What do women want?

It’s a timeless question that all men have asked themselves.

So what do women want? The answer: Everything… and more of it.

Remember that and you will never find yourself firing off knuckle children all by yourself ever again.

But in all seriousness, “What do women want?” is a shitty question.

It’s a shitty question because there is no definite answer.

We can only guess that the correct answer revolves around the media’s go to answers such as “everything” or “the world.”

A better question is: What do women value?

That’s the real question and that is what this article is really about.

It’s about giving you the answers that you need to attain the dating life that you want.

I want you to use this information to dominate.

This is reality. This is what chicks (westernized chicks at least) really want. This is what they value.

There’s no other way around it.

Abide by this list and enjoy fresh puss on a regular basis.

You will dominate.

Ignore this list and get used to enduring countless lonely nights.

The choice is yours…

This article goes far beyond the standard LOOKS MONEY STATUS go to answer.

Is that what women want? Is that what women value? Of course.

But I’m getting more specific than that. And in the process, I’m setting a new standard.

Some have claimed that my best work was my original dating articles on how to get girls.

Read Part I.

Read Part II.

Consider this Part III. Better yet, consider this an even more elaborate, higher understanding of the young and single female psyche.

Not only will this article break down value to its smallest form, you will also learn how to improve and manage your value.

We all have a unique personal brand. We all have certain strengths. We all have certain weaknesses.

Highlighting your strengths is the easy part. But hiding or should I say managing your weaknesses is where the real challenge lies.

You will learn that as well.

Save this article fellas.

This is an important piece for those who want to win in the modernized world of Western dating.

Is this you? If so then keep on reading.

A Quick Note on Value: The concept of value has evolved over time. In caveman times, value was simply based upon “might makes right.” The biggest baddest motherfuckers were naturally the most successful hunters and gathers. Women depended upon them for survival. The answer to “What do women want?” was very simple.

They wanted a big bad motherfucker who could kill wild beasts for food and protect them.

Today, that deep seeded desire for a big, strong manly man still exists. Women are biologically hard wired to respond to that type of man. However, civilization has evolved and with that so has the answer to the timeless question: What do women want?

Thus, the concept of value has evolved and is a little more complex now.

That’s what this article explains.

Here we go.

Look Your Best. Be Happy!

Want do women want? They want you to look your best and be happy!

Want do women want? They want you to look your best and be happy!

Everyone judges a book by its cover, especially women.

How you look is the single most important factor that women use to screen guys in or out in the short term. In the long term, financial standing matters as well.

Read more on how women initially screen you.

This should make sense.

When people say generic cookie cutter advice like, “a woman decides whether or not she’s going to sleep with a guy within the first thirty seconds”, they aren’t bullshitting.

That’s quite accurate.

So what do women want from a looks standpoint?

These are the 3 universal physical traits that women desire in men: TALL STRONG HANDSOME

That’s the golden standard.

In reality, that’s your GOLDEN TICKET.

If you are tall, strong, and handsome (along with good communication skills), you will have a great sex life.

In fact, you can have just that going for you.

You can be a loser. You can be broke. You can be unemployed. You can live with your parents.

All of that is irrelevant.

Chicks will want to fuck you. Actually keeping them around is a different story.

If a guy possesses those three traits, he is at a significant advantage.

Possessing those traits breeds an unshakeable confidence that you cannot fake.

Real will always trump fake it till you make it.

Read more on developing genuine confidence.

Let’s break down these three physical traits.

Height is Relative (Tall = Taller Than Her)

Which is more important to women, height or muscle?

Again, refer back to my original question and answer.

What do women want? Everything.

When most chicks think about their “dream guy”, it’s usually a tall guy with muscles.

So they both matter.

However, one point I would like to make is that a height issue is not as easily rectifiable as a muscle issue.

It is far easier for a guy to get jacked than it is for a guy to get tall.

Any guy can build muscle with the proper diet, training routine, and hormonal optimization.

You can’t teach height.

As far as what’s a good height, it really depends on the situation. Really, it depends on the girl.

Ideally, women date men who they can look up to, wrap their arms around, and kiss.

This is what they are generally comfortable with because they are the more submissive sex. It’s in their biology.

Feminists can kick, scream and protest all they want… but they cannot change biology.

They can’t fight evolution.

They want to be protected. They want to be led by a man that they can look up to.

Women also care about their brand (how they look) wherever they go. They are self-conscious and want to fit in.

No chick wants to feel self-conscious wearing high heels and towering over her man.

Who they date is a reflection of them.

Being with a man that they can physically look up to offers a sense of security.

Ideally, men date women who are shorter than them.

This is what we are generally comfortable with because we are the more dominant sex. It’s in our biology.

We feel powerful when we stare down in to the eyes of our woman.

We want to lead and protect (our own woman).

We also care about our brand (how we look) wherever we go. We are self-conscious and want to fit in.

We don’t want walk with our women in high heels looking fine and be considerably shorter.

Every dude has experienced a deep seeded fear of another nigga coming in and scooping up their chick.

Being the “short guy” can magnify this.

It’s often an irrational fear but a fear nonetheless.

Who we date is a reflection of us.

Being with a woman who is shorter than us gives a sense of security.

Height is relative.
You only really have to be a few inches taller than the chick (including when she’s in heels) for her to look up you.

For reference, my best friend from high school is 5’7”. He dates hot chicks.

All of his girlfriends have been in the 5’0” to 5’3” range. He knows the rules and plays the game accordingly.

Obviously, being tall is the best game plan.

Here is some reference for you to go by (confirmed by guys and girls I asked):

Short- anything less than 5’9”
Normal- 5’10” to 6’0”
Tall- 6’1” and up

These are pretty universal.

What do you do if height is a weakness?

1. You could wear shoe lifts (the kinds that go inside the shoe). This could add an inch or 2. The built in ones on the outside look ridiculous. Avoid those.

