Sonny’s Guide to Screening: Part II (Verbal and Conversational Screening)
As we mentioned in Part I, screening is ultimately about profiling a chick so that you can come up with the best (most accurate) answer to the only question that matters… “What is this chick’s deal?”
Part II is about answering that question through verbal communication… good old fashioned conversations where you are feeling the chick out. Everything is on the table as far as information is concerned…. EVERYTHING. Anything that comes up in conversation, whether it’s an answer to one of your questions or just something she willingly brings up, it all could potentially help you in your understanding of what her deal is. *** See Deal Makers and Deal Breakers in Part I.
I have to admit that this is a difficult topic to write on… at least it seems that way initially. It goes against my deep-seeded belief that you cannot really boil this down to a universal formula that will work every time. You just can’t. Chicks aren’t robots and you can’t treat them as such by trying to solve them like they are some sort of problem.
I think that’s a big reason why very intelligent guys who are into IT and Engineering typically have the most difficulty when it comes to this getting good with chicks stuff. Their minds tend to function in a very analytical matter. They are so used to relying upon their greatest strength (logic) to solve problems that it is often the case that they want to also approach learning “game” and applying it to women in the same manner… essentially trying to almost “logic” their way into a chick’s pants by overthinking and overanalyzing everything.
In the SBS Community, we know that this is not the ideal approach. However, it might be best to come up with some important themes to keep in mind when you are conversing with a chick and finding out what her deal is… I’m pretty much winging this thing as I go fellas. Hopefully, it ends up making sense.
So here are the themes that I would consider to be most important. Again, these aren’t absolute and you shouldn’t be thinking of them in terms of a checklist. When in a conversation with a chick you might not get past the opener because she tells you to leave/ignores you. You might get in a situation where you are expanding into a few of these themes. You might touch upon all of them. The point is just be aware that these are the major themes to focus on. In other words, pretty much every comment/question that comes out of your mouth should relate somehow to one of these categories.
Don’t worry about physicality for now. That’s for Part III. Keep in mind that these are pretty much standard procedure (what you can expect to normally deal with). Also, just be aware of the fact that it really can be anything goes if you are in a high octane venue /atmosphere such as any of the nightclubs/pool parties in Las Vegas… These are simply categories of information that more often than not should come up in a conversation. They are:
Opener (Direct vs. Indirect)
Basic Logistics (Non-sexual)
Basic Understanding (Establishing Familiarity) *** Where flirting (dropping hints) comes into play
Turnin’ it Up/Obvious Logistics (Sexual Interest is already established… How’s it going down?)
Opener (Direct vs. Indirect)
Everyone knows what an opener is. It’s the first thing you say to a chick. There’s direct openers and indirect openers… if you studied any PUA/red pill sites, this is nothing new. The only thing that might be new is my explanation of each/rationale behind my suggestions. But other than that, pretty much everything I say here has been said before no need to really beat it into the ground. I differentiate direct versus indirect in the following way:
Direct openers are when you go up to the chick and make your intentions known. You blatantly hit on the chick and show no shame. These are good…
Indirect openers aren’t really approaches… They pretty much stem from a normal conversation. Eventually, as the conversation progresses, you drop enough sexual/flirtatious/teasing hints that make your intentions known/make it known what “type” of guy you are. These are good too…
Let’s dig a little deeper and really get an understanding of direct vs. indirect.
Like I said, direct openers are good because they entail you going up to a chick and make your intentions known. They cut to the chase. You’ve already shown that you are interested by going up to her and telling her so. You’ve pretty much cut to the chase. Some people/gurus claim you should never compliment a chick on her looks… I think that’s poor advice. The reasons are simple:
1) It takes the guesswork out of the interaction. When you approach a chick and compliment her looks right off the bat, she knows what’s up… especially if she’s really hot. Hot chicks know the deal. They know that every dude wants a shot at banging them. Makes sense right?… You compliment a chick on her physical attractiveness. What do guys want to do with physically attractive women?… Exactly. You know it. I know it. More importantly, they know. So when you holla at them like that it’s no secret what’s up. They are either in (or at least initially receptive) or out (not receptive).
2) Chicks are validation junkies. All people are really. We all love to get validated. I can have a fat chick cold approach me…. I won’t be down for her. But when she compliments my looks, I’ll still smile/say thank you (and eventually leave). Compliments/validation are absolutely a form of greasing the wheels and smoothing out an interaction. When you compliment a chick on her looks, they eat that up. At least it opens the door for you where you might have a chance or at least she’ll be a little more receptive in the beginning. That’s a lot better than the PUA who goes in trying to just grab chicks right away.
