Game/Dating

Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part I)

Here we go. The hot topic. “How do you get girls?” How do you pick up chicks?” These are questions guys ask themselves all the time. Most dudes do not know how to get girls. Or they have an idea but they either don’t care (and will just settle for anything) or they have an idea but just don’t want to accept it and will do everything they can to avoid truth/fix the problem.

As I said in my “About Me” section, this website is about DOING THINGS THE RIGHT WAY. It’s about solving problems. This means that the there are certain undeniable truths about getting girls that anybody with common sense should understand when they are honest with themselves. Learning how to get girls is a topic that I plan on covering extensively on my site. Why? Because I am an expert on the subject and I genuinely want to help guys out in this area. One of the most brutal sights is when I see a guy that is hopeless. He is lost and he is lonely. He has limited (or zero) experience with women and he has no idea where to begin. He has no idea why he can’t get women and he has no idea how to get women. If you happen to be this guy, then this article is especially for you. If you are not this guy, then I still encourage you to read it. Because chances are if you have found my article, then there is a definite possibility that you have studied pick-up websites/PUA forums in order to improve your dating life. In many cases, this can do more harm than good but I’ll get to that later on.

This article (and Part II) is very important because it will serve as the foundation for all dating/game advice that I will ever give on this site. If you are completely new and have no idea what works, consider this YOUR FOUNDATION. Consider this an important checklist that you constantly refer to. Are you following all the important rules and the main points that coincide with them? I have made this guide as simple as possible because that’s how learning how to get women should be… simple.

 

If you truly follow the advice I have to give here, you will save a lot of time (and money) and you will be able to improve your dating life.

 

Before I get into that though, I think it is important for you to know who is giving the advice, so that you can decide for yourself on whether or not they are a legitimate expert… especially when it comes to the pick-up industry.

 

The pick-up industry is notorious for frauds and wannabees. Wannabee “pick-up masters” and wannabee “players.” If you open your eyes and really take a look at who is giving the advice, you will see that the majority of “PUA experts” are nothing more than nerds and internet marketers. Very few are what I would consider to be legitimate sources of knowledge on how to get chicks. That’s reality.

 

That being said. Let me tell you a little bit about where I am coming from as far as knowledge on dating/game is concerned. If you feel that I am a credible source who bases their advice on ACTUAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, then continue reading and I hope this article helps you out.

 

Sonny’s Foundation and Dating Life

I believe that a guy’s upbringing has a profound impact on his relations with other people, especially when it comes to women. I was very blessed because I had an amazing upbringing. My parents have always been together and they absolutely put 100% into raising me. I always felt loved because both my parents were always there for me and spent time with me.

Digging deeper, I believe the male influence a young man has in his life makes all the difference. Again, this is an area in which I was very blessed. I was raised by a very strong father. I’m proud to say that because that is a dying trend especially with the continued feminization of men (more on that at a later date). I also had strong male influences from my Godfather (father’s best friend), and my uncle (mother’s brother). That was family for me. My mother taught me how to do some important stuff like read, write, and anything else school related. But for the most part, I was raised by men. Real old-school men who had real-life experience on how to survive in this world and knew what was important in life. As a kid, everything that was cool or important for a man to know, I learned from them.

 

Here’s a sample list of the stuff that they taught me to do/activities they encouraged me to participate in:

play sports, fishing, hunting, how to shoot a gun, use tools, work on cars, cook, drive a car, fight/stand up for myself, do work on a house, manual labor, HOW TO GET GIRLS, the importance of looking people in the eye, the importance of keeping your word, the fact that it’s not okay to be a coward, the importance of being in the company of good people, the importance of friendship, the idea that family comes before everything… the list goes on

You get the idea. My foundation was rock solid. That was just a small sampling of the stuff that I learned during my life from the older male family members in my life. This has always given me a lot of confidence and great sense of self-awareness as a young man growing up. Look, this is important what I am about to say. Your identity is actually established at a very young age. This is the foundation. For the most part, there are WINNERS and then there is everybody else. My parents raised me with the best intentions kept in mind. They emphasized what they felt was best for me both short-term and long-term. I was raised to be a winner. Let me repeat that.

I was raised to BE A WINNER.