2. Focus on dating shorter girls. Height is a dealer breaker for a lot of girls. And in those instance where it’s not a complete deal breaker, it’s often a notch against you. Why play against the odds? Why put yourself in a situation where you could potentially be self-conscious (or even paranoid) around your chick?

Muscles Marinara will always be on the menu.

Women like muscles.

Women value muscles because having a body illustrates power and physical strength.

It is also indicative of good genetics and good health.

Having muscles also shows that you take care of yourself and clearly have self-worth.

Having a good body matters.

Male and female attraction is inherently the same in that we both lust after physically attractive physiques.

When is the last time you fantasized about a fat chick?

Exactly.

The same concept applies.

How often do you think chicks fantasize and daydream about guys who don’t work out?

Not often.

For reference, you do not have to go full on bodybuilder mode. Most chicks don’t like that bloated roided-out look.

Do your best to build as much muscle as you can with relatively low body fat (naturally at first).

What do you do if you don’t have any muscle?

1. Make the commitment to build your body.

2. Go to the gym 5-6 times a week.

3. Eat healthy and get plenty of rest.

4. Continue forever.

This is not optional.

How important is your face?

Your face is the most important element of your looks.

It’s the first thing chicks see.

This is mostly based on genetics.

You can’t change bone structure although wearing a mouth guard during training can help accentuate the jawline and strengthen the jaw muscles.

So for better or worse, you’re pretty much stuck with what you got.

So what can you do to maximize your facial appeal?

1. Maintain low levels of body fat. Your face looks better when you are in shape. This is true for everyone.

2. Wear a mouth guard when you lift weights. I use this one.

3. Chew gum.

4. Eat a healthy diet with lots of greens (greens make the skin glow).

5. Get plenty of rest (Lack of sleep ages you).

6. Avoid alcohol and drugs (Alcohol and drugs age you).

7. Think positive thoughts and smile more (This gives you a positive, friendly vibe and makes you pleasant to be around).

8. Find your “look” for facial hair.

Do the clothes make the man?

It’s difficult to give fashion advice because there are so many “looks” that are in today.

I view fashion in ranges.

Every individual has at least one go to look that works for them.

Furthermore, every individual has a range of looks that they could “get away with” or make work for them.

A man should have many looks in his arsenal.

Appropriate fashion truly depends on the individual.

Strength By Sonny does not have a forum but we do have a Private Group that will gladly give feedback on all your fashion questions. We will tell you if a certain look “works” for you.

Learn more about the private group.

I will say this:

1. When deciding what to wear, masculinity should always be the default. That means no skinny jeans, no faggy v-necks, and no vests.
2. Cheap is never “in”. Leave the dog tags and PUA accessories for the losers. Gold is always in.

Money is status and status is money.

What do women want? They want a guy who "has his shit together."

What do women want? They want a guy who “has his shit together.”

Women want a self-sufficient man. Self-sufficiency is one of the pillars of masculinity.

Money enables this.

So does money matter?

Of course it matters.

Money is a woman. She always talks and she never sleeps.

I hate it when I hear dudes say “he’s only got her because he’s got money.”

Yea numb nuts. That’s your que to go out and make your own money so that you have a shot at those chicks.

Here’s the truth about money and women.

It always matters.

The cut off can often be quite abrupt but it’s very predictable.

Let me explain.

Money does not matter as much up until your first 2 years in college.

Once chicks reach Junior year of college (the half way mark), they start to slow down and look for a “stable” guy.

STABLE = MONEY
“I want a stable guy” = “I want a guy with money.”
“I want a guy who has his shit together” = “I want a guy with money.”

Once they hit the latter half of their college careers, the clock starts ticking to lock down a stable guy who has his shit together.

They start to scope out guys that they perceive to have a high income earning potential after college.

Business/Pre-med/Pre-law/Engineering students suddenly become high demand.

Once they are out of college, money really matters.

In fact, it’s often a deal breaker.

But chicks don’t outright ask you if you have money. So how can they tell whether or not a guy “has his shit together”?

She asks certain questions to assess a man’s wealth.

“What kind of car do you drive?”

The kind of car you drive is a status indicator.

People with money tend to drive the nice cars that people without money cannot afford.

So does the car you drive matter?

This relates to my previous point made on money.

It does not matter as much when you are younger.

It certainly helps when you are in high school and college. But it’s not a deal breaker.

It matters even more so once you enter “the real world.”

Again, chicks are very self-conscious. They don’t want to be seen driving around with a guy in a beat up, piece of shit car.

This will reflect poorly on them.

Some of you might be asking, “Do you need a car?”

It depends on where you live.

I only have experience living in the United States.

So here are my thoughts.

Having a car does not matter as much for younger guys living in cities with a reliable metro such as Washington DC or New York City. You can get away with taking the subway.

But let’s be honest. It still matters.

And it absolutely matters in other cities in the US.

You absolutely need a car in Los Angeles and Miami.

A car enables the freedom to come and goes as you please whenever you want.

Back in high school, it was big deal when a chick was the first amongst her group of friends to date a guy with his own car.

Chicks feel safe and secure when they date a guy who has his own wheels.

What do you do if you don’t have your own car?

If you don’t have your own car, my advice is simple.

Rely on public transportation and rides from friends for now.

But you should be saving up money for some wheels.

Don’t break the bank and lease a car you cannot afford.

If you are young or old (and lack funds), do the financially feasible thing and buy a for cash car.

Any car is better than no car.

“Where do you live?”

Your living situation matters.

Everything from where you live to who you live with to what your place looks like matters.

Your living situation tells chicks about your finances.

They are the true experts at assessing a man’s value.

As a result, they already know the nice parts of town. When they meet a dude who lives there, they assume he has money.

Are you this guy?

When they meet a dude who has his own place, they assume he is independent and self-sufficient.