The following are examples of direct openers aka cutting to the chase. You pretty much approach saying that you wanted to meet her because you thought she was:
I’m tapped out… that’s about all I could come up with. Again, it’s not that complicated. You drop any of those right off the bat then it’s obvious why you are talking to her. You want her. These days I tend to stick with saying a chick is “really pretty” or “really sexy”.
Indirect is a little “trickier” because it definitely requires good social skills (social competence) on your part. Like I said, these aren’t even really approaches in my opinion because you’re not going up to the chick making your intentions known. In fact, most of the time these can be quite random because it’s pretty much a situational occurrence. You just end up in a conversation with a chick for whatever random reason. ** This is different from the PUA version of “going indirect” by going up asking for a female opinion.
The general game plan is very simple. When you talking with a chick in normal conversation, meaning you haven’t shown intent by giving her compliments right off the bat, you’re pretty much in cruise control. In other words, you pretty much continue to talk (talking about whatever you guys are gonna talk about) and start to feel her out.
Eventually, when the conversation hits a high note (it’s obvious that you’re both having fun/enjoying socializing with one another), then you can makes your intentions clear. Possible examples of what to say include:
“I’m glad I met you. You’re really cool.”
This first option is more of a playing it safe option. Perhaps, you are not at the point yet where you can confidently “pull the trigger” or show your intent. Or it might be the case that you can tell she is into you but just not down to leave with you and silk. If that’s the case, then dropping something like this is definitely appropriate. You can kind of gauge the chick’s reaction going forward. If she’ a little uptight (due to sobriety) consider giving/getting her a drink. ** Be realistic though, you should only consider buying her a drink if you think that it gives a legitimate chance at greasing the wheels and bumping her up on the Downness Scale… Buying drinks is definitely a misunderstood topic check out this quick vid for a legitimate outlook:
“I’m glad I met you. You’re really (cute/sexy).”
This second option is pretty much getting to the point where you would be right from the start if it was a direct approach. The difference is that since you were presumably talking with her in normal conversation, you have some sort of comfort built up. Again, once you drop this on her, the table’s pretty much set. It should be abundantly clear what the situation is/what your intent is. She’s either interested (receptive) or not.
Basic Logistics (Non-sexual)
Basic logistics refers to the initial information you are finding out about the chick when you are first meeting her and trying to answer the only question that matters… “What is this chick’s deal?” When you are conversing with a chick figuring out basic logistics you are trying to pick up on:
Obvious Deal Breakers and Deal Makers
** Remember those lists from Part I **
That’s so important. We are trying to be as efficient as possible here. We don’t want to waste time talking to chicks where the odds are not in our favor. We’re hoping to find chicks where it won’t take much effort to get them to leave with us.
We want to figure out what this chick’s deal is as fast as possible. We do that by screening for basic logistics and focusing on what matters (CliffsNotes) to accurately profile the chick. So it’s important to have a basic understanding of the following…
What is she up to?
What brings her out tonight?
Who is she here with (come here with)?
Is she single/available?
What type of chick is she?
Does she seem fun/exciting?
Is she outgoing/friendly?
Does she seem like she “gets down?”
Is she shy/timid?
Is she a prude?
If she is from out of town…
Where is she staying (friends/hotel)?
When is she leaving?
*** Keep your eyes open for the “out-of-towners”. The odds can definitely be in your favor if they are also single and out having fun.
This is just a sampling. But this is stuff that you should be trying to figure out either through direct question, relying upon basic observational skills (judging a book by its cover), or simply paying attention to her answers/stuff she willingly brings up. Again, use common sense. You don’t wanna do something stupid like asking the chick flat out what type of chick she is…
I would say that those top 3 bolded questions are key. When you are able to get a chick into a conversation, you should be getting answers to those within the first 2 minutes of talking. You’ll find out a lot just from answering those questions (in addition to general profiling).
Ex. I believe I gave a few examples of this in those first 2 game articles… I mentioned a chick who WAS NOT DOWN. I knew this pretty quickly because of the fact that I got answers to those 3 questions.
What was she up to? / What brought her out?
She was out celebrating her brother coming home from Afghanistan.
Who was she out with?
Her entire family.
Based off of that info/my general profiling skills… What was her deal?
She was out having a family night. She wasn’t getting hurricane drunk with her girlfriends. She wasn’t that drunk and genuinely didn’t come off as “that type of girl.” We flirted a little so I got her number.
