Game/Dating

Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part II)

Before we get started, I just wanted to take the time to thank you guys for all the positive feedback on Part I. I do think this area should be taught a certain way so that there is no confusion going forward. No tricks. No marketing scams where I am constantly changing the principles that works.

This is it. Just ten simple laws that the Strength By Sonny community can refer back to for years to come. There will be no contradictions. Any article, program, or video that I will ever create on this topic will directly relate back to these ten laws. I truly believe that this is an important topic for men of all ages. My overall goal is to help men create the best lifestyle for themselves. In my opinion, the ideal lifestyle for men involves attractive women.

If you are a guy who lives a life without women, you are in the same boat as a prisoner. It’s torture. It’s actually not as rare as you might think. The population of guys who do not have the necessary foundation of social coordination and just general knowledge on women is only going to increase over time. You can thank an overabundance of technology and lack of truly masculine role models for the withering of raw instinct and pussification of the modern man.  A lot of single guys do not get laid/have any kind of dating life. That’s not a way to live and if you have found my site then I’m sure you realize this.

This part will follow the same format as Part I. It will cover the final five laws that I believe must be understood going forward if you are going to create the dating life you want. As usual, I will try to include several personal examples and stories with each law in order to prove the validity of my point and give you an insight into my own experiences seeing the law played out. Are you ready? Ok, here we go. Here are the last five laws that I consider important in learning how to get girls.

 

Law 6: Cold Approach is Cool… But it’s not KING

I’ll start my discussion of by going over (in detail) the good and the bad of cold approach. Then I’ll talk about what is king. For the record, I think cold approach pick-up is one of the greatest things a guy can at least become aware of. Really I do. Think about normal (blue pill) guys. Try to envision how they see the world. Do you know how difficult it is to straight up go up to a chick and approach her? It’s easy for me and I’m you guys feel the same way. But really think about your normal everyday dude who pretty much believes all the crap that society tells him. To him approaching a chick is absolutely terrifying. “What if I get rejected?” “What if she freaks out?” “I don’t wanna look stupid or creepy.” They have all these negative thoughts that prevent them from just going for it. You wanna know something sad?

The majority of men will go their entire lives without approaching a chick. There is no adventure, no leap of faith they just settle for what they can get. Life for them is essentially a collection missed opportunities and just flat out never taking the shot. How many times do you see a hot chick walk past a dude and that dude stops dead in tracks to turn around and go holla at her? You rarely see that. No, instead, what you see is the dude usually can’t keep eye contact and looks down as he walks by. Then he turns around to check her out from behind. Walk around any city. You will see this very often.

 

Why Cold Approach is Good

What cold approach does do is give that guys the courage to actually take that shot and see what happens. When done right, cold approach teaches you to make the most of your dating life by being efficient with your time. I can’t stand hearing guys talk about how difficult it to meet women today and how they don’t know where to look. It’s not that they don’t know where to look it’s that they don’t open their eyes…. Attractive women are everywhere. Most dudes get out of the house on a daily basis, they’re just totally oblivious to all these opportunities they are missing to hit on chicks.

Starbucks, the gym, the park, the grocery store, in traffic, the subway, the mall, the bookstore…

Most dudes will encounter hot chicks at these places and just let these opportunities slip by on a daily basis. They go through life never knowing, just wondering what if. Who knows? Maybe that hot chick shopping by herself at Whole Foods at 8:00 PM on a Friday night is at a 10 on the Downness Scale and needs to tipdrilled ASAP. Maybe not. The only way to find out is by going up, talking to her, and seeing what her deal is through screening.

The bottom line is that cold approach takes BALLS. It really does. It takes balls to go up to a hot chick (who is a stranger by the way) and tell her that you think she’s really cute and you wanted to meet her. Learning to do that and having that courage to go after what you want helps set up an amazing foundation for success in many aspects of life. All you can really do is take the shot and hope for the best. People always talk about living life to the fullest. You know what that really means? It means efficiency. When someone lives life to the fullest, it means that every gift… every opportunity that life gives them… they take it no questions asked. There is no wasted opportunity.

Cold approach done the right way entails that same mentality. Most dudes see a hot chick and the first thing that pops into their head is the million reasons why they shouldn’t approach. Granted there are some legitimate reasons where you should let it go or at least wait for the right moment. But more often than not, dudes have a window of time where they have the green light. When cold approach is done the correct way, the first thing that pops into you head won’t be the million reasons why you might fail. It will be the opportunity you have in front of you… the opportunity that you might go up to a chick spit some of that LL flow and get her. That’s how it’s done (mentally at least).

The possibility of success far outshines the possibility of failure.

Approaching a chick with the intent to get laid requires this mindset. You can’t be thinking about all the million ways you might get rejected. You need to be focusing on the possibility that you could be banging this chick in an hour. That’s the beauty of cold approach pickup. Now let’s get into the negative aspects of cold approach.

 

Why Cold Approach is not KING

Well, first and foremost, for cold approach to truly work, you must have a strong grasp of Law 1. I’ve said it so many times, but it’s true. The problem lies with the fact that most dudes that come into pick-up brand new are severally lacking in social savviness. This is unfortunate because they get brainwashed by the awe and mystery of cold approach pick-up. It’s like this never ending quest. They must work on their game and go through all these transformations over the years and then finally after years of grinding it out and hitting up bars/clubs 7 nights a week…. They will finally reach the advanced level and become COLD APPROACH PICK-UP MASTERS. It sounds stupid but that’s how a lot of dudes get brainwashed into thinking.

No. That’s just not how it is. Cold approach is cool. But it’s not some religious doctrine that you must eat sleep and live by 24/7 in order to become some master. At best, cold approach can be regarded as a glorified hobby. In reality, it’s actually just something you do in the moment as part of an overall lifestyle. More on that in a later law.

I think the biggest flaw I see with cold approach pick-up is the fact that it is very addicting. It really is. Once you become confident in something you want to do more of it because it feels good. When I first started going to the gym, I wanted to go to the gym seven days a week. I was addicted. I still had a life outside the gym. Nothing really changed. I still spent a lot of time with all the people that mattered in my life. It was just an activity that I needed to do 1-2 hours every day in the beginning. I don’t see that as a bad addiction because no other aspects of my life suffered.

The problem with cold-approach is that more times than not dudes become addicted to it in a bad way, to the point where that’s all they focus on. Life becomes nothing but pick-up. Friends, family, careers, and hobbies all get neglected in favor of the quest to become an advanced PUA.

When you think about it, the trap is easy to fall into. The typical pick-up client is usually a guy who is not very social and has not had much success with women. Some are very desperate and are looking for hope. Then comes along these Internet gurus who spew all this garbage about looks not mattering and that they key to getting girls is to become advanced at game. Since the viewers are looking for answers they eat it up. Days… months… years go by. They might spend thousands of dollars on products/bootcamps and dedicate hundreds of hours to practicing game. That’s how they fall into it.

The reasons why I have decided to include information on getting chicks on my site are very simple. First, I am definitely an expert on it. I’ve had this part of my life handled for a long time. I believe I offer some good insights as a result of it. More importantly, it pisses me off to see the current state of this industry…. For the most part, guys are just not taught the right stuff and waste a lot of time and effort. In many cases, they actually neglect the stuff that really matters (I covered these in the previous laws).

In my experience, I have seen instances where cold approach pick-up and the quest to become a slayer have truly ruined lives. I have seen absolutely terrible things happen to guys because they have become consumed by the chase. The most common thing I have seen is dudes following the game plan of trying to go through life as a lone wolf and just do pick-up all the time. They have no friends and just go about this without really having a clue. I’ve worked with kids who messed themselves for the next 3 years of school (high school and college) because their Freshman year they tried to spam approach girls at the school and as a result no one wants anything to do with them. I’ve seen dudes abandon all their friends because they thought they were chodes due to the fact that they didn’t want to holla at chicks 24/7. I’ve seen guys get knocked out at clubs because they refused to leave an unavailable girl alone. I know dudes who have cut off all ties with their family because they wanted to chase the life. I met a dude who spent over $30,000 on PUA. I met a dude who completed abandoned his family and left his career behind just to move to a party city and chase PUA mastery. He blew all his money and was even homeless for a brief period of time. I’ve also seen several instances of dudes going to jail because of accusations made against them.

I think the main point I would like to end with here is to tell you that I have never seen anyone truly get their dating life handled exclusively by pick-up. More importantly, I have never seen anyone truly happy when they dedicate so much time to cold approaching chicks. Do you know why?

It’s because truth be told, cold approach pick-up is a pain in the ass. It is. You deal with a lot of crap and it could take a lot of approaches to get laid. It’s totally random. Most girls are not down. Even if they happen to be sexually available, a lot of them are not down to hanging out with some stranger they met on the street. No matter how smooth or good looking you are, there will always be that element of randomness that some girls just won’t feel comfortable with. That’s the truth. When you rely on cold approach alone to get chicks, it can really be a pain in the ass. Going out all the time. The risks associated with bringing random girls home and sleeping with them. The rejections. The text games. All the approaching. Those nights when you go home empty handed and pissed off. Everyone has experienced a few of these. All of this garbage and most importantly lack of results can absolutely devastate a dude if he has never had success with women.

For that reason, cold approach should not be the foundation for getting laid where you rely exclusively on that. Cold approach simply is not king. So what is king?…

 

Proximity is KING

 This is not a new concept. In fact, it’s pretty much common knowledge. Proximity aka SOCIAL CIRCLE is king. Being associated with the right people is very powerful. Seeing a girl and interacting with her on a regular basis is very powerful. This absolutely needs to be mentioned though because most dudes who study this topic just don’t get that they need to become a part of a cool social circle to give themselves the best chance to get top notch girls. They get addicted to chasing the dream of becoming a player instead of simply becoming associated with the people that would facilitate that goal. In fact, they actually look down on getting laid through social circle. Hardcore community dudes almost try to rationalize that “it doesn’t count” if you get a chick though social circle.

