Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part VIII (The Importance of Goals and Personal Screening)
What do you really want?
You MUST be honest with yourself.
The dating game is simply another area where guys can self-improve. By that, I mean that like every other area of life, long term success follows the same game plan:
Setting goals for yourself and working towards those goals.
You must be honest with yourself and admit what it is that you really want. What is it that will truly make you happy? What will make you happy right now? What will make you happy in the long term?
These are questions that you need to be asking yourself. Your definite answer is your goal. That’s what you should be working toward.
Another big reason why the whole concept of PUA is flawed is because there is no emphasis on this idea of TRUTHFUL GOAL SETTING.
The traditional picking up chicks communities you see are very sloppy. There’s no concrete direction due to the fact that the main “gurus” are not strong masculine men. In most instances, these “gurus” lacked direction from strong, masculine men in their own upbringing.
They operate in “I don’t know what I want but I know I want something good” mode. That’s very feminine.
Real men operate with a game plan. They keep it simple because they have a single, specific goal in mind.
How a PUA sets goals: “I don’t know. I just wanna get as many girls as possible.”
How a man sets goals: “I want one girl. She has to be attractive, go to the gym, and come from a good family. She must be kind and have a good sense of humor. She can’t be a psycho. And she shouldn’t want to be the man in the relationship. She also can’t be a chick who has a history of sleeping around.”
You see the difference. The PUA lacks direction and does not know what he wants. As a result, he has no standards. Years go by and he remains a man-child going out multiple nights a week essentially begging for scraps.
A grown man who lives a life of choice don’t play that. He knows exactly what he wants. He knows what he must do to get it. He develops a game plan and he executes.
What if I honestly want to sleep with as many attractive girls as possible?
The goal of wanting to bang as many hot chicks as possible is an easy one. It’s easy because there aren’t as many things that could potentially weed the chick out. All you are concerned with is her physical appearance. Personality can take a back seat if the chick is hot enough.
This goal can be easily accomplished because you only need to concern yourself with 3 things:
1) Bringing as much value to the table as possible (Law 4).
2) Volume- Hitting on a lot of chicks (day and night).
3) Social Circle- Interacting with hot chicks on a regular basis.
What if I just want one high quality girl?
This is a little bit harder in my opinion. The reason is because a lot of girls who do happen to be very attractive are simply not good girlfriend material.
In this day and age, many chicks should not be considered potential girlfriend material.
That’s where most guys fail miserably. They don’t have standards and they don’t screen out. They simply take what is given to them, no matter how horrible of a partner the chick is.
That’s a big reason why dudes really mess up the marriage thing. They try to get married with the first chick that they date for a few years after college. They try to force the relationship and make it work when in reality, the chick probably is not worthy of that big of an investment.
The cold hard truth is that many chicks are simply not worth serious consideration because they are not relationship material. Check out this masterpiece written by Victor Pride of Bold and Determined where he writes about this idea of having unbreakable standards when it comes to choosing a wife.
In my opinion, you should adopt a similar screening mindset when getting one high quality chick is your goal. Relationships are an investment. Why invest in a low quality chick?
Example: I met this one kid in Vegas (hardcore into pickup) who was asking my advice on what he was doing wrong with his girlfriend. She often started fights with him, took a long time to answer texts, and would go party without telling him. *** He had met her when she used to work as an escort but she had stopped for him.
The obvious answer is that his chick was not relationship material in the first place. She was a whore who had previously had sex with men for money. The door should have shut right there.
You have to SCREEN the chick as either WORTH IT or NOT WORTH IT.
The way you determine if a chick is worth it is by asking (and honestly answering) questions according to what is important to you. Be selfish. It’s your life.
Is she a good girl or party girl?
Does she come from a good family (both parents in the picture)?
Does she eat healthy and work out?
Does she drink a lot or do drugs?
What is her past dating record?
Does she have a history of casually hooking up?
Has she only had sex with serious boyfriends?
How long did it take for you to seal the deal?
Is she indifferent toward putting a dent in your wallet?
Does she seem like a chick who hustles men?
Do you like talking with her and spending time with her?
Does she have all her marbles or is she a crazy bitch?
Has she ever had a problem with substance abuse or addiction?
Is she controlling?
What does she do for a living?
Does she have any kids?
Does she have a lot of male friends?
Is she genuinely interested in you and is she truly supportive of your goals?
CAN YOU TRUST HER?
So what is the game plan for getting a girlfriend?
The game plan is essentially the same as it is for banging as many chicks as possible. The only difference is that you have be honest with yourself and develop standards according to what you want.
You should not being going out multiple nights a week doing the whole PUA monkey thing. Chances are you’re not going to meet your next high quality girlfriend doing shots at the club. You’re also probably not going to meet her working at the strip club or Hooter’s.
It might sound corny but it’s not all about looks. A chick’s physical beauty does not make up for a lost soul or blatantly reckless behavior.
Your best bet for meeting a potential girlfriend is by either hitting on chicks during the day, meeting them through some chance encounter, or being introduced through mutual friends.
Never skim yourself by investing in a chick that just isn’t worth it. Also don’t fall for the “people change” “don’t judge me on my past” crap.
Chicks don’t really change for men. They don’t have to. If she’s hot, there will always be men lined up who are willing to put up with her just to have a chance. Don’t be the sucker that she decides she wants to change and be the good girl with.
Closing thoughts and the big picture…
Personal screening is the most important form of screening because it forces you to be honest with yourself, have standards, and go after what you want.
It forces you to have a game plan and know what you are doing. It will force you to man up and not settle for scraps.
Being honest with yourself, going after what you want, and REFUSING TO SETTLE FOR SCRAPS is what will make you happy in the long run.
Thanks for reading guys. You will hear from me soon.