*** Update- I never followed up with her (Forgot).
That’s sort of how you want to function… building up your people skills/ability to profile people to the extent that you can say with confidence that you know what their deal is. You absolutely should want this ability when you go out trying to get laid…. Otherwise, this whole pickin up chicks thing really becomes a shot in the dark. We don’t want that because we want to play the game on easy mode. We want control. The closest thing to getting this control is playing the game with the odds in our favor.
Basic Understanding (Establishing Familiarity)
Basic understanding usually takes place within the first few minutes of opening. You and the chick are establishing familiarity… feeling each other out. This goes hand in hand with basic logistics (non-sexual). I guess you could call this a potentially boring part because “interview mode” questions are usually most appropriate. But it is also potentially exciting because this is when FLIRTING comes into play. Typical boring questions that tend to come up (on both the guy’s and girl’s part) are:
What do you do for a living?
Where are you from?
What part of town do you live in?
Tell me about yourself.
What do you do for fun (hobbies)?
The next set of questions have a little more spice to them because they are not boring interview type questions. Anytime these come up it usually indicates interest in the other party. Again, either the guy or girl could ask these/make these comments… Fellas, if a chick asks you ANY of these/makes any of these comments, the odds are definitely in your favor. Also, keep in mind that if any of these are dropped in conversation, it pretty much makes it obvious that you’re not talking to be friendly:
You smell (really) good.
Do you work out?
What is your ethnicity? (I get this one a lot)
I like your shirt/pants/shoes. (Chick would probably say this)
I like the way your pants fit. (Dude can say this)
How tall are you? (Chick would ask this)
If she asks about/comments on your accessories…
Ex. Necklace, bracelet, watch, tattoos (if you have any)
Do you have a girlfriend?
Again, there’s a bunch more… those were the first ones that came to mind. But I want to expand on that by talking about FLIRTING. Now what is flirting? Well, my understanding of flirting is that it’s the combination of using your verbal and physical communications skills to indicate attraction/interest. It involves both verbal (this Part) and physical (Part III).
Since you are trying to get laid, flirting should be the basis of your screening. You should always be flirting in one way or another. That will become obvious in our next article on physical screening. But for now we want to focus on flirting from a verbal standpoint.
There’s no set formula for when to flirt… There’s so many different potential situations and it depends on the chick you are dealing with. My best advice is to again rely on your instinct and basic social coordination to blatantly flirt when it is appropriate.
SBS Ideal Theme for Flirting
When you are flirting with a chick, you should be aiming for funny/borderline inappropriate… That’s money time for us in the SBS Community. We’re not being rude or sexually explicit (initially). We operate smooth here… we like silkin’ broads with that smooth LL flow… tellin’ them what’s up without blatantly saying it (greasing the wheels).
Ideally, we are being playful/naughty because we are taking anything a chick says and putting a sexual innuendo/twist on it (see examples below).
I will admit that over the years, there are certain lines (key words) that tend to work… They usually get a positive response (if the chick is responsive) and they set the tone that you’re a dude who isn’t afraid of hitting on chicks. These are what I would consider to be key words that should be dropped anytime you are flirting with a hot chick that you like:
Animal/Beast (when being cocky/referencing yourself)
Those are the Big 5 in my experience. Dropping any of those in conversation can be very powerful… Boring, nice guys that wear khakis and boat shoes don’t talk like that girls. But then again, we’re not really going for the boring nice guy storyline here. I think most of you would agree. You probably know this otherwise you wouldn’t have visited my site. Don’t get it twisted… what you say DOES MATTER. Verbal flirting is a key component to getting laid.
It’s how normal everyday players can get laid based off of numbers they get during the day versus having to go out to bars/clubs approaching every chick on site (and maybe getting lucky).
A guy who flirts and brings a decent amount of EDGINESS to the words he drops in conversation is definitely playing with the odds in his favor.
Example: Say a chick tells you that she works as a nurse.
The possibilities are endless…
You could drop something like how hot you think that is and you can imagine her as a “naughty nurse”
That’s money right there. It cuts right to the chase… You would both know what that implies (making reference to the naughty/slutty nurse fantasy that guys have/watch on the Internet). If she plays along with it (or takes it a step further), it at least shows she’s a good sport willing to play along… but in reality there might be some interest on her part. If not, then she’s probably not interested or just a chick that takes a while to warm up to someone.
Example: Say a chick tells you she’s a teacher.