Are you this guy?

You must do everything you can to get you own place.

In high school (and maybe even college), it does not matter as much.

Living with your parents is acceptable then. Though it’s still not ideal.

Once you hit around 22-23 or are no longer in school (whichever comes first), it’s no longer acceptable to most chicks for you to still be living with your parents.

It sounds harsh but it’s the truth.

If you do not have your own place once you are out of school you are at a significant disadvantage and chicks will more than likely not even give you a chance.

Look on Tinder (and all the other online dating websites) for confirmation of this.

How often do you see a chick put these phrases in her profile?

“Must have own place. Must have own car. Must have job.”

You see that all the time.

The truth is, if you are still living with your parents, chicks will view you as a kid.

In all fairness, you are still a kid because you have yet to leave the nest.

Leaving the nest is a necessary step in your journey as a man.

What do you do if your living situation is a weakness?

Why is your living situation a weakness?

If you live in a shitty part of town, you must increase your income so that you can move in to a nicer place in a nicer part of town.

If you still live with your parents, the player life is not for you. More times than not, logistics simply do not permit it.

The only exception is if you live in a big house and no one is home.

If this is not you, then get yourself a girlfriend.

The rest of your energy and efforts must be focused on saving up money and moving out of your parents’ house.

It’s as simple as that.

“What do you do for a living?”

This question comes up within the first few minutes of every interaction between a guy and girl.

In college, the equivalent is: “What are you studying?”

There are no exceptions. This always comes up.

This is also another indicator of fake infield videos I forgot to mention.

If the chick does not ask some variation of “What do you do?” it’s a fake video with an actress.

Guaranteed.

The reason for this is because this question is unavoidable upon initial interaction, unless she is truly not interested and wants the guy to stop talking to her.

Money matters and this is the most direct (and socially acceptable way) for a chick to ask how much money a guy has or makes.

A chick has to know who she is dealing with in order to determine if he has potential.

Women ask this question because it enables them to make a quick estimate of a guy’s worth.

Thus, this question is unavoidable in real life.

There are many good answers to this question.

There are many bad answers to this question.

Good answers will result in her asking more questions.

Bad answers will be met with a courtesy: “Oh… okay.”

What is your initial reaction when a chick asks you this question?

Do you get nervous and try to come up with ways to bullshit your answer?

Do you secretly dread this question?

If that’s the case then, deep down you know the answer.

You know you are not good enough for her.

The answer is to become good enough.

Bridge the gap between maximizing your income and doing what you love.

Then you will be eager to answer that question.

“Perceived Popularity” is a better term than “Status”.

What do women want? Think in terms of "popularity".

What do women want? Think in terms of “popularity”.

I like the term popularity instead of status because that’s the term we all grew up with.

When we are in school, no one uses the term “status” to define where someone ranks in the social hierarchy.

It’s all about “popularity.”

“He’s one of the popular kids.”

“He’s popular.”

These phrases should sound familiar.

So for our discussion we are going to stick with this term, “popular.”

Does that make sense? Good.

This is the definition of popularity.

Popularity is the state or condition of being liked, admired, or supported by many people.
Popularity is another way of saying familiarity.

So how do women assess popularity?

They use the eye test and compare you to the general public.

What is your relative status (there’s that word again) in the eyes of the general public.

How do others react to you? How do they treat you?

Do strangers acknowledge your existence?

Do they treat you with respect?

Do they have an inclusive attitude toward you?

Are they open and comfortable making small talk and having conversations with you?

These things matter and it’s the little things like this that chicks pay attention to.

How do you get respect from others?

You get respect by giving respect… to YOURSELF.

Build yourself into someone worthy of respect and you will be treated as such.

They look to see who your friends are.

Your friends are a reflection of you.

This is pretty mainstream advice.

“Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Cool friends indicate that you are cool.

Loser friends indicate that you are a loser.

No friends indicate that you are a social outcast (and a loser).

“Cool” is not difficult to achieve.

“Cool” does not mean you and your crew have to be out getting tables at the hottest club every weekend.

You do not have to be Fonzie.

Every single one of you has the potential to be cool.

Most chicks are pretty accepting as to what they classify as cool, once they get to know you.

In my years of experience, chicks will classify a guy as “cool” if he (and his friends) satisfy the following requirements:

1. He and his friends have a positive, upbeat attitude.

2. He and his friends are sociable and outgoing.

3. He and his friends are comfortable in their own skin.

That’s it.

If you (and your friends) do that, you will always be considered cool.

Hookups and “connections” indicate popularity.

This is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time from my favorite movie, Goodfellas.

This is an example (extreme) of popularity because in this scene you see a young man with tons of hookups and connections.

It’s also quite evident that he has powerful friends.

Read more on how to get powerful friends.

In a way, hookups and connections are yet another way that a woman compares you to the general public.

When you have hookups or “connections”, it shows that people have enough respect for you that they are willing to help you out.

RESPECT IS EVERYTHING.

On top of that, it also shows that you are likeable.

This is one of my strengths. It’s also a strength of every single one of my male role models and friends I grew up with.

People think you need to be a big baller like Henry Hill to display your popularity to women. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Any one of you can attain more hookups and “connections” (and reap the benefits of them).

Here is my insight on how to get more hookups and “connections”:

1. You must put yourself out there. You must network.

You must get out the confines of your room and step in to the real world. Spend as much time in public as possible.

Find out where the hot spots are and mingle.

You never know who you will meet.

2. Create your own reality. Become a regular at 2-3 spots. Make those your “go to spots”.

Your go to spots can be any type of venue.

Deli. Restaurant. Lounge. Bar. Nightclub. Pool Party. It does not matter.

Ideally, you want to get 2-3 spots where you feel at home.
You know everyone. Everyone knows you. Everyone likes you.