They just don’t get how it important it is to know the right people. Cold approach just does not compare to being a part of the in crowd. This site about doing things the right way.

The way to approach getting laid is to do the things that will give you the best chance.

Again, this is something I have experience with because over the years I have been fortunate enough to have always been associated with the right people. I was always a cool, popular guy in school and had similar friends. Based upon my years of experience, I can honestly say that nothing can compare to being a part of the “in-crowd” when it comes to getting laid. Nothing compares to just seeing a chick on a regular basis, developing that comfort and attraction, and then eventually sleeping with her. It just doesn’t get any easier than that.

Flashback: Summer of 2006 was an amazing time for me. It’s when I first started lifting weights and I also worked an awesome job. I was a summer camp counselor. A lot of hot girls work as camp counselors. For you younger guys (high school- early 20’s), that is one of the best jobs you can get to bang hot girls. That summer I hooked up with a few really hot girls that I probably would have had no shot with if I had met them doing cold approach. I was a good looking kid (probably the best looking guy counselor) with a great physique but I was only 16. Some of the girls were 18-19. That’s a big deal. That and lifting weights gave me so much confidence. But…. I didn’t do anything special to get them. I would run into them all the time and chat em up when we were on pool duty or something. They would get very comfortable with me. As I got to know them, we would begin to flirt more and more (flirted on AIM as well) until eventually we would both get drunk at a party and then have sex in some random place. That’s how it went down. I wasn’t doing cold approach. I didn’t have to.

I want to tell the story of 2 personal examples where this law was clearly followed. These are examples of dudes that were able to really go above and beyond what you would expect for guys that looked like them to experience for a dating life.

Stephen- I mentioned how I was friends with kids from many different social circles in high school, including nerds. This kid was the biggest nerd you can imagine. One look at him and you would think he would grow up to be the real life 40 year-old virgin or that you might one day see him on Dateline NBC. The kid was that creepy looking. We were both honors students and he was in a lot of my classes. As a result, I got to know him and I always thought he was pretty cool. He was a solid dude. But if you looked at him you would see him as a nerdy, creepy dude. He had the mushroom haircut. He wore the blue-blocker shades. He was hunched over and had moobs. He also dressed like a 12 year old and was into comic books. But he was my friend and I always felt a certain responsibility to watch his back. I treated him like my younger brother almost. Kids like him tend to get picked on in school and it wasn’t going to happen as long as I was around.

The point is… this kid had no sex appeal. Girls don’t look at kids like that and think anything sexual. It doesn’t happen. This kid could cold approach a million girls and there’s a chance he would be shut out every time. That’s how bad it was with him. However, little did Stephen know was that he was truly living out Law 6… he benefitted from proximity. He was friends with the right people. He was friends with me. If he was not friends with me, his high school experience would have been a totally different experience. He would have gotten made fun of and probably bullied. He probably would not have had any friends or he would have been friends with kids that were like him…. All of them sitting at their own little nerd table during lunch. He never would have talked to a girl (let alone bang one). Best case scenario he would have transferred schools and at least would have broken up the misery between 2 schools.

But that didn’t happen because he was friends with me and I had his back. I was a popular kid who was a part of the in crowd. I always made sure to invite him anytime I was going to a party or hanging out with a bunch of people. This kid was my brother. The only thing I asked for in return was that he sometimes drive if I wanted to drink/smoke at a party. Because he was associated with me, he also had a lot of friends in high school. He truly went above and beyond what was given to him and was able to have a true high school experience. Friends… going to parties. The highlight came during the last month of school when everyone was in full on party mode. He ended up getting drunk and losing his virginity to a hot chick at a party. That’s right. It was some chick that was just in our group of friends that he was always around. They were also in the same home room and were locker neighbors. It just happened. Right place. Right time. Right friends. I still laugh about it to this day. I really feel good about the high school experience this dude was able to have. Because he was friends with the right people… he didn’t suffer the same fate as most nerds in school. He felt good about himself and was able to really live during those years.

Now I’m not saying he went on to become a player. That would be a lie. But his high school experience and the highlight of banging a hot chick gave him a lot of confidence that was then transferred into his college years. He didn’t really party but was able to have the dating life he wanted (dated 2 girls in college).

My Father– This is a very personal example. Without my father, I would not be here. By default, there would be no Strength By Sonny. I mentioned how I benefitted from strong male role models that taught me how to operate. Well, I grew up learning from my fathers’ wisdom when it comes to dating. His dating advice that he always told me:

 

Hit everything you can while you’re young. Don’t even think about marriage until 30. Marry a rich girl from a good family.

 

He did things the right way. He partied his ass off and messed around for a while. And he married my mom and had me when he was 35. Once he got married and started a family, he’s remained focused and the only thing he concerned himself with was money and family. That’s the old school way of getting it done.

But for the purposes of this discussion I want to talk about my father’s single days back in the 1980’s. I would view my father as another individual who really went above and beyond what was given to him to absolutely hit it out the park with his dating life. He was a good-looking dude (more cute than handsome because he always looked so young). In the pictures of him holding me as a baby, he’s 35 but looks 17. He dressed well and was very socially coordinated. The only hindrance was height. He’s a little Filipino dude that stands 5’4”. For most women, that is too short. It’s definitely not conducive to anybody being viewed as a player. But my father was an absolute cooze hound back in the 80’s. He’s told me. More importantly, all of his old friends from back than have also confirmed this. How was he able to do this?…. through the power of proximity.

My father was close friends with some major players in New York City during the 1980’s. He actually hung out/partied with a few celebrities. My father and his associates absolutely ruled the nightlife during that era and lived the life. It was a crazy time… much crazier than today. To start off, during his single days, my father worked in the nightclub industry and had his own apartment downtown. So he had the ideal employment situation and ideal location for meeting women and bringing them back to his place.

Most importantly, he was a part of the scene and part of an elite social circle. His 2 closest friends were the following: a black dude who’s father owned a nightclub and strip club and a bank president. Again, it’s all about who you know and my father clearly understood this. He wasn’t doing cold approach. Could he have gotten girls off of cold approach? Perhaps. Everything was naturally taken care of. Handsome face, very well-dressed, a natural people person that everyone liked…. The only knock was the fact that he was very short, but that can be a huge knock. He certainly wouldn’t have lived the crazy lifestyle he did if he relied exclusively off of cold approach.

Because he understood and lived out this law he was able to truly live out the player lifestyle in New York City during the 1980’s. Anybody who knows anything about history and is honest will admit that it’s simply not possible to top the craziness of that era. It’s just no longer possible. My father was very much the basis for a lot of my knowledge on women. His influence is what has turned me into the man I am today. For this reason, I truly believe I offer a unique perspective on dating because of the fact that who I am is based on such a strong old-school source who did things the right way.

 

So What Do You Do?

 What you need to do is take a step back and realize what works…. What will make this game as easy as possible and do that. I illustrated above that cold approach is cool… but it’s not king. Proximity (or social circle) is king. That’s what will give you the best chance to get chicks because in many instances that familiarity of knowing similar people has already set that foundation of comfort. That should be your priority…. Getting cool friends/setting up a social circle. Cold approach pick-up should not be your primary means of social interaction. At best it is a supplement, an activity you rely on to meet new chicks every now and then.

 

Law 7: This Game is both SHORT TERM and LONG TERM

One night stands are cool. They’re fun and exciting. Every guy fantasizes about this from high school on… going out to the bar or club. They meet some smoking hot chick take her back to the crib and bang her brains out all night long. What’s the number one thing every dude wants to experience in college? Going out on the weekends, getting faded and pulling hot chicks back to their dorm room.

What do you think Vegas is for? Dudes go there because they want to live out the one night stand fantasy. Chicks go there because they also want to live out that fantasy. But that’s exactly what it is…. A fantasy for the most part. There’s nothing special about it. Nothing epic really. You go out, hit on chicks, and if you’re lucky you meet a hot chick who is really hot/down and take care of business.

However, for some reason, the PUA community seems to equate one’s ability to get one night stands frequently with being good with women. That’s a lie. I know some guys that have high lay counts (almost exclusively from pulling chicks from bars/clubs) and they are terrible with women. They’re terrible because they can’t keep them. In many cases, it really was just a bad call on the chick’s part and they absolutely regret ever meeting the dude.

The truth is you don’t really need to be “good” with women on a communication level to get one night stands (short game). All you really need is to play the numbers game, be in the right place at the right time (meet a chick who is down/kind of drunk), have good logistics, and have a closing mentality. You have that bare minimum going for you, give off the vibe of a normal dude and you go out enough…. You’re going to get laid. It will happen.

However, the truth of the matter is, that only addresses the short game. I know from experience… very few guys want to perpetually go through living the player lifestyle of just hitting new chicks forever. In fact, I’d say that deep down a lot of guys do have getting a girlfriend as their true goal in wanting to learn this dating stuff.

For the most part, PUA stuff does not teach this. It does not answer the question of “Okay, I got the girl… now what?” It neglects authenticity and never really puts much emphasis on keeping the girl. Instead, it teaches guys, “Do these techniques/tactics to game the chick. If you can’t bang her, it’s because your game is not good enough. If you can, great. Your game is getting better. Keep working on it and one day you will reach the pinnacle where you have a harem of 10’s.” Again, if you are really honest you will see how full of it most teachers are. Because to most teachers, everything is quick… everything down to the way they do business. There’s no regard for really trying to help a dude out long term. The game plan is to get the dude to take a bootcamp as fast as possible. The teachings are also geared towards the short term…. Making up some stories about becoming a player by getting a few one night stands.

I have personally seen (and been contacted by) some examples where this situation played out.

