Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part III (Basic Physical Screening)
Talking will only get you so far. You MUST be physical.
This is the important stuff, especially when it comes to finding out how down a chick potentially is. This series on screening is going to be a little bit longer (have more parts) because “physical screening” should be broken up into more than just one big section.
I realize that not all guys are comfortable getting physical with a girl as a way of finding out what their deal is. So that’s why I’m breaking up physicality into a few parts. This first part on physicality is the basic stuff. Anyone can do this right now. Here’s why:
This is the stuff that you can do early in the interaction (opening/basic logistics).
This is all very low risk. There’s nothing too awkward or “creepy” about it.
It shows right away that you’re not afraid to be in the presence of a woman.
Since this is such “low risk, if the chick objects… she’s probably not down.
These indicate STRONG interpersonal skills.
Eye contact is NUMERO UNO.
The eyes are the window to the soul. I’m not sure where that quote comes from but it’s very true. Guys, eye contact is so powerful. When I say that chicks can pretty much tell what your deal is, I mean it. The way you look… the way you carry yourself… Eye contact is right up there.
Your eye contact or the way you look at a chick, can tell them everything they need to know about you. When it comes to that stuff, chicks are very perceptive. They pick up on everything. EVERYTHING is on the table and open to interpretation. When you first meet a sexually attractive chick, do you:
Maintain eye contact when you first meet?
Look into her eyes when you speak?
Look into her eyes and mentally undress her?
Look into her eyes and give her your undivided attention?
If you do, great. If not, then that’s something you should work on. I think a good “role model” for learning about the power of eye contact is Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton definitely brought swag into the White House.
Check out these links talking specifically about Bill Clinton and how he has truly mastered powerful eye contact. The first link talks about the “5 Shocking Things Monica Lewinsky Told TIME About the Clinton Affair in 1999.” Number 4 is about his eye contact. The second link talks about Clinton’s “Reality Distortion Field” Charisma and how to get eye contact just right.
Monica Lewinsky on Bill Clinton’s Eye Contact (here)
Tim Ferris on Clinton’s “Reality Distortion Field” Charisma (here)
Give her a hand.
When you meet a chick, it’s pretty standard procedure to shake her hand. Just shake it a little softer than you would a dude’s. That should make sense. When you are flirting with the chick you should ideally be holding her hand when you’re complimenting her. You should also be making eye contact when you hold her hand (I told you it was important).
Again, you can do this early on in the interaction. There really isn’t anything creepy about shaking a chick’s hand and eventually trying to hold it. The media, through their portrayal of the “nice, nervous guy out on a date” stereotype makes a dude going for the hand hold a big deal. It’s not. It’s nothing “special.” When there’s something in the works, dudes hold chick’s hands.
This is why it is important to get comfortable holding a chick’s hand:
It shows you are not afraid to touch a chick.
It shows you are willing to LEAD physically.
It shows that you understand the guy/girl dynamic.
It shows that you have a romantic or sexual side.
I mention “sexual” here because hand holding becomes more sexual when you and the chick get into rubbing each other’s hands. Again, use your instinct to determine how much the chick is into you to decide if that’s appropriate.
Non-sexual light touching is MONEY.
Next to eye contact, non-sexual light touching is an important element that many guys simply don’t realize the importance of. It’s a big deal. It’s what adds depth and vibrancy when you are talking with a chick. It’s what separates you from the average square who hand hovers for profile pictures…
Don’t be that guy who “hand hovers”
Lightly touching a chick accomplishes a lot things. First off, it’s very efficient when it comes to SCREENING. So if you’re talking with a chick joking around and you give her a light touch on the upper arm… If she has a problem with that or seems uncomfortable, do you really think she will be down? No. And chances are she either has some issues or is simply not cool. Either way, it’s best to move on.
Examples of Light Touching in Conversation (And what they accomplish).
Lightly touch the hand or arm (keeps their attention on you)
Lightly touch upper arm/shoulder (gets compliance and builds comfort)
Light nudge/push when joking around (shows you can physically express humor)
Why are these so powerful? Why are these money? Because they are low risk. Anybody can do light touching. Anybody. This isn’t even limited to just chicks talking. Men drop these examples of light touching in conversation all the time. It’s non-sexual enough for that.
You ever talk with your dad where he is dictating the conversation and telling you about the facts of life? Pay attention to the next time you have one of those with him (or another mentor that you trust). You’ll see this play out. The one dictating the interaction is usually doing some sort of light touching to keep the other party attentive and make them feel comfort.
That’s exactly what you want to be doing by lightly touching a chick. You are dictating the interaction. You are leading. You are making sure that they are paying attention and you are offering them comfort.
Why you MUST Lightly Touch Chicks in Conversation
It shows you are engaged in the interaction.
It shows you can communicate physically.
It shows you can lead an interaction, provide comfort, and are in control.
That’s it for now. My goal is to make my posts shorter and more concise from now on. Same goes for the videos. I’m also working on the design of the site so that it don’t look so hoodrat. Talk to ya soon.