Again, you can do a lot with that little piece of information that she gave you. You could potentially drop something about how hot that is and that you wish you had had a teacher like her… going on about how you could totally picture her rockin the nerdy glasses and that you’d be her “worst” student and how she would have to give you detention every day. Again, it would be very obvious that you’re flirting and the sexual implications hinted at would be obvious as well (teacher student relations durr). Potentially creepy? Perhaps. But the point is you’re not wasting time. You would be screening pretty hard and pretty fast there. Chicks don’t get talked to like that on a regular basis… that could be a good thing for you.
*** Don’t have any video examples (infield footage) at the moment but here’s some text examples of flirting. They are funny/borderline inappropriate (It’s obvious what my intentions are once we hang out).
Hmm… I wonder what she thinks “You can rob my cradle ;)” means.
I doubt she thinks a dude who texts her that is going to wine/dine her for a while. This was a chick I met/banged while I was out of town a while back…
Again, it’s pretty obvious what I’m getting at here… she knows what’s up. Any response is a good indicator. The table is set so that once we hang out… there’s no question as to what’s going to go down. Having a few drinks/playing a game of pool with this chick was merely foreplay before we went back to my hotel.
*** It should also be noted that I talked with her the night before we chilled for a good 20 min… my way of solidifying what’s good (more flirting and spittin’ that naughty/sexy stuff that chicks like to hear)
More flirting over text… cutting to the chase pretty quick though especially when I reference my “morning shark” (morning wood). Again, pretty obvious… any response especially going along with it is a good sign. This chick was hot/def had a good sense of humor.
Tell her I’m at work and she responds jokingly “Make me that money!”… Get outta here. I love women but some of them definitely have a delusional sense of entitlement (no matter how hot they are). The name “Tyson” appears because this was a Tinder chick… I never use my real name on there.
Again, intent (on my part) should be obvious here.
*** Also note being called a “douchebag” is usually good… Any chick I silk, I usually get called that from time to time (been that way since high school).
I normally don’t like texting but sometimes it’s necessary… such as schedules not aligning right away (first chick) or having to spend time greasing the wheels because it’s an app such as Tinder (second chick)
Turning it Up/Obvious Logistics (Sexual Interest Already Established)
This can sort of be looked at as a continuation of flirting… This is where the magic happens. You’re one goal becomes obvious… YOU ARE TRYING TO CLOSE. By this point, it’s already crystal clear what’s going on. There’s no question. She absolutely knows what’s up. This really becomes apparent when you are physical… but again, we’ll get to that in the next part.
This is what you do when you want to seal the deal… aka take her somewhere to have sex. Again, there’s certain phrases you can drop in conversation so that she gets the hint… she gets that you want to get her out of there. Here’s a list closing terms… You’ve probably heard some of these:
*** Again, use your common sense. You don’t wanna drop these early on/open with these. It usually takes some sort of established trust for you to get a chick into isolation (main goal). Again, you should already have had some flirting between the two of you:
Let’s get out of here.
Let’s go somewhere else.
Let’s get a drink at (whatever location).
Let’s go chill at my house/apartment (place).
Come play with me at my house/apartment (place).
Let’s go somewhere and have some fun.
Ditch your friends and come chill with me instead.
Leave your friends. It’s okay to be a bad girl.
I want to have some fun with you babe.
Those are OBVIOUS LOGISTIC SOLUTIONS… Saying anything along those lines makes it obvious to the chick what you want. You obviously want to get her in isolation. If she isn’t a complete retard she knows what that means… If she’s a typical hot girl, she’s got a ton of experience having dudes trying to get her in isolation (asking her to “come chill”… “watch a movie”… or whatever slick talk us guys think of).
Often times, the chick might ask “What are we going to do?” or “Why are we going to go to (place you suggested)? In my opinion (and experience), just be upfront… It cuts to the chase and if they truly are down, they will help solve logistics for you (tell their friends to leave you guys along, ditch their friends, turn her phone off… etc.)
There’s a bunch of reasons why you should (need) to be upfront with what you want:
1) Real men are unapologetic with what they want (some chicks appreciate straightforwardness).
2) If you are upfront and actually get the chick back to your place, it’s pretty much a done deal.
*** A lot of PUA’s have to put up with LMR… Know why? It’s because this is all a game to them. They’re not real… they’re game plan is about keeping the string of lies/emotional state pumping going for as long as possible. So when a guy “lies” to a chick saying that they are going to an “after party” and he just brings her back to a dark empty house… she’s probably going to freak out.