Newbie in Vegas mansion– Last summer, I met a kid who blew thousands of dollars to go live in a pick-up mansion for a prominent company because he wanted to get good with women. He went out every night and had a few one night stands. He went back to school in the Fall and according to him when he contacted me, everything had fallen apart. He called me and claimed that his “game” fell off and he didn’t know why. He still went out every night and had only pulled and banged a few chicks. They all ignored his texts afterwards though. What happened?

What happened was that he was never good with women (or people in general), to begin with. Furthermore, his program never addressed any of the aspects that truly mattered when it comes to getting women and more importantly, keeping them. He got some one night stands in Vegas and thought that meant his game was “getting advanced.” It wasn’t, he just went out all the time in Vegas and had good logistics. Vegas was just an opportunity to get girls short term because of the nature of the city. This kid’s fundamental problems were never addressed… making him cooler, better looking, dressing better, more jacked, learning how to recognize the right people to associate with…. None of that was worked on. Clearly, there was no effort put in to work on this kid’s long term game. As a result, he’s sort of stuck in this rut where his entire social existence is going to college parties by himself (with no friends) trying to pick-up chicks. That’s not conducive to real long-term success. I remember the last question he asked me… “So how do you get a girlfriend?” Bingo. There’s the dagger. That’s the PUA community in a nutshell. Spend all this time working on mastering quick lays and yet really addressing how to get a girlfriend.

Let’s dig deeper and see why this is. The reason again is rooted in fantasy. A guy wants to get good with women and make up for his early lack of success so he goes on this never ending quest to become a player. The problem however, it that he never actually takes the time to develop himself into a high quality product (conditioning himself to be cool through a cool lifestyle). Instead, he relies upon learning pick-up with no set foundation. As a result, he’s a shoddy product and no amount of pick-up knowledge is going to mask his lack of coolness/social intelligence. He might bang some chicks over the years. But he doesn’t really have a chance to keep them because beneath all the pick-up tactics, theory and game…. It’s pretty much fake it till you make it. But he’s still the same self-conscious dude with social anxiety who is just not cool. Eventually, the girl figures this out and wants nothing to do with him.

Surprisingly, this represents a lot of guys who consider themselves to be PUA Masters or even guys who have “been in the game” for a while. They talk about going out all the time and constantly bringing home new girls and what not… but there’s one problem. Why do they keep going out? If they are truly good with women, why keep going out to nightclubs wasting money on cover charges/alcohol and losing sleeping trying to scrap for girls until early in the morning? And I’m not buying that it’s that fun and exciting. It’s not…. Not enough to spend years doing the same stuff over and over.

No, the reason why they continue doing the whole pick-up girls at bars /clubs thing is that they must do it. Their entire game plan for dating is based upon the short game. They are not able to keep girls and do not have long-term game. The foundation of social coordination and in many cases mental healthiness is not there. Everything is based upon the implementation of some sort of theory, tactic or trick that they read on a forum. They are unable to rely purely on their own instinct and just be genuine. They almost approach this in a robotic matter… pushing whatever buttons and using whatever manipulation to try and bang the chick. Again, there’s nothing necessary wrong with that if you are indeed looking for that same night lay. But what happens when it comes time when they do want to make that chick more than a one night stand? They just can’t do it a lot of the time.

 

So What Do You Do?

Well, my advice is to actually make yourself into that  awesome dude who is naturally attractive versus relying on PUA as a means to skim on true self-improvement and essentially fake it to you make it. Women are fooled all the time by dudes who say they are good but in reality are jerks. They will cling onto the hope that you are a good dude even if you prove otherwise right in front of their face. They just won’t want to admit it. That’s not the case though when it comes to how cool or level headed you seem to be. Chicks can sum you up pretty fast. They can tell if a dude is cool or not. You can’t really fake that. More importantly, they can tell early on if you are going to be a needy  just by the way you call or text.

Ultimately, you have to focus on the short term and the long term. You really shouldn’t rely on PUA to just go through life trying to bring home a new chick every night. You need balance. You need to become well-rounded. Best case scenario is really going through your dating life in phases…. Phases where you have different goals. At some points, yes, it’s a good idea to be in cooze hound mode where you are trying to hit everything. However, there are also times where I believe you should try to date one chick… if anything just to take a break from it all. In order to fully have a grasp on what works and what you are doing you need to get experience both in the short term and the long term. I would actually go far as to say the long term is more important because getting a chick in a committed relationship actually proves that you have what it takes to keep her…. Obviously, something you did was working enough to keep her around for a long period of time. It wasn’t a fluke. Do that instead of falling into the trap of constantly chasing the quick fix and only that for years at a time. Don’t be that guy that can only have a factory-like dating life where you hit a new chick and have to get a new immediately because the previous one wants nothing to do with you and viewed that night as a big mistake.

 

Law 8: You Cannot Win With Logic

I understand where most guys are coming from. I do. I get that most guys that get into this are usually very intelligent logical, individuals who typically work in some sort of computer or engineering field. And that’s great. They contribute a lot of value to society. However, when that same reliance on brains is applied toward getting good with women, it makes things a lot more difficult. And the reason is simple.

 

You can’t logic your way into a chick’s pants.

 

You really can’t. This game is all about vibe. There is no step by step method or list you can run through on every single girl and get 100% success. It can’t happen and it won’t happen.

Because of the fact that this game is about vibe and all these chicks are different, there will always be little adjustments that you must be aware of in your interaction. I guess that’s another trap that guys fall into when they first discover the community.

 

They begin to think of women as some sort of problem that can be solved with the implantation of a universal formula (in the form of theories, tactics, and methods).

 

It’s not true. There is no formula or method that teaches eye contact, social coordination, or flirting (the stuff that will really make or break you in a conversation). There’s none. You get that stuff by actually becoming that cool, attractive dude that women like.

Nothing good comes from looking at women like robots where you can just do/say the same stuff and use the same tactics to get them. I keep repeating myself but it is necessary for this law. You cannot think of this sgame in terms of formulas and equations. It makes you think way too much.

 

When it comes to anything in life, thinking too much is usually very bad for you.

 

For instance when I used to play baseball, anytime I was in a slump, it was usually when I was thinking the most/in my own head at the plate. I would be so self-conscious about so much…. “Is my timing right? Am I holding my bat at the right angle? Am I bending my knees too much? Is my stride too far when I load up? I gotta remember to load up. I gotta keep the front elbow down. I gotta keep my hands tight and inside the baseball.” Thinking too much often messed me up and caused slumps.

On the other hand, I didn’t think about anything when I was launching shots into the parking lot. I just went up there and did all the rights things I had been doing for years. I wasn’t going through this mental checklist in my head about all the stuff that worked and pressuring myself to do it. I knew what worked for me and I just did it.

The same applies to getting girls. I see so many dudes who study PUA and I can tell that they are going through this mental checklist in their head of what they have to do. Open a chick. Spin her around. Touch at certain points in the interaction. The result is that it doesn’t look smooth. It looks very routine and most importantly there’s nothing authentic about it. It looks choppy and you can always tell the chick is wondering to herself what is going on. The bottom line is it’s weird. And I’ve seen it way too many times for it not to be considered a problem that needs to be addressed.

The phrase “too smart for your own good” gets thrown around a lot but I think it’s definitely true for a lot of dudes who get into pick-up. They think too much and are too smart for their own good. They sort of operate in extreme logic mode of trying to hyper-analyze every little thing in an interaction and apply some sort of formula to solve the problem. This is a recipe for disaster.

 

So How Do you Fix This?

You have to stop thinking so much. Obviously, this is easier said than done. But I think the first step, a dude needs to do is truly understand that logic won’t win the game. Logic has its place in the professional world but relying upon it in social interactions is not a good game plan. Truth be told… logical, dry conversations are boring. Nobody cares. People want entertaining conversations where they are truly enjoying the interaction. This is especially true when it comes to women.

There’s a difference between a dude who goes through a mental checklist with a chick where he’s sort of just running through everything in a step by step process versus the dude who just wings it and acts in the moment and vibes with a chick. The first dudes comes across awkward meaning not cool. In the chick’s mind there is something off about him, which is why she has to go find her friends or go to the bathroom. The second dude comes across smooth and just plain old good at holding a conversation. There’s nothing weird about him. If the chick is available/down, this dude has a good shot.

The overall problem is difficult to fix because it is very conditional. I’m the complete opposite because I’m never in my own head. I’m not thinking at all really when I talk to a chick. It just flows. But that’s largely the result of my own life experiences over the years…. Partying, listening to a lot of rap, and being in the company of other people all throughout my high school and college years.

I do have a few ideas on how I could help guys get out of the habit of being so logical in how they approach getting chicks. I’m thinking I will work on these to create a future program.

 

Law 9: Success with Women is NOT a Skill… It is Part of a Lifestyle

I’m not sure why I picked that picture…. Probably just because Derek Jeter is so awesome. Superstar athlete taming superstar strange. Anyway, yeah my dating advice also differs from mainstream pick-up advice because here getting girls is not viewed as a skill. There are certain smaller aspects that absolutely require skills… such as general social skills.

But the bottom line is, this is a lifestyle. Getting good with women and getting laid is not a skill. A skill implies something that gets better with repetition and gets worse if you stop.

That just doesn’t describe how someone is when they are truly good with women. Here’s my personal example. From August 2013 until January 2014, I had one girlfriend. That was it. I wasn’t going out to bars/clubs or approaching chicks trying to get laid. I had one chick that I spent time with and slept with. Traditional PUA teaches that this is bad for your game. I had one-itis and once I was single again I would go through a period of time of being rusty because I wasn’t working on my pick-up skills. I would have to sharpen my pick-up skills and get used to going out again…. And I actually heard this from a bunch of guys I know that are really into this. “No, Sonny your game’s gonna suffer. You have to go out and work on your skills.” Ok cool story bro. Well, that’s not reality and that’s not how it played out.

