guys who get into the whole “how to get girls” stuff know what screening is and most certainly do not know how to actually screen chicks. This is a problem.
** I credit GLL with first coining the term “screening” and being the first to teach it back when he first started his site. I’ve unknowingly “screened” probably since high school and have knowingly and willingly done it since August 2010.
This is a major problem that traditional PUA sources simply neglect. Traditional PUA “gurus” promote the idea (unrealistic fantasy) that all girls are DTF at any given time and with the right amount of “game”, you can get any girl into the bedroom. They teach a very unrealistic game plan. That game plan is to basically approach every girl you see (regardless of the social situation)… If you don’t get her, it’s because your “game was off” or “were not in state.” If you do get her, it’s because your “game was on” or “were in state.” Look, I could probably write another 5-6 part series on what’s wrong with the whole PUA Industry and the scams involved. I don’t want to because there would be a lot of negativity involved and I just want to keep it as positive as possible. *** It is very tempting though, a lot of solid points would be touched upon. However, for now, the main thing I want you guys to realize is that traditional pick-up is flawed for the following main reasons…
1) It is inefficient.
2) It is unrealistic (the inexperienced audience member buys into fantasy).
3) A lot of “experts” don’t have the dating life they portray.
4) A lot of “experts” have some sort or emotional/psychological issue that was never addressed. Dedicating their lives to pick-up was their way of sweeping those issues to the side.
5) Most sources ignore helping guys improve the things that truly matter… aka helping guys bring more to the table.
*** I could have listed over a hundred things… these were the first 5 that came to mind.
Again, believe who you want to believe. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide who the legitimate sources are. I put my pictures up. I put up videos on YouTube. When I get the time, I will want to make my own “infield” videos… you can decide whether or not I am a credible source to be giving dating/game advice. You can decide whether or not I am a dude who speaks from actual experience. And you can decide whether or not I’m spittin the truth here. Either way I would strongly encourage you to read Part I and Part II of my original guide on game… Really take a look at those 10 Laws.
Ok enough ranting… enough acknowledging the faults in the PUA community. This about us… our team… Team SBS. We are about doing things the right way and keeping things simple. We are about becoming informed on the stuff that matters and ultimately getting what we want. Become strong… become informed… get what you want. That’s our game plan gentleman.
The 10 Laws Revisited and Simplified
There’s a reason why I wrote that two part guide to game article first… That’s our foundation for becoming as attractive/masculine as possible and getting laid. It’s our foundation of truth for the whole “how to get girls” material. Most importantly, it’s about helping us focus on the stuff that really matters.
It’s about playing the game with the odds in your favor.
Most communities/companies take a shoot as much as you can and hopefully you hit something approach. At SBS, we take a far different approach to hunting chicks (if you want to call it that). We are about becoming as attractive as possible and going after realistic options. We are about being sharp and precise.
We are not about the fantasy of overcoming insurmountable odds, plowing, overcoming anti-slut defense and then triumphing with the lay after several hours/days/weeks/months of “working on a chick”. That’s the type of inefficiency you see anonymous nerds writing about in their lay reports aka story writing on PUA forums.
We want results and we don’t want to waste time. We want to play the game on “easy mode.” Most communities teach this game stuff in a way that makes getting laid comparable to hitting 99 mph fastball that’s tailing in on your hands. Close your eyes and swing hard… maybe you’ll get lucky. It’s not that difficult nor should it be portrayed in such a manner. I’m teaching it in a way so that it’s more like hitting a beach ball off of a tee… EASY MODE.
It’s about finding those opportunities when the odds are in your favor and executing.
That’s my game plan/mindset. That’s how I plan on teaching this. The 10 Laws are forever ingrained in me. I was fortunate enough to emphasize my people skills/ability to relate with others as a young man growing up. I play to win and like to play when the odds are in my favor… when I go out trying to cold approach chicks and get laid. Social circle is king but I’ll eventually get to that as well. Here’s a brief insight into my approach (when I go out):
I don’t approach “mixed sets” or even girls in big groups… I go after chicks that are by themselves or with 1-2 girlfriends.
I don’t waste hours talking to chicks that are clearly unavailable/not interested by plowing… If a chick is not available or not interested I don’t care, I immediately leave and try to find one who is.
I don’t spam approach everything on site… I use my general observation skills/social coordination to assume possible DTF chicks and focus on them.
I don’t see girls of all races as being the same… Experience tells me that white girls are the most DTF. So I focus almost entirely on hitting on white chicks.
I don’t see all girls as being the same… I look for “chick edge”, physical attributes/characteristics that indicate a willingness to have some fun/a wild side.
I don’t follow a “pick-up checklist” to “game” girls or try to force them to like me… I spit that smooth, sexy LL flow when I’m talking to them and physically touch them (grazing their waist, strong eye contact, whispering naughty talk in their ear, and maybe even sneaking in a nibble here and there). If they don’t object I probably have a chance.