They hook you up. They comp you (tables, daybeds, cabanas, etc.). They give you free drinks. They give you free entry or line cut. Whatever the case may be, “on the house” and “special treatment” are the norm for you in these places.

You’re essentially one of them.

This is where you have popularity. More importantly, this is where you are comfortable.

This is where you can essentially create your Goodfellas scene.

This is the perfect environment to bring a chick, especially on a first date.

Watch this video where I talk about where to bring a chick on a first date.

It is here where you will feel most comfortable, confident, and capable of making a good first impression.

Another perk is that since you are a regular at these places, the workers will oftentimes do everything they can to edify you. They will talk a big game for you and try to “wing” you.

At my go to restaurant here in Vegas, everyone knows me. I’ve brought many chicks there. Aside from one minor slip up, no one has ever spilled the beans for me.

They all act like it’s the first time I’ve brought a chick there.

My go to waiter, Niko, always talks a big game for me.

“He’s a really great guy you’re gonna love him.”

“This guy is the best!”

It’s always good to have someone in your corner saying that kind of stuff, especially in front of women.

This validates her decision to hang out with you in the first place. Her first impression is that she is with a winner.

Don’t go crazy with this. The majority of your time should not be spent on trying to adjust your life toward women.

Above all these are your places.

You should pick these places because you like them. You can hang out at these places all by yourself because you feel comfortable.
THIS IS YOUR WORLD.

When the time comes, you decide whether a not a chick is worthy of being brought in to your world.

I do not recommend you pick large venues such as packed nightclubs.

These are not very intimate. And the more people there are, the greater the chances are of something fucking up your shit.

Your places should be relatively low key and intimate.

You want to take a chick to a place where all of her attention will be focused on you.

How do you find (and solidify) your go to places?

Do your research in your city.

Focus on low key places with good food and drinks.

Scope these places out by yourself first.

Do this during their slow hours because it’s harder to network with the workers if the place is packed out.

Introduce yourself to 3-4 of the workers and engage in small talk.

Read more on the importance of small talk.

Tell them a little about yourself. Ask a little about them.

Thank them and let them know that you are going to be a regular there.

Be sure to leave them a nice tip.

They will remember you and be more eager to help you out.

This is especially handy for when you bring a chick there that you are trying to seal the deal with.

Social media is the new realm of popularity.

Within the last 10-12 years a new realm has opened up for those seeking “friends” and popularity.

This new realm is social media.

Social media is a game changer because it provides people with yet another opportunity to gain popularity (status).

This is huge for guys who want to increase their value in the eyes of women.

With social media, it’s no longer the case where your only opportunity to showcase value is in the physical presence of a chick.

Now, whatever value you have can be showcased 24/7 through your online presence.

Sonny’s Tips and Insight on Social Media

Social media is a weakness for me.

I’ve always hated it and think it’s stupid.

It’s just another opportunity for an already weak generation to fuel their desire for validation through friends, followers, and likes.

From a dating standpoint, I think social media is a terrible idea.

It’s terrible because once you tell a chick your Facebook or Instagram.

You are giving her a means by which potentially to screen you out.
Once she finds you on social media, you become an open book.
She sees everything.

She sees the good but secretly she’s looking for the dirt.

Everyone posts everything about their lives online these days, guys included.

In reality, social media gives women an opportunity to completely assess your value as a man very early in the game.

If they don’t like what they see online, they will cut off all contact with you before you even have a chance to get to know each other.

I don’t know about you but to me that just shows that old school romance is out the door.

You need to be a little bit of a closed book.
There needs to be a little bit of mystery to you where the chick takes the time to get to know you.
Where there is mystery, there is attraction and a demand to learn more.

I think this way because I’m an old soul.

When girls ask me for my Facebook or Instagram, I tell them “I’m not on social media.”

They usually commend me for this and tell me how great it is and that I’m “so much different than other guys.”

They don’t care as much because the first point in the article applies.

I don’t recommend this to most guys.

Most guys should have some sort of social media presence.

Facebook and Instagram are the most popular ones.

Just don’t give that information too early.

I think the best course of action is to wait until after you have slept with the chick a couple of times.
By that time, it will be abundantly clear that she really likes you. A weak social media presence is not going to be a deal breaker.

And if it is, let her walk. She’s too stupid to deserve you anyway.

In the meantime, keep building up your Facebook and Instagram.

The bigger the better because woman equate large, active social media followings with value.

The more friends and followers you have, the better.

The more likes you get per post, the better.

As far as pictures are concerned, here are my Do’s and Don’ts”

Do:

– put up pictures with you and the people you spend time with

– put up pictures of your travels

– put up pictures of you engaging in fun, exciting activities

Don’t:

– put up endless selfies

– put up pictures showing a boring lifestyle

– put up pictures where you are constantly trying to “flex” on everyone

Women want a man with confidence.

What do women want? Confidence... Confidence of body and confidence of mind.

What do women want? Confidence… Confidence of body and confidence of mind.

Again, this is cliché advice but it’s also very true.

Confidence will always be sexy. And it will never go out of style.

Women love confidence because it makes them feel safe and secure.

Nothing dries up the pussy more than an unconfident man who forces the woman to fulfill the man’s role.

Woman assess a man’s confidence on 2 fronts and they are the following.

1. Above all else, a man should be confident in his body.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.

One of the biggest sources of confidence for a man is his ability to use his hands.

Conversely, the shear lack of skills that the average guy can perform with his hands is one of the most common causes of a lack of confidence.

Developing greater confidence in your hands is very simple.

Use your hands in a more physical manner on a day to day basis.

Typing on your laptop and smartphone DO NOT COUNT.

Do not ask people for help. Do it yourself.

Lift weights.

Cook your own food.

Do your own laundry.

Iron your own clothes.

Clean your own house or apartment.

Fix your own home appliances.

Change your own oil.

Put air in your own tires.

There is an endless list of things you can use your hands for.