Earlier this month we broke up and I moved to a new city. It was my first time going out regularly in a while… my first time approaching chicks in a while. This was my test did my game suffer? No, it did not. I was exactly the same person as I have always been. First week in town I hit 5 chicks and I had only went out 3 nights. Going out and doing that is nothing special to me. And to be perfectly honest it’s not as enjoyable as having one high quality girl to spend time with. But the point is, I’m someone who grew up viewing this as part of an overall lifestyle.

The only skill is people skills. The instinct and closer mentality is something that has just been solidified over time. Getting chicks or picking up chicks was never a skill that required specific repetition. The repetition aspect simply came about from constantly talking to people and being in the company of people because of my love for interacting with others.

Unfortunately, traditional pick-up does not specify this because they just emphasize getting chicks as a skill that requires extreme repetition… going out 7 days a week and doing hundreds maybe even thousands of approaches. This is not conducive to the creation of any type of lifestyle because there’s no balance. So many guys spend an extreme amount of time on this. By default, they actually do put women on a pedestal because they put so much time and effort into “learning this skill.”

 

You’re not learning a skill. You’re making yourself better in numerous areas and creating a LIFESTYLE.

 

That’s what you need to be thinking. Don’t get caught up in thinking this is some skill that you need to constantly work on or else something bad will happen such as you “losing your game.”

I’ve seen dudes fall into that trap so many times. It’s actually very common to read about on forums as well. Dudes “got out of the game” for a while and want to “get back in.” They see themselves as having to start over. Why? It’s because they were not social to begin with. They weren’t good with people and by default were not good with women. A dude who is fundamentally social and actually good with women will always be that way. He can actually never go out to a bar or nightclub ever again and still have a great dating life. He could have been married for decades, get divorced and decide to “get back out there” and get a new chick immediately. And I have actually seen that, where a friend’s dad got a divorce and was with a 28 year old about a week later. Why? Because he was a people person who made being an overall attractive person to people a lifestyle. One of the perks of that is that solid foundation of being good with women.

 

So How Do You Do This?

 Well, you pretty much need to get out of the mindset that this is some skill you can master with repetition and an extreme amount of time dedicated to it. It doesn’t work like that. And the horror stories that see on forums of guys doing thousands of approaches and not getting any results should clearly indicate that. Furthermore, all the stories you read about guys who were so called “players” who lost their skills because they dated one girl for a while should also be a red flag…

This is not a skill. And it shouldn’t be handled as such. It’s not like baseball where hours of tee work will actually make you a better hitter. Hours of approaching everyday really won’t make you better with women or more attractive. The only thing it will do is increase your chances in the numbers game. But even then if you have glaring flaws… it’s pretty much a waste of time.

What you need to do is always keep the big picture in mind… that you should be creating a lifestyle. You should be improving yourself in several key areas of life that will just make you a better, more confident person. That’s what will enable you to build the dating life you truly want. That’s how you do things the right way. And that’s how you actually become that guy who can get high quality girls (and keep them) for the rest of your life versus the pretenders who view this as a skill that they can quickly pick-up on and master.

 

Law 10: Be Honest and OWN IT

It was difficult to narrow it down to a final law that I felt would truly make my guide complete. But I am content with this one. I think one of the most overlooked concepts when it’s comes to learning this dating stuff is honesty. I’m talking about honesty with one’s self.

 

You need to be honest with yourself. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What do you want out of all of this?

 

Do you truly want to live out the life of someone who goes through life just hitting as many chicks as possible with no connection made and just live off of the one-night stand? That’s not me. And you know something, that’s not the majority of guys.

Most guys really just want a girlfriend deep down and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you own it. When you meet that one high quality chick that you really click with, spend time with her and try to see where it goes. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t think you have to live up to some standard or follow some nerd’s advice on the Internet just because you have to. You do what you gotta do. You do what makes you happy.

Most importantly, you own it. Trust your instinct and do what will make yourself a better man in the long run. When I was dating that one chick, I heard a lot of talk from my “pick-up” friends. I just didn’t care. I didn’t. It was best for me at the time and it made me happy. Cool, they went out to clubs/bars to try to get laid sometimes. I sent a text and drove 10 minutes to get laid whenever I wanted. But I owned it. I was honest with myself and did what was best for me. I have all the tools to be a lifelong player… but it’s not me, that won’t make me happy. I’m someone who currently needs to go through phases of seeing one chick and then jumping back into animal mode. Eventually, when I’m much older I do plan on settling down. That’s me.

 

The question is who are you and how are you going to consistently get what you want out of a dating life?

 

I would also argue that this applies to the actual process of meeting chicks and banging them…. Having an element of honesty to it. Tell her you find her attractive and go from there. That’s a huge way to screen out a chick. It basically communicates to a chick what you said. You found her attractive and you’re interested. Everyone knows what guys like doing with attractive chicks…. So own it.

Most importantly be honest with yourself especially with this area of self-improvement. Most guys in society are not satisfied with their dating life. Most guys go out for drinks with their boys on the weekends, get hammered, don’t talk to any girls, and then crank down to porn before their pass out. They never do anything to improve their dating life. They just roll with the punches and accept what they’ve been dealt.

Don’t ever settle for scraps. If this an area that you want to improve then do something about it. Plain and simple.

 

Conclusion

I want to thank everyone that has taken the time to read my 10 Laws on Game/Dating. It’s a lot of stuff but it really just boils down to 10 simple concepts. I did it this way because this is an area that I want to help guys out it. A healthy dating life is important to a man’s well-being and cannot be ignored. I wrote these 10 Laws as the basis for anything I will ever teach on this site with regard to dating/game. Any project… any program… any video blog on the subject will all relate back to this.

There is to be no confusion. No scam where I am introducing new concepts or going back on earlier teachings. This is it. These will be my 10 Laws a year from now… 5 years from now… 10 years from now. I value these so much that if I had a son who just “didn’t get it”… this is where I would start with him.

My goal is that this will come to be considered the definitive guide on this subject that guys can refer back to in their journey to get this part of their life handled. I will always be open to questions you guys may have and I am hopeful that this will help as many guys as possible. That’s it for now. I’ll see ya soon!

 

Sonny

 

Previous post

Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part I)

Next post

Turn Back the Clock and BECOME A SOCIAL PERSON

 

76 Comments

  1. Milun
    February 24, 2014 at 10:48 am — Reply

    Sonny, I cannot say how brilliant and wonderful this two part article has been. You have helped me get a very solid mindset about women and dating and I’m sure it will help countless other guys do so as well. I admit I got sucked into the PU community for a few months last year. But I soon realised what a load of BULLSHIT it was. That was when I decided to really own my life and live it to the fullest while always striving to be the best I can be. That’s why I love reading blogs / watching vlogs from guys like you, Thomas from BoyToy, and Derrek from ManOfVigor. Because we share similar mindsets in life. Greetings from Sydney and looking forward to more awesome stuff from you!

    • February 25, 2014 at 3:32 am — Reply

      Thanks for stopping by. It’s good that you were able to recognize potentially falling into the trap early on. Some guys really do end up really doing some damage to themselves by falling into the cult follower role.

  2. redbill
    February 25, 2014 at 10:55 am — Reply

    h!, wow that was solid. All two post I’ve read it, the thing is I don’t have cool friends. I’m a former addict dota gamer and my friends also are, but now that I’ve changed. I found myself mostly alone. Right now I’m following 30 days of discipline program by B&D blog. I’m drifting apart from my past social circle,being gamer doesnt satisfy me anymore.The thing is I’m still living with my mom, my father is absent for he works abroad.Right now, I’m self-educating myself on programming and finance,which is what I do when I’m not in school. I can’t seem to find people who shares the same mission as I am,most of them are just contented,by this I found myself mostly on my own. My question is, is it advisable for me to do the drills in goodlookingloser(actually I’m doing it, and I’m on week 4,and I’m stopping for a while to get some dates) or I have to at least form/join another social circle that is conducive to this lifestyle. If not where should I start to look for people for this lifestyle.and lastly, should I focus more in self-educating myself to acquire necessary skills to be location-independent or should I focus on this dating life early on.BTW, I’m from Philippines,still 19 years of age approaching 20.and yes, a virgin(I hate to say this).

    I’m glad I’ve found your site and others,before I’m a definite believer in D Angelo cocky and funny. but the way I see it looking back. I could have get thos chicks If I haven’t been too hard to them.

    Cheers,
    redbill

    • February 26, 2014 at 12:06 am — Reply

      Thanks for stopping by and cool to see that your from the Philippines!

      I mean you’re 19…. school is really the best place for you to get a social circle. Take advantage of it because once your school days are gone… they are gone. As far as what you should be focusing on I think one potential pitfall I could see with you is thinking in absolutes… that you can only focus on your dating life or only focus on your future career.

      You absolutely DO NOT WANT to neglect a social life/getting girls in favor of burying yourself in your career at the young age of 19. Your high school/college years are prime time don’t waste it focusing solely on career. I saw that storyline play out many times in college… the pre-med students who studied all the time and never partied. I got the sense that some of them were almost bitter towards the kids who were living it up in college and were motivated by “someday”… Someday, I’ll be a rich surgeon who can get a smoking hot wife… Worry about right now. That type of thinking of hoping that one day you will be good enough in some distant future is poison.

      I think you absolutely need to be making friends/getting a social circle. To me that’s more important than doing approach drills. You need to be relating with other people around your age. Now is the perfect opportunity for you… it really disappears once you’re done with school.

  3. Andrew
    February 26, 2014 at 6:04 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    This is the best post I have seen in a long time about this subject. I have been a reader of a site called GirlsChase.com and I have thought it the best so far on the subject, now I think this post alone has one upped it. I would like your thoughts on GC as they seem to have some good understanding of women but over there, cold approach is king and I have been beating myself up to get good at this.