This has translated to how I have been able to relate to my peers over the years. I have always been able to relate with others and make new friends with ease. People have and always will be my greatest strength. Guys, girls, all different races… my greatest strength is my multidimensionality and my ability to relate with them all. When I was a kid people always wanted to be around me because I was a friendly/funny kid who was good at a lot of stuff and could easily relate with others. I was always one of the best at school, sports, best dressed, best looking (thanks to my parents)… you name it. Like I said, I was raised to be a winner.

This has given me a lot of self-confidence throughout my life, which has always translated very well for me when it came to getting girls. I ended up losing my virginity in middle school which I always felt gave me a big advantage. Losing one’s virginity is always at the top of the list for kids in middle school and high school. I checked that off at the beginning of 7th grade and it helped because I didn’t have that awkward time period of really questioning myself and walking around anxious/desperate to get on the scoreboard. I had a decent understanding of who I was and just started to build off that foundation at a young age.

Having a lot of friends, being good at sports, and being a good looking kid was always my basis for popularity throughout middle school. It enabled me to have a dating life when most kids did not. Once high school came, I pretty much followed the same gameplan… my own. For all 4 years, I pretty much alternated between having a girlfriend and playing the field/hooking up with a couple different girls from my school, other nearby schools, or just random chicks I met at parties random hookups happened more so Junior and Senior Year). I would say my options grew considerably once I started lifting weights seriously my Junior year of high school. In college, I did the exact same thing. I didn’t play sports but I was able to make a lot of friends and become popular mainly because I stuck out like a sore thumb (but, in a good way). I also knew who to become friends with. There were times when I would just date one girl. But for the most part, I embraced the college lifestyle style going out all the time and hooking up with a lot of different chicks.

In March 2012, I became aware of the pick-up industry and at first it definitely caught my interest. I was always fascinated by that movie Hitch and wondered how someone gets that job. At one point, I even strongly considered trying to work for a company. However, I have learned since then that it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. Instead, I would rather just work on my own lifestyle business and incorporate my own dating advice as another element into that. No tricks. No false promises. Just advice coming from someone who figured this out and has had this aspect of their life handled from a very young age. In PUA terms, I am a “natural” someone has been able to get women with ease without having to study pick-up material. I believe that this makes me very qualified to give guys advice on how to improve game and dating life.

If you are still reading then get ready because up next are my top 10 pieces of advice for improving your dating life. These are what I would consider to be 10 truths or 10 laws that you must follow and embrace. I stand behind these laws and I attribute my observance of them as a big reason for my success over the years. I’ll say it again, this site is all about doing things THE RIGHT WAY. This means no shortcuts, no skimming to make it easier on yourself… these are the rules and you should follow them all the way if you want to put yourself on the path to doing things the right way from a dating perspective and give yourself the best chance of dating high-quality girls. Here is Part I. Enjoy!

 

Law 1: Master people before your master women

This one should be fairly easy to understand and yet guys who get into pick-up just completely ignore it. They get roped in by the marketing of PUA companies about how they can become a master of seduction and become great with women immediately. However, there’s one big problem…

 

The typical guy who studies pick-up on Internet forums is not good with people. In fact, a lot of these guys are straight up horrible with people. In many cases, a lot of them have severe anxiety issues. They are very much SOCIALLY UNCOORDINATED.

 

In addition, they also fall into the new-school mindset of instant gratification and the “I want it now” game plan. This problem never occurs to them or they just don’t want to acknowledge it. They just want to get good with girls as fast as possible, without establishing that necessary foundation of being good with people in general. I’ll tell you this and hopefully it will save you a lot of time and get rid of any confusion you may have.

 

You cannot become good with women without first becoming good with people in general, that’s means having the ability to have normal conversations with both guys and girls. It also means having a cool personality that people want to be in the company of.

 

There is no such thing as skimming on this important foundation of being generally good with people… being a people person. If you don’t have a lot of money or aren’t famous, then you cannot ignore the importance of establishing this foundation. If you want to get good with women, you have to become a people person. A people person is someone who can easily relate to people and establish a solid connection with ease. That word “connection” is very important… it’s what chicks talk about all the time. They go on a date, they either “feel a connection” or they don’t. Well, how do you get good at establishing a solid man to woman connection? You first have to become naturally good at establishing a solid person to person connection.

The general level of social coordination (people skills) amongst young men today is very watered down compared to young men in the 1970s and 1980s. The Internet, television, social media, video games, online pornography… all of these have had an overall negative effect on guys’ ability to relate with other people. Today, it has gotten to the point where you can never leave the house and still have all the entertainment you could ever need. Back in the day it wasn’t like that, you had to get out of the house and spend time with people if you wanted to have fun.