Believe it or not, the number one area where confidence in your hands and body will immediately payoff is in the bedroom.

Interestingly enough, do you want to know the number one cause of sexual anxiety in men?

It’s not dick size or even sexual performance, although those are up there.

No.

It’s the pussy itself.

Many men are intimidated by the pussy.

Many of you have admitted this to me during our programs and even more of you have emailed me about this.

So I know the problem is real.

Any fool can stick his dick inside a chick.

But how do set yourself apart from the pack?

You do it by being a dominant, multidimensional beast in the bedroom.

That’s what separates the amateurs from pros.

That’s the difference between “I’m never seeing this guy again” and “I’m in love with this guy.”

The amateur sticks his weiner in a chick, flops around on top of her for a few minutes, and falls asleep after busting.

The pro uses his fingers, tongue, and words to hot wire a chick’s pussy and make her cum before he even puts it in.

Be confident.

Don’t overthink things.

Just act.

2. A man should be confident in his demeanor.

Women look for guidance.

Women hesitate to make decisions.

Women are the more emotional sex.

Women do not want another girlfriend. They want a man.

That’s where you come in.

Be a leader.

Make decisions and stick with them.

Be cool, calm, and collected.

Don’t overreact and get emotional.

Never worry.

ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION.

Communication is key.

What do women want? They want a guy who is a multi-dimensional communicator.

What do women want? They want a guy who is a multi-dimensional communicator.

Do you know the number one reason why relationships fall apart?

In other words, why do women dump men?

There are many reasons but the same ones tend to pop up time and time again.

“We grew apart.”

“He doesn’t listen.”

“He doesn’t know how to communicate.”

Bullshit or not, it’s clear that communication is an essential part of any relationship, long-term and short-term alike.

In the short-term, communication is built upon initial attraction and initial chemistry.

Neither of you really know who you are dealing with.

You don’t really know her.

And she doesn’t really know you… especially if you take my advice on social media.

So how does the magic happen? What makes sparks fly?

Initial attraction is the most basic form of communication between a guy and a girl.

You have a mutual understanding.

You think she’s attractive. She thinks you’re attractive.

The more you communicate, the more apparent this becomes.

This is how initial chemistry develops and eventually evolves in to a full on relationship.

How do you improve your communication skills with women?

The way you improve your communication skills with women is by improving your communication skills with people in general.

I wrote an entire series on how to become good with people.

Read it.

How to Become Good With People: Part I

How to Become Good With People: Part II

How to Become Good With People: Part III

How to Become Good With People: Part IV

How to Become Good With People: Part V

ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL.

You need to accept the fact that women want to be treated like women… not goddesses or princess that you worship.

You’re the man. She’s the woman. All of your communication should abide by this dynamic.

Always show your sense of humor as well.

Notice how chicks always say they like a guy with a sense of humor.

That does not mean be a clown or a monkey whose sole purpose is to entertain women.

But speak your mind. Don’t hold back.

Open up and show your funny side.

Crack jokes. Tell funny stories.

If you are unable to crack jokes and tell funny stories, it means you are not there yet.

You need to interact with more people. You need to watch more funny movies and television shows.

Check out how I make chicks laugh.

A good personality and a good sense of humor is yet another way to increase your odds of retention.

Read more on how to keep chicks around.

What do women want? (Concluding Thoughts)

What do women want? You know the answer. Now go DOMINATE.

What do women want? You know the answer. Now go DOMINATE.

So what do women want? Jesus fucking Christ I can barely think now.

But it felt good to create this piece.

It needed to be said.

Women are a business. And the way you win big is by offering value.
What do you bring to the table?

This list is as simple (and specific) as I could make it.

Building a great dating life is very simple.

The reason why the general PUA viewing audience has little to no success with women is because they hit very few (if any) of the points on this list.

That’s what it boils down to.

Collectively, it is lonely niche and their inability (or in some cases unwillingness) to abide by this is the reason for years wasted browsing forums searching for that magic answer.

Those whose lives most closely abide by this list will be never be lonely.

They will always be in high demand as there will always be an endless supply of eager chicks waiting for “that guy” to frost them.

Those whose lives do not closely mirror this list will have a more difficult time in getting a lot of chicks (if any).

That’s as straightforward as it gets.

I’m not here to sugarcoat things.

While I love motivating people and making them feel good about themselves, it’s not my job.

My job is not to give you false hope and misguide you in to thinking that any form of average is okay.

Below average is unacceptable.

Average is unacceptable.

Above average is unacceptable.

ELITE is the only thing on my mind and it should be the only thing on your mind as well.

I only want the very best for you. You should feel the same way.

My goal is not to help you succeed.

My goal is to provide the truth (explain reality) in order to force you to evolve so that you will DOMINATE.

So go fucking do it.

You are not alone. I’ll always be here.

I know what it takes to dominate and I know how to teach this on an individual level.

Stop playing the guessing game with this dating/PUA shit (or anything else).

Start approaching this game like a fucking strategist and get this shit handled once and for all.

The only option is working with THE BEST.

Contact me now to get to work.

Sonny

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51 Comments

  1. […] What do women want? (The 2016 Answer) […]

  2. Enea
    February 23, 2016 at 4:43 pm — Reply

    Bro this was AWESOME
    Probably the only thing that guys will ever need to succeed with women,and you were the first one to give us that information
    Every dude in the world needs to read this,will make sure to spread the word
    Fuck PUA monkeys

    • February 23, 2016 at 7:14 pm — Reply

      Thanks bro. Yea so much has been said on the subject that I really force myself to think outside the box.

  3. Dillon
    February 23, 2016 at 6:22 pm — Reply

    Great article Sonny. Common sense stuff but something we all need to be reminded.

    In your opinion, do women always ‘date up’ ? Is it not possible for a relationship to last if the man has less value than the woman?