    Now I look back at my past successes with women in high school and understand how social circle was most likely the root of it. I always wondered why a bone skinny, hairy skater kid would from time to time be pursued by hot girls. I really did not keep them around but they were definitely new ones regularly. I was friends with the coolest kids in school and my best friends, ones I had known for years, were some of the coolest of the cool (damn, looking back I had a great situation!) and by association was pretty well known, I was also immune to clics as I was friends with the coolest of each clic and mingled with them all. One of my best friends was a notorious bad boy and super-lady-killer. I remember one of the hottest girls I was ever with mentioned (with a little disappointment) how she thought I was “more of a bad boy” because I hung out with that dude.

    Also used to be in a band, girls were once again at my door.

    Now in my senior year of college, I have lost the edge and also the flow of hot girls. I have really been a lone wolf and now plan to rethink social circles because not only do I miss the women, but I miss the connection with cool people. Luckily I am about to release some music with a new really awesome band 😉

    Thank you for helping me realize how important people are, and to get my head out of my ass!

    You’re awesome.

    P.s. Maybe do a post on masculinity, because I think part of my issue of keeping girls around is my submissive/passive, “let the girl make the move” habits that are dying hard. Although I did have a great social circle in high school, once a girl got to know me she lost the interest the circle generated. The times I have been more manly recently I noticed much better chemistry and its more fun for both the girl and myself.

    • February 27, 2014 at 5:44 am — Reply

      It seems like a KJ site that has generic PUA articles based off of years of forum browsing vs. actual experience. When you consider the source, always question the hell out of it. For instance, I saw the picture of the main author there… could I really picture him cold approaching chicks and them wanting to fuck his brains out? Really?…. It’s just a very generic site that has pictures of girls up on the main page that are way hotter than they probably ever get (common with PUA companies). They do this to rope guys in.

      The difference is my advice on this topic comes from actual experience. I think that’s a big reason why it differs from the majority of the stuff in this community. Again, reading an article on text game from that site… very generic, it’s the same shit that guys have been writing e-books about for years. It’s all theory on what they think works vs what is actually known to work through experience. For instance, they spew all this shit about hot vs cold texting or whatever…. based on my experience texting is pointless unless the chick is already down. I’ll definitely write an article on texting. It will be simple and will include examples.

      Yea with you… your lack of game isn’t your fundamental problem. It’s your lack friends. Definitely use being in a band to your advantage.
      It’s good that you realized that let the girl make the move doesn’t work in real life… that only happens in the movies

  4. Matt
    February 27, 2014 at 7:41 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    Just wanted to say this is very solid advice. The point I want to discuss though is about social circles. What you said about social circles being the King for getting with women is absolutely true, plus it is fun and there is no “work” involved (everybody thats done cold approach for some time knows what I mean when I talk about “work”). But one shouldn´t select a social circle just to get laid or to get women, this is a big trap many guys could potentially fall into. Get into social circles because you genuinely enjoy the people and the activities! Don´t think about women or better said don´t make women you´re priority (they are just a part of life), meanwhile get as good looking as possible (work out, good haircut, stylish clothes) and get masculine male friends that dress well and are somewhat popular. If you´re out of school and college, join social activities that you genuinly like doing and get to know people there. All in all follow Sonny´s 1st rule: BE A SOCIAL MOTHERFUCKER!

    • February 28, 2014 at 1:15 am — Reply

      Yea this is very difficult because the truth is being cool is really the underlying issue with most dudes… But that’s something I can definitely help guys work on

  5. Tom
    February 28, 2014 at 6:14 am — Reply

    You can’t put a value on this information… In a world where BS huffintonpost/buzzfeed articles are shoved in our faces every day, It’s great to see posts like this which aren’t afraid to speak frankly about the way the world really is and concise things you have to do to improve your life and become a real man. Keep doing what you’re doing Sonny.

    • March 3, 2014 at 4:10 am — Reply

      Yup all my articles will always have examples/stories based off of actual experience….

  6. alex
    February 28, 2014 at 11:37 pm — Reply

    Hi sonny very good article!
    My issue is I workout, I have good style, I have been told I’m good looking and have good style, I go out every weekend with my best mate who gets laid all time with hot girls and is popular, I approach and talk to girls in the clubs and some during the day, I have taken care of all the fundamentals, but I have little to show for it in terms of success/getting laid.
    Do you know of why this may be? doesn’t make sense.

    • March 3, 2014 at 4:09 am — Reply

      It’s difficult to give dating advice to someone online. You don’t know what they look like, what their deal is…. The only thing you have to go off of is what they wrote, which is why PUA forums are really useless.

      My guess is there is something else that is your issue which is hindering your results

    • Cam..
      March 3, 2014 at 7:45 am — Reply

      Yo. I used to have an issue similar to this..

      I had a lot of stuff handled except..one day my home girl asked me why I keep walking around with this mean mug on my face. I didn’t know that i was coming across as someone that took shit too seriously lol. So I chilled out and started smiling more often. That did it for me.

      I’m thinking it might be something similar.. Others peep that shit but you don’t.

      Just my 2 cents.

      • March 4, 2014 at 12:07 am — Reply

        Yup. Sometimes a female opinion can be useful.

  7. March 1, 2014 at 3:15 pm — Reply

    Sonny, great part II. You are a much-needed fresh breeze to the usual bullshit around. Keep sharing your knowledge and experiences, so we can mute those fuckin weirdo “PUA” monkey nerds for good.

    • March 3, 2014 at 4:07 am — Reply

      Thanks brotha! Yea definitely got a lot more info that can help guys out.

  8. Kenny
    March 3, 2014 at 7:16 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny,
    I liked the article a lot. I’m wondering why you make it sound like cold approaching is so hard though? I’ve been doing it for 2 years now and I really only use it as my sole source of getting laid. Not trying to be rude but is it possible you may think you’re better looking than you really are? I don’t find it to be much of a hassle personally.

    • March 3, 2014 at 11:56 pm — Reply

      Cold approach is not hard at all if you are a good looking dude. If a dude is not naturally good looking and does not give off the vibe of a cool socially coordinated dude… it can be very difficult.

      It’s way easier to get in with a good group of friends and get laid that way…. even when there are flaws in your looks that hold you back (see the 2 examples in part II).

      • Kenny
        March 4, 2014 at 9:52 pm — Reply

        That’s true Sonny. A group of cool friends is beneficial as well. Cold approach has it’s ups and downs but man you can score with some hot women that you would normally have never met. I walked into a woman’s underwear store one day and boldly introduced myself to this knockout brunette and had her in bed later that night.

        • March 5, 2014 at 4:18 am — Reply

          Absolutely that’s why every dude should get some experience cold approaching chicks at some point in their life.

  9. March 5, 2014 at 5:17 pm — Reply

    I think this is the most legit and eye opening post ever. This post just presents a cool fun and simple lifestyle. I mean like seriously just normal lifestyle without any bullshit. I’m sure everyone has one friend that is just good with woman and he has not the skill with woman but he lives the lifestyle of a social cool guy. I just realized after reading these 2 parts that i was just blind to the true life all around me.

    Above all what worked for me I got to know what I am. I accepted it. That made me realize that there must be a change otherwise i would rot in my video games and drown in the pick up shit. I always thought its the skill i have to get. Since short i really get to understand big part of life since i started hitting the gym. Now a month further I already realized. To get big, strong and ripped this what i am doing now need to be done for 2-4 years maybe. So there is no way around it. This is a must to BE that ripped strong guy! After that acceptance I created love and fun happy feeling for going to the gym and the habit is also implemented. So from here I’m just improving my lifestyle in this category.

    My big question is:
    I really deeply believe that i can be that guy who is social and fun to be around becuase there are parts of life when i was like that. I mean just instantly like im changed from being introvert to extravert. My biggest challenge and I believe the thing that stops me from success with woman is my thinking. Can you give me any advice on just stopping to think and be the 100% present? I experimented with so many things really. What helps me is cold showers they just bring me so much in the moment that i can almost feel the very drops of water going of whatever part of my body i focus on. I can feel the shivers and the goosepumps of the cold. I just feel massive magical change. I have no words to give a great explanation for it. Sadly it works only for like 15 min or so then just fades.

    I hope you can give me a tip on that and I really appreciate you reading this.
    Thanks

    • March 6, 2014 at 1:48 am — Reply

      Thanks man. The best advice I can give you is to try an live as oldschool as possible, meaning almost pretend like it was 1980 instead of 2014. I’m talking about the shit you do everyday. If it was 1980, you wouldn’t be glued to your tv/computer, you wouldn’t be tempted to watch internet porn, you wouldn’t be glued to YouTube/Facebook/Internet forums or any other shit on the Internet, you wouldn’t be looking down at your smartphone every second…

      If it was 1980, you would have to get out of the house and be in the company of people if you wanted to have fun/be entertained. Try and apply that mindset to your everyday life. Become unplugged… turn you phone off for a few days. Don’t watch tv for a month. Stay away from the computer for a few days.

      • March 6, 2014 at 11:41 am — Reply

        I was thinking to just stop using my computer. But your advice is great again here you showing me a lifestyle. Big thank you Sunny. I will definitely use this advise its gold.

        This article helped me a lot. Keep on writing I believe in your advice strongly.

        • March 7, 2014 at 3:48 am — Reply

          Thanks man!

  10. FORTIS
    March 8, 2014 at 6:06 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    I found your article via boytoystory (another cool website I frequent) and I must say that you give great advice. What blows me away is that you’re about my age, but you have so knowledge to impart. Great stuff.

    Thanks,

    Fortis

    • March 8, 2014 at 6:12 pm — Reply

      Thanks bro! Yea man I’ve got a ton of experience for someone my age. BoyToy does too

  11. Adam Shaheen
    March 10, 2014 at 2:42 am — Reply

    Wow this PUA stuff is going to take a lot of unwiring. I really think of SWW as a skill more than anything else… So does this mean I should ditch my long term plan of living in a city I’m not happy with — but one where I can go out solidly trying to work on cold approach with my wingmen?