3) Some chicks really are that dumb… If you tell a chick you want to go back to your place “to chill”, some will really think that’s all you wanted to do.
That’s why it’s usually in your best interest to be upfront. Ideally, you should NEVER be pulling chicks back to your place (with the intent to have sex) and not hitting it. You don’t wanna be like all these PUA’s typing up in their field reports and whining about how they pulled some “stunner” but couldn’t close because of LMR. The only real excuse you should have is if both you guys pass out because you were too faded and in that case you could probably hit it in the morning.
It’s in your best interest to express OBVIOUS SEXUAL INTENT… You’re spelling it out for her. In case she is too dumb to realize that you want her, you are letting her know. There’s no question now… it’s all out on the table now. If she leaves with you, you guys might chill but she knows 100% that you will eventually hit it. You can refer to what you want to do her or be selfish and talk about how you’re feeling (horny). To make her feel more comfortable, you could also include “filler” words to smooth this out such as calling her “baby or “babe”:
I really wanna fuck you.
I wanna hit it so hard.
Let’s have some fun.
I’m really in the mood.
I love your body.
Your body is driving me nuts babe.
I wanna put a dent it that (grab her ass).
I’m rock hard right now.
I’m in rocket mode right now.
Your body’s got me in rocket mode babe.
I wanna hit it in my shower.
I wanna hit it from the back.
I promise you’ll get a couple good ones out of me.
You know I’ll hit it so good babe.
We would look so hot together.
Those are just a few examples (bold ones are my usual go to ones)… There’s a ton more that I’ve probably dropped and there’s a bunch that I’ve probably never heard of. I think every guy has their own style of “pulling the trigger.” Those are just some of my own. Feel free to copy some of my swag. I do think it’s a good idea to keep a chick’s body in mind and comment on it often.
*** These SHOULD NOT be said in normal conversation… it’s definitely necessary to be “getting physical” once you reach this point. So ideally your hands should be all over each other.
Ex. When you are trying to get a chick to leave with you and say “You know I’ll hit it so good babe”… You would probably want to have your hands around her waist and be whispering it into her ear. You might even sneak in some naughty kissing on her neck/lightly bite her ear *** Again, that’s more Part III.
More Text Examples (When it’s Obvious):
Both examples are pretty self-explanatory… We both know what’s gonna happen when we hang out.
Closing Thoughts on Verbal/Conversational Screening
What you say absolutely matters… It always has and it always will. It matters less depending on how the down the chick is in the first place. But even then it matters, as made evident by PUA’s who tend to lack the basics in being perceived as a cool individual. They often times come across potential slam dunks and still manage to mess up. Again, general people skills are required to get chicks. This is how screening is done from a verbal standpoint… Being a smooth talker is very real and it’s definitely a trait that will put the odds in your favor. You should always be screening and always be paying attention to what’s going on. What is this chick’s deal?… EVERYTHING is in play and could potentially mean something.
What is this chick’s deal? How much effort is required on my part? How are my odds looking?… These are all questions that you must be able to answer. Flirting or implicitly showing your sexual interest is huge. Gotta be able to do that.
Again, when it comes to flirting, we’re money when we are hitting funny/borderline inappropriate. Another way to think of flirting is to be playful/naughty… we’re not being rude or sexually explicit right off the bat. However, we can stay in the range of sexually suggestive by taking anything that comes up in conversation and putting our own sexual innuendo/twist on it (dropping obvious hints). *** Look at the examples.
The moment of truth comes when it’s closing time, when you are obviously trying to get the chick home (or whatever sex location you have in mind). The way you close is very simple… you just go for it. Be unapologetic. Be proactive. Be a leader. It’s never going to be the case where the chick does all the work and pulls YOU out of the bar and solves logistics for YOU (might be more common with older chicks with more confidence/experience or if a chick is just that down). But always assume it’s your responsibility…. I gave you guys some stuff you can potentially say to let them know what’s up. Also if she’s obviously into you, don’t hold back the sexuality, embrace it. Don’t be afraid to whisper that naughty silk you want to do to them in their ear when it’s obvious you both want it.
Bottom Line: Guys who effectively communicate to chicks what they want and who aren’t afraid to just go for the close win this game… Communicating our desires is our task, not the chick’s. Guys who have the mentality of wanting chicks to do all the legwork and blatantly tell them what’s up usually take a taxi home by themselves at three in the morning on a Saturday…. Part III (Physical Screening) is up next. Holla at ya boy in the comments.