    • February 23, 2016 at 7:18 pm — Reply

      Great question. Women date down as in they date guys with less value from a looks or even money standpoint.

      I’ve seen every type of guy with flaws (things we think of as hurting value in the dating game) date (and keep) high quality chicks.

      ex. short, fat, broke, fitting negative stereotype… Name one thing you think would hurt someone’s chances of getting high quality chicks, and I have seen examples of guys who “overcame” that.

      But those guys always have certain intangibles that keep them around.

      I will address this in a future piece.

      • Axxx
        February 23, 2016 at 7:47 pm — Reply

        I know guys like this too.

        The answer involves some form of lying / deceit / games upfront to get them hooked.

        Also they have a personality they aren’t afraid to show.

        Reminds me of Louis CK “Some women date down because the guy convinced her into that it was up” haha

        • February 23, 2016 at 7:49 pm — Reply

          Not necessarily. You don’t have to lie and I’ll prove that in my next article.

          More so, know how to “sweet talk.”

          Yea, more people should take dating advice from Louis CK. He’s on point.

  4. DAMN DANIEL!
    February 23, 2016 at 6:39 pm — Reply

    Wow Sonny! I think you just broke the internet. This is the best pua/red pill article I ever read. But how would this apply to someone like me seeing as I’m a freshman in college.

    • February 23, 2016 at 7:20 pm — Reply

      Thanks man. I wrote my heart out. I should do it every time…

  5. Kevin
    February 23, 2016 at 6:52 pm — Reply

    Hey sonny, great detailed again. It took me half an hour to read the article properly and digest it, I cannot imagine how long it took you to write it, and since it comes from experience this article shows years of experience going in it.

    I have read the first two parts, and I think that if a guy lands on this page, and only reads this article he will know exactly what to do, and then through the links he will know how to do it. This is the ultimate resource anyone would need.

    From my experience if I have learned anything is that people only read and get information overload they don’t do it. The simple nike slogan “Just do it” works here.

    Go out, just do it.
    Wanna have fun? just do it.
    want to talk to girls? just do it.

    But the first step is to do it, action, action, action! Most guys in the world have no idea of how things work, even the so called “naturals” have no idea what’s working for them but after I read your posts I know exactly why they’re getting laid, and getting girls.

    I have a very important resource at our hand, I hope to use it as soon as I get well.

    Thanks a lot for this article Sonny “the older brother you never had.” Arvado.

    • February 23, 2016 at 7:21 pm — Reply

      Thanks bro. That was my goal.

      Another title could have been: “Why Some Guys Have Better Dating Lives Than Others.”

      • Kevin
        February 26, 2016 at 10:36 am — Reply

        Sonny this article has become one of your most commented and I think most viewed too. Congrats.

        • February 27, 2016 at 2:47 am — Reply

          Thanks man! Thank God it’s out now and you guys are liking it!

  6. Conor
    February 23, 2016 at 7:27 pm — Reply

    Really good stuff, straight, to the point and honest. Definitely worth rereading.

    • February 23, 2016 at 7:48 pm — Reply

      Yea. Like I said, “save this article fellas.” 🙂

  7. Billy
    February 23, 2016 at 9:58 pm — Reply

    This is a cool write up Sonny! So which of these things is most important and what advice would you give a beginner?

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:25 am — Reply

      They’re all important but I would go with how you look.

      It’s the first thing chicks will notice.

      Other than looking your best, just live the best life you can and get as much experience you can.

      Interact with as many people as you can. Travel often. Listen to a lot of music. Watch a lot of movies. Party. LIVE IT UP!!!

  8. Teo
    February 24, 2016 at 1:47 am — Reply

    Great article! The 3 spots tips is awesome never thought of that and to include the goodfellas scene was cool, makes you see the advantage of doing it.

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:27 am — Reply

      Yea bro. Having a few spots on lockdown is so key. And it’s a huge help especially for guys in smaller towns/cities.

      Of course, it works in more populated cities very well too.

      My best friend from high school has an insane amount of hookups/connections in NYC/Long Island.

      That’s another thing to add. Try to get friends with hookups and connections too.

      Thanks bro!

  9. BradZ
    February 24, 2016 at 1:52 am — Reply

    Thanks for this article Sonny. It’s starting to make sense. I have some question if you dont mind. How fast do you usually try to close new girls? And how many nights a week do you go out? Thanks again for everything!

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:31 am — Reply

      I don’t really try to close girls right away.

      The default is always have small talk with them and “feel them out.”

      Look to see the eye contact I get. Listen to the tonality of her voice.

      Listen to verbal ques… “Do you have a gf?” “Do you have any plans later?” etc.

      I’ll put it to you this way. I know if a girl is down pretty fast and I will act accordingly 😉

      But I never rush or push. That make sense?

      As far as going out, it depends. In the summer I went out a lot. Now not so much. Summer it will probably pick up again with the pool parties and XS night swim going on.

  10. Yohan
    February 24, 2016 at 3:00 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny, Great article again. I’m finishing high school this year and have found my life lacking. Anyways, what do you think is the most important thing I should improve before going to college? I don’t want the same experience in college too. I really want to stand out. Is the “college is your new life. Nobody knows you so you change” real or some cliche advice; I lack social skills so any advice on that too and how I can address that? Ultimately can you list a set of priorities for me take on in the coming 6 months:
    1) I am skinny
    2) I lack social skills; I do have some average friends.
    3) No girlfriend, still a virgin
    4) Pop culture: I don’t follow Football or Basketball or fantasy football… and that stuff. I like soccer that why I have more african and Hispanic friends.
    Thanks, Sonny

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:40 am — Reply

      College is a fresh start but if you go in with the same mindset you’ll still feel the same. As a result, you’ll still end up at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

      As far as priorities, you need to develop social skills above all else.

      Watch a bunch of funny movies, tv shows, and stand up acts. Spend as little time alone as possible.