    Great post 🙂

    • March 11, 2014 at 2:23 am — Reply

      Yea that’s probably the biggest thing that PUA just gets wrong… it’s not a skill. It’s not like baseball where if you didn’t swing a bat for a few months you would have to shake off the rust. When done right it is a lifestyle…. it will never die. This is because the basis of success with women is success with people in general.

      No, don’t move to a shitty city just because you want to work on cold approach. You would be making women your priority in that case at the expense of your overall happiness.

  12. Simon
    March 12, 2014 at 5:18 pm — Reply

    Hi Sonny, just read both parts of your article and I must say it is fantastic! Good job on the write up, this clarifies a lot of things for me. I have a question I was hoping you could answer, I had posted it to the forums with barely any replies but it is important to me. I hope you can give me your perspective on what I should do:

    I’m hoping to get some advice on where to meet women..A bit about myself: I live in London (half an hour away from the city by tube), and I work 9-5. I am overweight and am working on getting in shape; however I am big all over. People never say that I look fat but rather that I look like a bouncer or rugby player because of my build.

    I currently follow Boy Toy’s method of meeting women where I wait for eye contact before approaching. The problem with this is I need to be in an area with women around. There is a shopping area close to my house however if I go there after work the shops would be shut and there will be only a few people around. Another option is to spend my evenings in Central London but heading there after work will tire me out too much and also, I’m afraid that going there alone with the sole purpose of meeting women will put me too much into my own head and I will end up walking around not doing any approaches and being frustrated. I generally prefer approaching women when Im relaxed. Say I’m in a coffee shop or taking a stroll around the shopping area near my house, and I notice a girl giving me eye contact, then I don’t mind approaching her.

    There are no women around my office area that are my type, from what I’ve seen working here for the past 6 years. Based on the above, what do you think I should do? Should I just make it a point to go to the shopping area near my place every evening for a quick stroll and see what I can get, or should I go into London city 4-5 times a week and try my luck there despite the low energy I’ll be feeling? I do not like nightclubs and I am also looking to make meeting women part of my life and not just do it twice a week on the weekends.

    Thanks Sonny!

    • March 13, 2014 at 12:14 am — Reply

      Thanks dude. First off, you shouldn’t follow anyone’s method. What works for one guy might not work for you… the purpose of anything in self-improvement is mastery. Finding your own unique formula and mastering that. That being said I don’t think you need eye contact to approach.

      What you need is efficiency. The 9-5 grind really isn’t conducive to trying to do the whole pick-up thing and bang as many girls as possible. Like you said it’s tiring. What you need to focus on is first being sure to take advantage of all those little opportunities that pop up in random places throughout the day.

      I currently work 7-5 and run this site… I go out on the weekends but have no time to dedicate to meeting/banging chicks during the week. I still do it though because I don’t let opportunities pass me by. For instance, I met a chick at the gym Monday. I’ve texted her and we’ve spoken on the phone once. I got a date set up with her later tonight. It is 100% a done deal. Truth is I don’t even have time for it but I can’t let this one slip by because she is so down.

      You gotta really make sure you are taking advantage of all the little opportunities you come across in your daily routine. There’s chicks everywhere…

      • simon
        March 13, 2014 at 9:01 am — Reply

        Hi Sonny, thanks for the quick reply. Your advice is spot on, the issue is that I am hardly ever in a place that has many women- I leave by bus to get to work in the morning (same faces on the bus, mostly men), then I’m in the office until 5, get back home. I’l then waste time online for couple of hours before going to the gym which is a powerlifting gym with no women. Then back home, waste more time online, sleep and repeat.

        You had mentioned in another article about how addiction to technology is making people more reserved and that one method is to spend time outside. I’m wondering if I should at least just make it a point to head somewhere after work, if not for the sole purpose of picking up women then at least just so I can avoid wasting time online. What are your thoughts? Or do you feel I should stick with my current routine and just head out on the weekends? The main issue I face is that there aren’t many women I come across on my usual daily routine as I live in the suburbs.

        • March 13, 2014 at 10:49 pm — Reply

          You don’t have time to waste… especially in front of a computer. Do everything you can to be in contact with as many people as possible. Hang out in a coffee shop or get some food at a pub during Happy Hour.

  13. March 23, 2014 at 6:42 am — Reply

    Law 6: Cold Approach is Cool… But it’s not KING

    I really agree with this. Cold approach is not the most effective for getting laid, but it’s great to introduce people to the concept that they can step outside of their comfort zone and do things in which the average Joe couldn’t even fathom. This stands true with any type of phobia in which someone can face… we grow into superior versions of ourselves.

    • March 24, 2014 at 3:02 am — Reply

      Yes. Guys should incorporate both. Having a cool social circle while also having the ability to cold approach pretty much gives you the power to do whatever the fuck you want.
      The only thing that matters at the end of the day is whether or not you can get laid… if you can bang hot chicks relying entirely upon social circle then there’s really no motivation to cold approach

  14. […] Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part II) […]

  15. […] White guys can increase their odds by just improving all the shit that matters. I talk about it all in my very first two dating articles, Part I and Part II. […]

  16. June 5, 2014 at 8:26 pm — Reply

    Very cool post. I was referred to Part 1 via boytoystory, I think.
    Am I missing the search bar on this site?

    • June 6, 2014 at 10:36 pm — Reply

      No. This site is still in it’s hood rat dats… working on a new design that will hopefully be ready by the end of the month.

  17. June 19, 2014 at 1:55 am — Reply

    just finished the whole thing, wow man I am impressed, it took me long because I am a slow speaker and reader but it was worth the time, I also spread the love around some friends that hold on to their pua bullshit, I hope they will open up a bit and read this masterpiece. many thanks sonny, you just opened my mind in a positive way!

    • June 19, 2014 at 6:17 am — Reply

      Thanks bro! Good to hear!

  18. zindane
    August 14, 2014 at 11:54 pm — Reply

    Sure, social skills matter but game does exist.

    • August 15, 2014 at 1:50 am — Reply

      1) There is no evidence that they bang hot chicks left and right… As a matter of fact since I have actually interacted with instructors from that company, I know for a fact that it is not the case.

      Everything is greatly exaggerated with them.

      You just assume that.

      2) Game is a very misunderstood/watered down term. PUA guys do not understand game.

      Game = Social Skills + ability to close

      that’s it.

      It’s not a skill or something you can move up in levels like a nerdy video gamer…. It’s all conditional.

      you condition yourself to be good with people in general (this translates to women) and you learn to close/go for it… all the while you improve your life and appearance.

      It’s no secret that’s how it’s done.

      • zindane
        August 16, 2014 at 5:28 am — Reply

        They have plenty of proof,

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=wFTR9jNkeCg

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=tlWrFgIR6CU

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=qIU1WAdEu-g

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=W3PRAgwyKDA

        They definitely use game in those and Convert a lot of girls that were not into them to going home with them. Unless it’s faked which I highly doubt. granted these are just highlights, they have plenty of examples on there YouTube channel of turning maybe and no girls into yes girls.
        Had they not gamed them, or pushed through some initial resistance(plowed) they would have far Less sucess rate.

        I’m not a RSD troll btw, I’m being serious.

        • August 16, 2014 at 7:17 am — Reply

          I believe you are serious when you question me so here is my best answer for now (eventually I’ll do my own debunking everything about the PUA community series) Just read this for now. Here you go:

          1) I can read people/social situations/interactions better than most people. My upbringing and conditioning/good general emotional health enable me to do that.
          Since I am a legitimate expert on this shit…. I have taken the time to view infield footage of all the major gurus/pickup companies. I do not want to mention names but I will in this case. And for the future, I would appreciate if you do not link to pick-up companies.

          There is not one company/guru (that I have seen) that has 100% of their videos being legit. I can point out at least one infield video of a staged interaction featuring an actress (or someone that they obviously know) for each guru/company.

          Before I breakdown one of your provided examples… You need to stop thinking about dating in terms of game. I don’t know you. I have no idea what your dating life is. But I can tell you that think of all this shit in terms of the PUA definition of game.

          Game is social savviness (ability to socialize) plus ability to close that’s it. What you bring to the table increases your chances.
          There’s no such thing as turning a no girl into a yes. No girls will remain no girls for whatever reason (see screening articles).
          Those on the fencers are where game and greasing the wheels come into play.

          Here’s a breakdown of the last video link you posted. Keep in mind this video is heavily edited to appear as favorable as possible.

          Again, this is common sense shit. Anybody who has (had) experience getting chicks with ease in high school and college/anyone who has good peoples skills (can read a situation/read people) can see this shit… here you go:

          The first few clips are makeouts in Vegas… nothing special there.
          0:51- That’s a chick giving her number for a group meet-up. There’s nothing sexual about that interaction. There’s no indication that she is considering banging him.
          1:04- Little PUA dance
          1:09- brings chicks from outside to inside
          1:13-1:18- dancing with chick on dancefloor with some kissing
          1:19-1:26- talking to chicks in a bar
          1:44- Can tell she is a Latina chick… Todd’s an ok looking white guy. *** Check out my articles on racial screening. It’s not hard to get Latina white girls if you are an average looking white guy (John Smith game)
          1:51- making hot with hot chick
          1:58-2:14- talking with hot chick and the move over to another part of the club then the camera cuts to the other guy (clever editing- in reality, this proves nothing as far as whether or not he got anywhere with that chick)
          2:51-3:10- Again, more editting. There are brief clips where she is not into him. Some show her appearing to warm up to him. We’ll never know because of the editting.
          Interaction with tall chick that ends at 3:47- more editing. He got her out of the club though which puts the odds in his favor. Again, no evidence that they are specifically going back to his hotel room to fuck. (I know tons of PUA guys that pull tons of chicks from clubs a lot can’t close the the deal… because it was not made clear that they were leaving to fuck) So this interaction (to me at least really means nothing).
          Chick around 4:20- another edited interaction… He got a girl to agree to go get a drink. Cool.
          4:47- another Latina chick. Assuming that’s not an actress. He could have banged her.
          4:55- you have no idea what the chick looks like that he’s banging.
          5:15- He got a chicks number at a nightclub and says that he will call her in a week… If you know anything about going out to clubs that’s most likely a future flake.
          5:44- can’t tell for sure. Instinct tells me that’s an actress. She overemphasizes when she questions… “Your name’s Todd?” That’s poor acting if you ask me.
          6:01- Those girls are actresses. Would be money on it. What gives it away… Chicks says “I don’t even know you but I trust you.” Chicks don’t talk/act like that. They don’t say shit like that. Scripted. That vid is in Miami. I remember another questionable video of Julien in Miami where he seemingly pulls a girl during the day and she remarks “Okay let’s see where this goes.” Again, another scripted scene poorly based off of hollywood bullshit.
          6:26- Interaction is heavily edited again… don’t even know if it’s the same girl in the clips before it.
          7:22- 2 chunkie asian (or Latina) chicks… not really hot. Also he’s a white guy. for average looking white guys, chicks like that are money. That John Smith game.