I don’t try to pull girls back to my place without having some sort of indication of “downness” and then try to make sex happen by plowing through anti-slut defense… I pull chicks that are high up on the Downness Scale. They are not chicks that will require me to work. For the most part, they are chicks that KNOW sex is going to happen and will be topping me off within minutes of getting back to the crib.
I don’t approach in awkward situations… I wait for the right moment/circumstances to make my move.
I don’t ask for chicks’ numbers when they are clearly unavailable or my intent to eventually have sex with them is not made abundantly clear (through verbal/physical flirting). I don’t “work on chicks” by engaging in long “gamey” text threads that lead to nowhere… I get chicks’ numbers that are DTF (or at least indicate that they are attracted) but simply can’t leave with me right then and there. I send a few flirty texts/pics, get them on the phone, and make it happen when we both have free time.
I don’t put on a fake persona and try to be something I am not. I don’t lie to chicks pretending to be their friend and eventually try to “game” them into my bed… I am myself. I’m nice but I’m still Sonny Arvado… a big douchebag from NY. There’s no confusion as to who I am and what I want. No chick has ever said/thought I’d make a great boyfriend who will become her friend first and then take her out on some dates to fancy restaurants before we first kiss. It’s made very clear from the get-go if I am sexually attracted to a chick. They know what they are getting themselves into. They are either IN or OUT for the most part… sometimes I can grease the wheels with the ones who are on the fence.
I don’t become emotionally attached or even consider trying to exclusively date hustlers (chicks who profit from their looks in some way)… I am very selective as to who I make an actual girlfriend. Chicks who are constantly being given validation/money for their looks are not girlfriend material. I like kind, beautiful girls that come from good families/have morals.
I don’t go out to bars/clubs with the intent to have a one night stand and hopefully keep her/make her my girlfriend (a chick that I would date exclusively)… If I want a high quality girl in my life, chances are I’m not going to meet her out getting wrecked at the club and then bang her. Chicks like that are usually “side piece” material at best, chicks that you hit up when you wanna get your joint copped on a Wednesday.
That’s pretty much a sampling of my mindset/general plan of attack when it comes to the whole dating game. I will explain all that stuff in greater detail in the upcoming parts. But for now, let’s define what SCREENING actually is.
Also be sure to read the following articles before totally getting into what I have to say on screening. This series on screening is pretty much useless if you don’t have an idea of what actually matters (in terms of your attractiveness and what you can do to maximize it) and don’t have a basic foundation of good general people skills:
The Only Question That Matters…
In Part I of our “How to Become Good With People” series, we talked about using CliffsNotes to profile a person. This is what screening is… except focusing on chicks. You are profiling chicks… You are asking yourself and trying to answer the only question that matters:
What is this chick’s deal?
That is your question. That is what you are trying to figure out… What is this chick’s deal? The way you answer that is by relying upon your general observation skills and social coordination to profile the chick.
Your ultimate goal in all this is to find out as much information about the chick as fast as possible (putting together CliffsNotes) so that you can make a reasonable assumption about her level of downness (If you want to get laid).
Once you have an idea of what her deal is and a decent understanding of her level of downness, you know how much effort you will need to put in to trying to bang her (or if you even have a chance at all).
*** Ideally, it won’t take much effort.
This is a big reason why I got the people skills series out of the way first. It is really not possible to screen without a foundation of solid people skills and social savviness. It’s just not… You need to have the basic ability to read people so that you can accurately read women and know what to do.
Screening is an important component to the whole go out and get laid thing… Without it, getting laid is pretty much numbers game and luck. When you do implement screening into your arsenal, going out to get laid becomes a much more efficient process. You could even go so far as to say that it becomes less about the numbers game.
Since we are focusing on finding out what a chick’s deal is, let’s briefly get into DEAL BREAKERS (odds are not in your favor) and DEAL MAKERS (odds are in your favor). I’ll also illustrate the mindset that the typical aspiring PUA would have versus what a sharp screener would have.
*** Also, one thing that definitely needs to be clarified is the fact that MOST CHICKS ARE NOT DOWN. Most chicks are not sexually available to the extent that they are good to go right then and then. That’s just not how the world works. Traditional PUA’s never got this and I’m not sure if they ever will. But usually it’s one thing or another with chicks so DEAL BREAKERS are usually made apparent early on.
What is a deal breaker? It’s usually bad news… It’s a piece of information that indicates (usually clearly) that sex is not going to happen soon (if at all). You want to find these out early on when you are profiling a chick. So when you go to ask yourself, “What is this chick’s deal?”…. if something on this list happens to come up, you should probably classify the chick as not DTF and move on (or grab the # and hit her up…. Depends on your goal and how down she really is). *** Any sign of these usually shifts the odds OUT OF YOUR FAVOR:
She clearly indicates she is not interested.