      Be out and about starting conversations with people and saying hello.

      Start listening to popular music such as rap.

  11. TJ
    February 24, 2016 at 3:57 am — Reply

    You previously wrote about race and how it impacts yours odds with chicks. How does this list apply to that?

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:51 am — Reply

      This list is universal.

      If you bring a lot of VALUE to the table (including great communication skills) you’re gonna get girls.

      This applies to all races. Chinese… Indian… Somalian… whatever.

      VALUE is universally attractive and respected.

      • BilzerianDreamer
        May 11, 2016 at 4:04 am — Reply

        One thing to add is that even with race, it is pretty objective. You said women like tall and handsome guys, well how many tall Asian and Indian men do you see compared to white men? My point exactly!

  12. Miguel
    February 24, 2016 at 4:05 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny! Great blog you got here. What’s your take on cold approach? How often do you do it?

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:53 am — Reply

      It’s largely a waste of time because the amount of effort and approaching you have to do is stupid.

      It’s also lowers your value by becoming a panhandler for sex/validation.

      I RARELY cold approach. Don’t have to.

      Most guys should set their lives up in a way where they don’t have to neither.

  13. Julio
    February 24, 2016 at 4:53 am — Reply

    Where to start?! Detailed, straightforward and based on experience, I’m sure. I took my time reading the article because I knew it would help me understand how to improve my personal brand, especially in the world of dating and sex. It looks like I have a ton of work ahead of me, starting with getting my own place and bridging the gap between my income and doing work that I love. I’m glad I know what I want to work on! You always tell it like it is. Thanks for this, man! You are a fucking boss.

    • February 24, 2016 at 4:56 am — Reply

      Thanks for your kind words! It’s much more helpful to just tell it like it as so that you and other guys out there can know the facts, adjust your life, and START DOMINATING!!!!

  14. RSD4LIFE
    February 24, 2016 at 3:52 pm — Reply

    Yo Sonny this is bullshittt!!!!! None of the RSD guys look good and they all pull hotties. Check out their videos. Your just a game denialist.

  15. Cam...
    February 25, 2016 at 6:00 pm — Reply

    It doesn’t get better than this! Awesome article!! This will def be a timeless referall.

    • February 25, 2016 at 10:36 pm — Reply

      Thanks bro! Believe it or not the next dating article will be ever better…

      • Cam..
        February 26, 2016 at 4:29 pm — Reply

        I’ve read a few of the comments saying some girls date down.. I think ur def right about sweet talking. One of my homies dates an nfl cheerleader exclusively.. He’s not tall, not jacked, works a minimum wage job and has no car.. He’s also average looking.. But boy does he have a way with words!dude can spit shit so good and have girls.. and guys feeling everything he says.

        • February 27, 2016 at 2:49 am — Reply

          Yea some girls date down absolutely.

          My father is a perfect example of that. A broke 5’3″ Filipino guy should not be able to win the heart of a 5’9″ Russian chick (and stay together all these years). But it happened.

          There certain intangibles those guys that date up have. I’ll talk about them soon…

          • Scott
            February 28, 2016 at 4:04 pm

            Hey

            One thing I’d like to mention is that yes the things on this list are a factor and the general rule and should be worked on to the best of your ability, they are not absolutes every rule has exceptions life simply isn’t neat and tidy like that. If you feel hindered by something you have no control over (height) then it’s time to be the exception. The last two girls I dated are were both model tall and very pretty, I’m 5’9″ (last girl was 5’11” without heals, the previous was 6′) also not in my best shape with a few extra pounds (I’m sorting that out) and I’m currently working a normal job. So I’m far from my ideal position however that means the ladies I choose to invite into my life get a front row seat to my transformation

            I’m also looking forward to the next article on the intangibles.

          • February 28, 2016 at 5:28 pm

            Thanks man.

            Yea the next article will address “the exceptions.”

            ex. My father is 5’3″ Filipino. My mother is 5’9″ blonde Russian. He should not been able to get her. But he did… Why?

            The next article will answer the why and how.

  16. Dan
    February 26, 2016 at 3:02 am — Reply

    Great post Sonny, this is the perfect follow up to the Ten Laws series. There’s so much confusion and bullshit lists of things to do in the PUA industry to get laid. This keeps it simple so you can stay focused. I’m going find myself re-reading this over and over until its tattooed on my brain. Only thing that sucks is that I wish I knew this stuff sooner, I feel like a late-bloomer but rather that than never.

    I’ve had lots of success and experience from your words. Thanks, Sonny.

    And can’t wait to see this next article you got up your sleeve.

    • February 26, 2016 at 3:07 am — Reply

      Thanks Dan. Yea every guy should be given this list once they enter middle school.

      Definitely worth saving!

  17. Tommy
    February 26, 2016 at 3:12 am — Reply

    Great article Sonny. Learned a lot from it 🙂

    • February 26, 2016 at 3:18 am — Reply

      Thanks mo! Like I’ve told everyone else. Just wait until the next one!

  18. joelsuf
    February 26, 2016 at 7:13 pm — Reply

    Wow this was awesome! Got a few things to say about it: First you kind of sound like the “old guard” or PUAism, especially David DeAngelo and Frank Kermit. Don’t know if you know who those guys are but there is common advice between the three of you. Also on the topic of PUAism, it started out good (back in the day it was literally just a list of flirting and inviting techniques) but now it has gotten perverted to a level so bad that its never gonna recover. All you have to do is look at the current most popular PUA Roosh, who thought it was cool to make a joke article about making sexual assault legal. Nearly all of Roosh’s fans are massively butthurt MGTOW (the bad ones, one of my buddies is a MGTOW but he’s perfectly normal he just doesn’t care about developing a love life) and MRAs who pretty much want women to be slaves. It’s horrifically toxifying. I’ve done research on this for a class of mine and what the public sees is nothing compared to what goes on during the “bootcamps.” RSD has been preaching the same gimmicky woo-woo nonsense for the last two years or so but at least they aren’t nearly as harmful as Roosh’s crew. Not a feminist or anything but I’m calling a spade a spade here: Most PUAism nowadays preach hatred for women. They don’t preach being good in bed (like you did) and they pretty much preach that a man is judged by the laycount. It’s awful what PUAism has become.