I had an advantage because I had a very old-school upbringing. I was always playing sports and spending time with all my friends. My father also strongly discouraged me from spending too much time on the computer/playing video games because in his mind that’s what “nerds” did. In fact, the only time I ever really played video games was around Christmas when I would get those Tony Hawk games and play them for a few weeks. I also played some of the Pokémon games on Game Boy. Other than that, I was out the house always playing sports and spending time with people.

It’s very important especially for you newer guys to realize this. It is impossible to truly become good with women without having that foundation of being good with all people in general. It just does not work like that.

 

So when you are going on different websites and trying to figure out if the source and advice are legitimate… that should be something you are focusing on when trying to decide if the person is a legitimate expert.

 

Ask yourself: Is this guy cool or does he seem awkward? Can I really picture this guy easily interacting with people or does something about him seem a little bit off? Does he seem like someone who is naturally attractive to people?  Can I picture him being a dude that people genuinely like spending time with? Does he seem like a dude that can easily get the respect of other men? Or is there something about him that is off-putting or even downright repulsive that really repels people away?

Be honest with yourself. If it does not seem like the guy abides by this first law, then he is not a people person. As a result, he cannot be an expert on getting good with women.

To end this section, I would like to tell a quick story to illustrate my point. Last summer I took a trip to Vegas to visit some friends and ended up having dinner with them my first night in town. One of which was a pick-up teacher who had generated a lot of buzz on a PUA forum due to his own ridiculous stories and his claim to have turned a complete newbie into an advanced guy. This supposed “newbie to advanced” guy was also at the dinner. I was curious to meet this guy because I wanted to see it if was true. Since I am good with people, I can pretty much sum an individual up pretty quickly.

I knew immediately that these claims were false (or greatly exaggerated). He wasn’t the product of world class teaching. He was a kid who was absolutely horrible with people. He had zero people skills. He had zero confidence and I really got the sense that he had no sense of self. He was also socially uncoordinated. In fact, he had severe anxiety and I would bet that he had some deep rooted psychological issues. I could actually see it unfolding at the dinner table. Everyone else was joking around and talking about sports or whatever and this kid was struggling to interject. He was so in his own head trying to come up with the perfect thing to say at the right moment. He didn’t say one word the entire time. That was a bunch of dudes sitting at a table. By default, it was not possible for him to actually be good with women.

Did he get laid? Yeah, I had heard from several people that he had pulled and banged a few chicks since he moved to Vegas a few months prior. Do you think it requires any special skill to approach chicks all day and night in Las Vegas and get laid? Get outta here, of course not. My point is this.

 

Going out to bars and nightclubs and getting a few one night stands… that does not mean you are good with women.

 

It means that you play the numbers game. That kid in Vegas went out all day and all night… all he did was pick-up 24/7. Of course, he’s gonna have some luck and get some chicks because he’s bound to run into a few that for whatever reason were sexually available at the time. The trap that a lot of kids who really get into this pick-up stuff fall into is that they equate pulling drunk chicks from bars and clubs with actually being good with women. You don’t need to be good with women to pull chicks from bars/nightclubs. You just need to play the numbers game, have a closer mentality and eventually you’ll run into some chicks that are down.

That’s why a lot of kids struggle with picking-up chicks during the day. There’s no music blasting, no alcohol, and no distractions. You actually need to be good at conversing with people and in this case… be good at conversing with women.

Going out and spam approaching chicks at bars/nightclubs or even random places during the day will do nothing for your game if you have no foundation as a socially coordinated person who can relate to other people and be normal.

If you are a new guy (meaning lacking experience getting girls), getting good with people should be of greater importance than getting good with women. Master people before you master women.

 

How to get good with people

Well, the one thing I can assure you is that it will be a process. You won’t become good with people over night or over the course of a weekend. The ideal situation is what I experienced. I was raised and encouraged to always be around people and be friendly/outgoing toward them. That’s what you have to do. You have to learn to become friendly and outgoing toward people. You have to put the evolutionary pressure on yourself and condition yourself to recognize the good in people and learn to truly love being in the company of other people. Do everything you can to get out of the house and spend as little time in front of a computer/on the Internet as you can.