She is in a committed relationship.
Her bf/fiancé/husband is with her.
She is with a large group of friends.
She is with a group of friends that is run by the “mom” of the group.
She just got out of a relationship and is in “I hate men” mode.
She is completely sober.
She is very religious.
She is Latina or Black.
She is weirded out by any verbal/physical flirting.
She has kids/is a single mother.
She is there with her family.
She has to get up early in the morning to do something.
She comes across as shy/timid.
She legitimately is “not that kind of girl.”
She herself is unable to flow in conversation (socially awkward)…
And the list goes on. There’s really a whole bunch of reasons why a chick would not be down or available. Those were a few that came to mind. The point is there’s nothing you can really do. Alcohol might help you grease the wheels a little bit but I wouldn’t try to rely on it too much. When a legitimate indicator of lack of downness comes up, it’s in your best interest to recognize it and move on.
Typical PUA: The aspiring PUA who spends hours watching YouTube vids and writing posts on pick-up forums typically does not understand this. If one of those things on that list (or any other legitimate deal breaker) comes up, he does what he has been brainwashed into believing. He’ll do everything in his power to plow and “play to win.” He might think that he’s doing an awesome job of “overcoming shit tests” by staying in set no matter what. But in reality he is just wasting time and energy. He’s most likely annoying people and just making himself seem more creepy/weird. Ultimately, he is a time waster… he wastes a lot of time talking to/trying to pull chicks that it’s just not going to happen with. Depending on the situation and how much of a pest he really is, a confrontation of some sort is very possible.
*** Getting knocked out, getting kicked out of the club, getting arrested/spending time in jail…. While those are all extreme possibilities, I have personally seen them played out (within the last year) so you can’t tell me that nothing bad can happen. Something bad can and probably will happen if you don’t use common sense and push it too far.
Screener: The screener (guy who goes out and screens chicks) takes a different approach. If one of the things in the list comes up (or something similar) he uses common sense. He already has a foundation of good people skills. He can tell if the chick is lying. If that’s the case, he might try to grease the wheels a little bit to see what happens. If there is a legitimate deal breaker at play, meaning the chances of her being DTF are slim, he will adjust accordingly. If she is not DTF right then and there (but there’s a chance she might be eventually), he’ll grab the number and try to text/call to eventually hang out. If she’s not DTF (and can tell that she never will be) the conversation ends right there. He immediately leaves and tries to find a chick that shows potential signs of being DTF or high up on the downness scale. He’s on the lookout for Deal Makers… So when he goes to ask himself the question “What is this chick’s deal?”… He’s searching for chicks where the answer will be “this chick is out to get some” or “I got a decent shot at getting this chick.”
A deal maker is any obvious indicator that sex can be a possibility. They usually indicate that a chick is DTF or at least open to the idea if the right guy comes along. By following the self-improvement advice on this site (and other legitimate sources like SBS), you can increase your chances (odds) of being that right guy. When you go out to clubs/bars that is what you are looking for. As a screener, you want to run into these situation/circumstances. Bottom line, unlike the majority of chicks who are out, these chicks don’t necessarily have a padlock on their vagina. Chicks in these situations/circumstances might be open to the idea of sex. Either way they are worth paying at least a little bit more attention to and making sure 100% that you know what the deal is before you leave. If you are a cool, normal dude, who looks good, and has some flavor to him… these chicks can be money time for you. If something on this list comes up, the odd shift more IN YOUR FAVOR. Here we go…
She clearly indicates that she IS INTERESTED (verbal and physical).
She asks “What are you up to later?”
She cold approaches YOU.
She’s had a few drinks and is very flirty.
She is there by herself (or with 1 girlfriend).
She’s from out of town (visiting for the weekend).
She is single.
She is in a relationship but seems like the type of chick who will cheat.
She just got out of a relationship and is in “I need to get laid” mode.
She has a tongue ring.
She’s a white girl in college party mode.
She’s a hot white girl with some ass/tits and a bit of a ratchet vibe.
She doesn’t object to you getting a little physical.
She “accidentally” grabs your ass or touches your piece.
She asks if you have any drugs.
She says you are handsome, sexy, hot, or “her type.”
She says you remind her of an ex.
She asks where you live.
She shows genuine curiosity by asking you questions.
She clearly indicates that she doesn’t have anything to do the next day.