    One thing I want to add here is that if you are judging your existence on your love/sex life then you are doing it wrong. That’s another concept that PUAism has been preaching for the last five years or so and that’s why its become so toxic. Its also why 9 in 10 MGTOW are just running from their problems cuz if they really didn’t care about chicks they wouldn’t be bitching about them so much lol.

    • February 27, 2016 at 2:56 am — Reply

      Yea a lot of guys develop a deep seeded need to “get back at women”.

      It used to be guys wanted to improve their dating lives because they were legitimately lonely and wanted a gf.

      But a lot of guys have gotten screwed over by a system that favors women, hence the resentment.

      In reality, laycount is a big myth/scam for the majority of the PUA viewing audience.

      Your average viewer has low testosterone. They barely have enough T to fuck one chick let alone develop a rotation.

      Like I’ve said from the beginning, getting the dating life you want is unlikely any other aspect of success.

      OBSESSION DOES NOT EQUAL SUCCESS

      OBSESSION EQUALS CREEPY

  19. Antonio
    February 27, 2016 at 2:34 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny.

    I really liked this article and felt it was helpful. I’m surprised you didn’t mention the important thing of all though. Race matters the most in my opinion. I say this because I’m Hispanic myself. I go to college in Miami and my white friends clean up compared to me. I’m in great shape and dress really well but I can’t seem to get hot white women like them. White women ignore me and have been rude to me at the club and on campus. And the Hispanic women here in Miami seem to take a white guy any day over a Hispanic man. One of my best friends is white and he has hot Hispanic women sending him naked pics on Tinder and begging to get fucked. While the list you said is great, if you’re not white it’s going to be very hard to get hot white women no matter how much value you bring to the table. White men seem to get away with bringing less to the table. What’s your take on this?

    • February 27, 2016 at 4:39 pm — Reply

      I’ve talked about race before.

      http://strengthbysonny.com/2014/05/26/guide-to-screening-part-vi/

      If you bring value you can get white girls… If you’re not getting white girls, then there is something else lacking that you’re maybe not aware of.

      height, social skills, looks… something is lacking.

      We need to find out what it is and fix it.

      Yes, there is some validity to white guys getting away with bringing less to the table.

      That’s not your concern. Your only concern is to be ELITE.

  20. HD
    March 6, 2016 at 4:26 am — Reply

    Another fantastic article, Sonny.

    I know I got a lot of work that needs to be done. In my early 20s but still “feel like a kid” because I have not been “set free” into the world and live with my parents. I’m in college and studying engineering right now. It’s going to be a lot of hard work but I know I can make it and when I get actual work out there, that will be one step towards greatness as I’ll have a steady income of my own – which will open the path for my own home, own car and a focused “restart” where I can truly take control of everything that I should know how to do on my own by now. I’m still a virgin and have had very little social interaction with girls. My concern is not to live a “player” lifestyle or anything atm, I just wanna get a few lays just to get some experience but I’m very much introverted. I’d rather focus on more quickies when I’ve built my status and have my own place b/c logistics atm fuck me over completely. But on the plus side, I would say I’m not doing too bad in the looks department as I work out regularly and am in beach-body shape, I’m average height (5’11”) and have a decent face. I can also be a funny guy and goof around with the best of them, it’s just that it takes a lot to get me out of my shell and even then I’m skeptic to take the next step and be the center of attention. My interests certainly aren’t lacking as I enjoy lifting weights, sports, music (rap defines a big part of me) and have a decent grasp of fun things.

    Which brings me to another point as I kind of lack that outside confidence. I believe in myself and know I can do anything I’d want to but knowing and doing are two entirely different things. I really wish there would be someone that can push me out of my comfort zone which has been a major issue for me. I tell myself I’m gonna do this or that but then when it’s time, I chicken out. I can tell one thing I’ve improved on since reading this site is the eye contact. I used to look away in the past but I’ve put more “force” into it and let other people break it. When it comes to girls, this is a bit of an issue where I don’t want to stare for too long because it can feel creepy. But anyways, I’m starting to ramble on and don’t even know what exactly I want to talk about so I’ll stop here.

    • March 7, 2016 at 5:23 pm — Reply

      If I were you I would join the Private Group. We have a lot of challenges where we push each other out of our comfort zone.

      Ex. We had one specifically for introverts where we made it habit to sing out song lyrics when music is playing. A lot guys liked it and found it really helpful.

  21. BilzerianDreamer
    May 11, 2016 at 4:11 am — Reply

    I think in general, outside of the tall and handsome part, the rest is just down to “status” alone. Going to disagree with a vast majority of this post after the looks part. While I do think it works well for guys who want to be providers for women that are getting older, I think it is not so great for guys who want to be players that clean up with hot girls.

    I’ve seen average looking bartenders having better sex lives than handsome doctors, because handsome doctors are working most of the time. Even back in my college days, I did not notice the science and STEM guys ever getting attention from women unless they were naturally handsome and would have been getting attention anyways.

    The modern day hot girl value the YOLO and Sex in the City lifestyle. For that, in college a frat boy in a popular frat scores more pussy that just about anyone outside of the athletes. Similarly, in the real world, the bartenders and club promoters are running through hotties while the doctors and bankers are having to solely rely on running sugar daddy game.

    I work a “boring” job that pays a good amount of money but I recently picked up an exciting side-gig on the weekends. Just because of that side-gig, I have been getting laid a lot more and having more options with women.

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