          Nothing really impressive here. Not hating just telling it like it is. There is such little evidence that these guys actually get these chicks’ pussies wet, having them beg for there cock etc… it’s insane how gullible everyone it.

          Again, if there is someone that I think is legitimate I will gladly give them props and say they are awesome such as Thomas from BoyToy story.

          *** Look man, I got a lot experience with chicks. I read chicks like books. It’s like that for me with most people actually. You might question me and rightly so since I have not been able to put out my own infield footage yet.

          All I ask is that you be patient for now… I have a lot on my plate and just don’t have the time yet.

          But also take a look at the source and really pay attention to what I have to say… Do I seem like I know what I’m talking about/have actual experience?

          That’s for you to decide.

          Thanks for stopping by.

          – Sonny

          • zindane
            August 16, 2014 at 10:06 am

            Thanks Sonny For response. I guess I have been very confused as of late with all this pick/game stuff. I Am very new to this stuff, only been doing it for a little over 2 month going out 5-6 Night’s a week trying to improve my game. I have had sucess implementing RSD stuff but I have approached so many girls I can’t tell if it’s all the flasy shit I emulate That’s attracting them or if they are Just dtf to begin with. I guess I downplay a lot the basic normal guy approaches because so many sources say it’s afc/chode. Don’t get me wrong I have been rejected a lot but somehow in the back of my head I think approached bad or made mistakes/my game was off. And I mentally beat myself up.Then sometimes I have good nights and think my game is improving. Can’t tell if it’s placebo effect or not. I have been recently looking at a lot of repill blog’s such you it’s been a complete mind fuck because its so Complety contradictory to what I have learned thus far, which is has been pretty much pure RSD. I can’t say I have the best dating life I’m 24 never had a girlfriend. Before getting into pua I was a virgin, I now have 5 lays after doing this. I guess when I see all these sources that say looks don’t matter and show Themselves picking up girls, despite being ugly.I’m always thinking I can improve game even though I’m above average looking. Its actually been kind of frustrating because when I have bad night I think there is something wrong with and that I could have gamedthe girls better.Forgive me if I came off as being ass or being a Troll, I have just been finding all this shit so confusing, to honest I Feel like I have been sucked into a cult with a lot of the RSD stuff now that I’ve had time to reflect upon it.

          • August 17, 2014 at 5:01 am

            I’ll tell you right now.

            You won’t get good with girls by going out by yourself (or with other pick-up guys) 5-6 nights a week to hit on girls. won’t happen.

            You’ll sort of develop the identity of a pick-up guy with no solid social circle.

            At your (our age) friends are important. Downplaying basic normal guy stuff is part of the PUA scam.

            Where you are (age 24) you need to get experience getting a girlfriend and being in a relationship… you need to experience genuine companionship ship with a girl.

            24 is old to have never experienced that. Don’t focus on lay count.

            A lot of those PUA guys can go out and get one night stands once in a while (sounds like you can too) but they can never get a girlfriend… ultimately, because they can’t.

            If you’re above average looking and dress well… you’re problem isn’t “lack of game”… it’s poor social skills and social awareness with women (perhaps even being uncomfortable with women).

            I’ll say it right now. I’m the one to listen too. I had an emotionally healthy upbringing and I’ve gotten this shit for a while (lost my virginity the day before my 13th birthday).

            got laid a bunch in high school… got laid even more in college… I can do whatever I want with my sex life.

            *** RSD uses a lot of cult tactics… They also rely on the fact that their typical audience member has poor social skills/is desperate.

          • ALexander
            November 3, 2015 at 7:07 am

            The Latina, at 7:21- ending the girls was giving him shit test and resistance. S he was saying I think you cute but im unsure of you.

            He say I think you like me, she says I didnt say anything. If he did not plow past any of that he would have not gotten laid, it even show him bringing he to room. So again this prove game working.

            2:51-3:10, again more evidence of game working, granted wont know what happened usless you go to the hotseat. It still show a girl who was cold at the beginning and she warms up to him. You denying plowing and girl giving you shit if they are dtf but there is evidence and proof right there. But you will probably just call it fake.

            Plus all those other vid where its show girls giving him shit tests and resistance yet it shows plowing woking.

          • ALexander
            November 4, 2015 at 3:01 am

            oh and You had also mentioned, That plowing does not work and girls dont give shit test.

          • November 4, 2015 at 7:23 am

            girls dont give shit tests

            plowing is misunderstood… it’s really a sales technique for when a girl is on the fence or even down but she’s just not down to leave… your job is to position time away/logistics as “convenient”

            The problem is when aspie retards try to “plow” aka force it with chicks that want nothing to do with them.

  19. zindane
    August 17, 2014 at 9:16 am — Reply

    I Read your people skills/screening articles, Amazing shit dude, it has definitely been an eye opener. I’m so pissed for falling for this shit. I’m definitely gonna drop this pua stuff, it really has taken,I guess have been brainwashed to a Degree, especially by RSD. They do seem to be very cultish in nature, they do regularly demean their students for not agreeing with them. Been looking up some stuff by people that gamed around them For while, confirming a lot of what your saying about all the lies and overeggaerated results. Even just got done reading a thread a from a former intern on sluthate.com(puahates successor) talking about them implanting girls for bootcamps, faking a lot of hotseat footage and talking shit about their followers. I wish I done my research earlier instead of head on blindly believing all this stuff. I wonder why more students and assistants/interns have not come out saying these guys are scams.wish I found guys like you first. You are definitely spot on In your comment above, my social skills are not great, maybe average at best. I do go out alone, I tried to use wings from forums but they fucked it up for me by trying to steal my girls. As far as social circle goes, its not big it just me and three close friends, that just dick around and hang out from Time to time, they really don’t do any of the pua or hit the clubs Often for them to wing me. In terms of getting a girlfriends, I Really don’t know How to go about it. Because I can get laid but just with girls that want sex but I really dont Know how to fInd one and keep one without a significant size social circle Atm. I have gone on some dates but girls don’t really have much Interest, most likely because my lifestyle, I work only a part time job and share An apartment with my cousin atm. I have very little in the way of passion or hobbies other than lifting.

    oh and I’m actually 22 I mistyped In the comment Above, but yeah I do realize that’s still pretty old not to have experienced a relationship.

    • Giorgio
      September 14, 2014 at 12:05 am — Reply

      Hey Sonny! I’ve been reading your notes on Pua. Great work.

      You absolutely get the point.

      I do have a very direct question: what’s your thought on steve jabba from authenticpua.com?

      Best Luck

      Giorgio from Milan

      • September 14, 2014 at 1:45 am — Reply

        don’t know anything about it…

  20. zindane
    August 18, 2014 at 6:52 am — Reply

    Will do sonny, Much appreciated man.

  21. RedRum
    October 21, 2014 at 7:14 am — Reply

    Hey man. I love both parts of the post. It really opened my eyes when you talked about that supposed master pua being quiet while everyone was joking and talking. I tend to get that way sometimes when i dont know anything on the subject. I just got a question tho.. you say that it annoys you when guys say there isnt any women around which you then say there is women everywhere around, at the store, at the gym, at the mall, in the car next to you etc. Well isnt that considered cold approaching? You say cold approaching can be a pain in the ass well then doesnt that justify the guys complaining about the women not being around? If proximity approaching is king then that would mean being buddy buddy with alot of guys, untill you happen to find one that likes you, and it just so happens that he’s a cool dude, and it just so happens he invites you to a party, and it just so happens that female friends are there, and it just so happens that some of the females are hot, and it just so happens that one of them is single and not taken by anyone from the group.. i mean, arent those odds worse then just looking good and cold approaching chicks? Shouldnt cold approach be king since thats how most the world operates by eventually meeting someone at a random place, instead of waiting to land in that perfect social circle? Why not cold approach, eventually get a girl who’s down, then get to know her friends. Im just curious on this subject, you’re brilliant with the info but this got me confused and to be honest a little discouraged being that i was ready to go out there and hit on girls at local stores and shit. Cold approach style. I got my looks, style and some social skills in check.

    • October 21, 2014 at 5:06 pm — Reply

      The way it usually works is you date someone you have regular contact with… usually meeting through mutual friends.

      Just take a look around… most relationships don’t start with the dude cold approaching the chick.

      To be honest most chicks are a little shocked when a dude cold approaches them due to the fact that “hitting on chicks” carries a certain taboo with it.

      Cold approach is good because it can supplement your dating life… by giving you the opportunity to get that small % of girls that happen to be receptive/down.

      Other than that, most high quality girls have their pick and their usually just going to make themselves available to guys in their immediate social circle.