Again, those are just a few that came to mind from my own experiences over the years. Feel free to add your own in the comments. But as hardcore screeners on the SBS Team, we live for that. We don’t want to try and hit on chicks that went out with a pack of 9 friends (guys and girls) and waste precious time trying to “game” her, plow, and pray that we can make something happen. We want to use our foundation of good people skills to look for potential slam dunks. We want to run into the hot chick with a naughty tongue ring waiting for a drink by herself at the bar. We want to run into the chick that just broke up with a needy, paranoid boyfriend. We want to run into the chick by herself at the mall an hour before closing who doesn’t have any plans and is open to getting a drink somewhere right then and there. We want to run into 2 single chicks that are out having a “girls’ night out.” That’s money time baby. Focusing on chicks like that is called playing with the odds in your favor.
That’s what we are about (our approach toward improving life in general)…. Doing everything we can to play with the odds in our favor. We don’t want to leave everything up to chance (if we can help it). We want control. We want to dictate the outcome.
Typical PUA: A couple things could happen with the aspiring PUA. If he acts like a dancing monkey, there’s a very real chance that he can turn off those chicks that were DTF. He can miss a lot of slam dunks because of his refusal to focus on the stuff that matters and just be a normal dude who can flow in conversation. On the other end, he could very well get that chick. In that case, he attributes it to his super-duper “game” when in reality, there really wasn’t any skill involved. He just happened to talk to the right chick at the right time. The chick was DTF and he was able to not mess it up. That’s why I laugh when I see or read about dudes and how their “game was on” when they pulled some drunk chick home after hammering it out for hours. Despite what they may claim, nothing special happened. In most cases, they simply spam approached 40-50 chicks and met one who was drunk/down enough.
Screener: The screener doesn’t spam approach. In fact, you might say that he barely approaches because he approaches slam dunks (or perceived slam dunks). He’s takes a little bit extra time to see what’s really going. He sees a chick talking with some good looking dude. He waits a little bit longer before he approaches. Eventually, he figures out (using common sense) that they are a couple, so he doesn’t approach. He moves on. He doesn’t waste his time because he knows she is unavailable. Whereas the PUA just goes in right away and creates an awkward situation/potential conflict. He sees a white chick with a phat ass taking a shot with her girlfriend. He sees that it’s just them. He goes in and talks to that chick to see what her deal is. She is very flirty and touchy. She also keeps whispering to her gf…. What is this chick’s deal? Common sense tells him he has a decent shot at tappin that.
Why Should You Become a Screener?
1) Time is precious… You do not have the time to waste trying to hit on chicks that you don’t have a chance with. Over time, you will actually learn to hit on less chicks and become more about efficiency.
2) You need a game plan… especially when it comes to trying to bang chicks.
3) Screening will make you a selector versus some guy going up to chicks begging for scraps.
4) There is naturally less pressure when you realize that not all chicks are available.
5) Trying to get laid shouldn’t take “a lot of work.” That work should be put into yourself… making yourself the most attractive/best version of yourself possible. That’s where the real work lies. Through screening, getting laid becomes a much more focused activity. It’s becomes something you do when you are bored/horny, not something you dedicate your entire life to out of desperation.
6) Over time, you will realize that becoming better (improving the stuff that matters) is the only answer. Build the best body. Look your best. Wear cool clothes. Develop a cool personally/give off the vibe of a dude who “get’s it.” Just get your life together.
*** The way to get the odds in your favor is to become the best possible version of yourself. Ideally, those chicks that are high up on the downness scale… you want to get to the point where you’re sitting dead red. In other words, you come across a chick who is absolutely single/DTF, you’re not gonna mess it up. You’re gonna knock it out the park. Those chicks that are on the fence, you will be able to sway in your favor by greasing the wheels. Depending on how much you actually bring to the table, you might even have a chance at getting some chicks who are not available. Again, it all comes down to what you are bringing to the table. The more attractive/cool you are perceived to be… the greater you dating potential becomes.
How Do You Become a Screener?
The first thing I would suggest is that you really have to get out of the PUA mindset of just going for every chick you see thinking that there’s a chance at “gaming” any chick into the bedroom. It can’t happen. It won’t happen. Also, I would absolutely make it a priority to continually work on your foundation of good general people skills. Work on becoming an observer… someone who can accurately look at an individual or social situation and have an idea of what is going on. Take a second to observe and figure out “What’s the deal?”
It’s important to be able to do that, to have that basic understanding, so that you can accurately answer the only question that matters when it comes to getting laid…
What is this chick’s deal?
Hopefully, it’s becoming very clear why those good people skills that I keep talking about are so important… Can’t really become a skilled screener of women without first becoming a general profiler of PEOPLE first. And you can’t play this game efficiently without SCREENING.
As far as where the series will go from here, the next 2 parts will focus a lot more on how to actually screen chicks. I’m thinking those parts will focus on verbal/conversational screening and physical screening.
Ok fellas that’s it for now. Sonny’s Guide to Screening is well under way… Be sure to check out the YouTube Channel and Twitter. Spread the word on SBS… Time for people to start rollin’ with the winners.