      Cold approach is cool because you never know who you will run into unless you go for it.

      • Neocrummer
        October 22, 2014 at 6:56 pm — Reply

        Sonny did you ever cold approach a girl with the sole purpose of adding her into your social circle, and have her introduce you to her friends?

        • October 23, 2014 at 5:24 am — Reply

          Oooh good question bro… I don’t think so. I have hit on a a chick and once she said she had a bf I asked her to introduce me to her hot friends.

  22. Darelle
    December 2, 2014 at 6:23 pm — Reply

    Im gonna have to disagree with you on the part about it not being a skill. besides basic social skills(obviously), Game( coolness, wit,humor, confidence, tactics and techniques, creating attraction) definitely matters. its not just pure luck or numbers game. its your game vs the numbers game. You batting average of those number improves over time as your game gets better. Thats why so many men start out bad but get good over time and increase their odds.(myself included). you seem to bash the pua industry alot but their is alot of legit shit in it(alot of bullshit to), game is very real. Just look at some of the top coaches out their that are pimping it like RSD tyler. despite being a 5’9 ugly ginger the guy still is killing it with hot women on a consistent basis, Proving that game can compensate for lack of looks.

    • December 3, 2014 at 6:23 am — Reply

      There is no proof for your last claim just assumptions. Don’t mention that company here anymore.

  23. Taylor
    December 3, 2014 at 2:31 pm — Reply

    Dude, why do you act like being white is such a joke lol?

    “John Smith game”

    I’ve recently read some articles from your site and just read the comments on this on article and it seems like you enjoy cracking jokes about white people?

    You even say in one article that being a mixed race guy puts you at more of an advantage?

    I’m sure you do well with women but I don’t see why you bash RSD guys? I know this a blog and your opinion but I think RSD is legit. To be honest, “There’s nothing I’ve seen of you so far to make think you would be any better with women than Julien or Todd”

    • December 4, 2014 at 1:59 am — Reply

      I don’t. Being white usually puts you at an advantage.

      Being mixed puts me at an advantage sometimes… at least gets some interest.

      I wrote those articles a while ago… RSD means nothing to me.

      Doesn’t look like things are going too well in their neck of the woods… Read the news.

  24. Jason
    February 7, 2015 at 4:15 am — Reply

    You did stated proximity is the king. I know within the pua community there are some PUA that preaches against getting girls through social circle. Basically its like “Don’t shit where you eat”. Have you ever had one of those awkward moments with a girl within a social circle? I think sometimes it can lead to drama but what is your view on it?

    • February 7, 2015 at 4:27 pm — Reply

      Not really… Because in social circle, you don’t really “go after” girls. Everybody interacts and gets comfortable with one another. Eventually, a guy and girl spend a lot of time and get really comfortable with one another. They like each other and eventually start dating.

      That’s actually how dating is usually done… simple interactions and you either click or you don’t.

      The real drama occurs when two guys like the same girl or when you like a girl who happens to be in the same social circle as your ex.

  25. […] – Sonny’s Guide on Game […]

  26. Jerry
    March 21, 2015 at 4:47 am — Reply

    Great read and advice. Certainly will use this before I’d waste a penny on any of this PUA nonsense.

    I gotta say I always get a kick out of reading your thoughts on PUAs. Any write-ups coming up where you just focus on verbally burying the PUA “game”? I’m reading up on this Julien guy and how they want to ban him from access to several countries which makes me laugh.

    Lucky for me, I won the genetic lottery so all I have to do is go out there and I’m sure I’ll get better with girls. Absolutely no need to waste money on this scam.

    • March 23, 2015 at 3:57 pm — Reply

      Yea. I’ll put something together that will explain the PUA scene for what it really is. I’ve been putting it off for a while because it’s going to be very negative unfortunately… but that’s how the truth is sometimes.

  27. April 9, 2015 at 9:27 pm — Reply

    great, great article!
    The pickup community had been likewise a bad influence on my daily dealings with women: „I will get every girl…I have work harder on my game and other bullshit…”

    brainwashed. Now I have to rewire myself with the real life, real experiences.
    I’m look forward to undergo this journey 🙂
    For that reason I am very happy to found your website! It is rare to find a honest and real person on the internet which shares his experiences and thought without bad ulterior motives. I will print the full 10 essay and internalize it 🙂 sorry for my bad englisch, I am from berlin and english wasn’t my favorite school subject 😉

    greetings,

    Daniel

    • April 10, 2015 at 5:42 pm — Reply

      Definitely man… you’ll find the real deal on this site

  28. Joelsuf
    May 8, 2015 at 4:29 pm — Reply

    I’m aware that I’ve been commenting on a good amount of your articles, some jokingly, some not, but it just means that I’m becoming a fan. This article officially won me over. I’ve always been a casual observer of PUAism, only using to develop social and flirting skills that I decided not to learn growing up but that was it. I knew the social fabric of most interactions, I just decided to not take part in them growing up. I’m not asking for advice here, just want your opinion really.

    Do you think it is possible to be happy or healthier never having been in a serious relationship? I’m 33 and I’ve never been in a serious relationship (just a whole bunch of short term ones where we hang out and fuck for a month or so then don’t talk again) and after witnessing more negative things of my friends’ relationships than good things, I don’t intend to. This was a promise I made to myself when I witnessed my parents divorce right before High School began. I saw my dad systematically kill himself by becoming a workaholic, ignoring his health and eventually getting cancer and dying. He died only 9 years after his divorce, and he raised me to believe the red pill idea that all women are backstabbing sluts and that you should never get married. This was made decisively evident to me when I saw my best friend’s girlfriend cheating on him (after making ME an offer, which I refused cuz I didn’t want to betray him AND get an STD lol). I feel like while it may behoove me to undo this, I also feel like it isn’t necessary if I’m content anyways. I’ll date around for a bit, take some time off, then date around again. This has been my MO for the last three years.

    I don’t even care about sex any more. I have a sex drive, as I get hard-ons when I talk to certain chicks who are attracted to me, but I really would rather self please than have sex most of the time, there’s just less bullshit involved. I once waited two whole years in between having sex and I was just as productive in my other areas than I ever was. So what gives? Should I have not felt like “a prisoner,” like you said? I just felt like I was taking a vacation from dating. For two years I guess I could have been considered a MGTOW (Man Going Their Own Way). The best friend I was talking about? Ever since he got cheated on (which was nearly 15 years ago), he became a legitimate MGTOW, not having dated since. Do you think that MGTOW has some legitimacy, or do you think it is a form of running from problems despite still being productive in other areas? I feel like it’s usually expressed as the latter even though IMO many MGTOW just don’t like dating, sex and relationships and would rather just work, do hobbies, and if they need sexual release they just do it themselves.

    I see a lot of my friends getting married etc and I’m not jealous in the slightest. I just kinda shrug. I value freedom over all and I feel like I’m the most free when I’m not in a relationship. For example last week I went on a date with a chick I met online and now I feel obligated to hit her back up but I kinda don’t care. I’m content with the single life even though society (and possibly yourself) are telling me I shouldn’t haha.

    Sorry if this was overwhelming lol.

    • May 8, 2015 at 7:50 pm — Reply

      I think life is a lot better when you are in a serious relationship with someone you love…. It just is.

      Anybody who says otherwise is just coping to the max… Nothing is more fulfilling than having a woman look up to you/love you/and you both don’t have a care in the world.

      Guys in self-help always want to talk about “purpose”… Having a loving woman by your side is an incredible source of drive (competitive spirit)

      • Joelsuf
        May 9, 2015 at 2:15 am — Reply

        Fair play, I suppose. But I can get that kind of drive by simply associating with others who share the same goals as me. I just feel that some people are designed to be able to handle long term relationships, and some aren’t. Someone like me who has had to spend the first 30 years of their life dealing with loss and trauma is simply never gonna be relationship material just because of how emotionally raw people like me tend to get.

        I feel like it would be best to just accept the fact that I’m not built for a long term relationship and move on. Which is what I have done. Some may call it a defeatest attitude, and they wouldn’t be wrong. But I’d love for them to come to a different conclusion after walking in my shoes for a bit.

        Look, I used to be worse. I used to believe that there was a Conspiracy against me and would say it to anyone and everyone who was willing to listen. I remember seeing the whole Elliot Rodger thing unfold last year and was like “holy crap that was ME in High School!” as a shiver went down my spine.

  29. Duran
    January 8, 2016 at 1:51 am — Reply

    You seemed to be off to a really good start with these articles and screening ones. What happened? Will You ever get back on the subject of game and how to talk to chicks? Not that I mind the motivational stuff but more stuff on Game/dating would great, you are one of the few that are 100 % honest about it.

    • January 8, 2016 at 2:38 am — Reply

      Well well well look who it is again…

      Yes. I just have to be in the mood to write on that stuff. I do have some really good ones saved up that I wrote.

  30. Duran
    January 9, 2016 at 12:41 am — Reply

    LOL damn, caught me, post for the lolz to see if you remembered.

  31. Dillion
    April 10, 2017 at 9:28 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny this is probably this and the first part were probably the best dating articles I have ever read. I got sucked into the whole Pua thing for 3 years and had quite some experiences. Crazy enough the part I enjoyed the most was having a girlfriend even though my wings convinced me “I still need to go out”. The truth is I still feel inexperienced with girls, which brings me to one question, if you would please take your time answer it. I don’t mean to be analytical, but how do you tell if your needy? and if so how do you fix? I am improving myself everyday and lifting, but due to my lack of women I feel like I am desperate to get them sometimes. Either way dude I am subbed and will continue to read/watch your stuff, it has really helped my mind a lot. Thanks sonny!

    • April 11, 2017 at 1:21 pm — Reply

      Take inventory of your relationship… If you’re hitting up the chick a lot more than she is hitting you up YOU ARE NEEDY.

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