 

Law 2: A strong masculine man is (and always will be) the GOLDEN STANDARD

This is 100 % true and you need to realize this. By nature, women are programmed to be feminine and submissive. Men are programmed to be masculine and dominant. End of story. That’s nature. Dudes want to whine and complain about how the feminist movement is making life hard for guys in the 21st century. Get real. At best, the feminist movement can be characterized as a little annoying bug where feminists just want to keep talking about how all men are evil. Whatever.

No, the problem is that the quality of the average dude has gone down significantly over the past 50 years. The truly strong masculine man, in general, is a dying breed. Men are becoming more feminine. There are a lot of reasons for this. I’ll go over that in a future article. Let me give you an example of an average 30 year old in the past versus the present.

My Great Uncle (50-60 years ago): He had fought in World War II and was back in the US. He had a very busy life. He had a full-time job, took night classes at college, was raising a family, and put a lot of work into building his own house. He completed supported himself and his family. He could fix anything and knew how to use tools. He was a master of many things because he had real experience to back it up. He was a real, hard-working American. He was in charge and was completely responsible for himself and his family. He knew how to fend for himself. He didn’t ask his parents for any help or advice. He was handsome, had a deep masculine voice, and he knew how to dress. That’s a strong, masculine man. That sounds amazing and keep in mind that was normal for back then.

30 Year-Old Dude Today: It is a very real possibility that he still relies on his parents for help. *** There are some legitimate exceptions where he might feel obligated to remain at home to take care of a family member. There’s a very real chance he still lives at home. He tells himself that he’s just living at home to save money but he knows deep down that he prefers the comforts of home because there is a certain security in knowing that mommy and daddy are around. He’s got no backbone and even less work ethic. He has little to no knowledge on how to use tools. He can’t cook. He does not know to dress or even use an iron. He doesn’t take care of himself, has soft facial features, and has a soft, almost girly voice. He doesn’t have extensive knowledge on the basic stuff a real man should know. He browses Internet forums and thinks that he gains knowledge from this but in reality he is a master of nothing. What he knows is video games, Internet porn, television/movies, and Facebook. He is still very much a kid. He might work a job and be able to support himself but he’s not experiencing the world for himself. He is soft. He has yet to truly leave the nest and survive on his own. He is not strong. He is not masculine.

My point in that little comparison is that masculinity and strength are dying qualities in men today. This is problematic from a dating perspective because these are the 2 most important qualities for a man:

 

MASCULINITY & STRENGTH

 

These are the 2 most important features to keep in mind. Women are most attracted to strength and masculinity. What do women want? Well, from a materialistic standpoint, that’s easy… they want more of everything. But as far as traits in a man, they want a man who is strong and masculine.

You can study every PUA forum, theory on game, and pickup tactic out there… it won’t make a difference.

 

If STRENGTH AND MASCULINITY do not stand out in your vibe, then you are at a disadvantage.

 

Actually, you are right around average since most dudes don’t give this off in their vibe. Depending on how weird the world of pick-up makes you, you might actually be at a severe disadvantage because then you’re pretty much this creepy kid spam approaching chicks who gives off a weird vibe.

Now a lot of dudes may want to argue and give me all these examples of dudes who don’t look strong/masculine and yet still get a lot of girls. My answer to them would be to go read my About Me Page. My way of doing things is simple. The only way to do things is the right way. That means doing things 100 %. Strength and masculinity are the 2 most attractive qualities in a man. So, if you are trying to get better results with women, wouldn’t you want to maximize them? Plain old common sense. This website is built upon the foundation of strength and masculinity. All the advice I give here will point you in that direction.

Again, you should also look for these 2 traits when you are trying to figure out if a source on dating/game is legitimate. Ask yourself these questions. Does this guy give off a vibe of strength and masculinity? Does he appear physically strong and masculine? Does he talk and project himself like a man? Can I picture women looking at this guy and classifying him as “strong” and “masculine?” Or is he an average dude with a weak or even feminine vibe just spewing nonsense?

You want to give yourself the best chance to win at this game? The way you do this is by constantly improving yourself and moving toward strength and masculinity. That’s what women respond to. For the average, non-celebrity guy, the stronger and more masculine you are, the more attractive you are to women. That’s the golden standard.

How to Become Stronger/More Masculine

 This is also a matter of placing self-imposed evolutionary pressure upon yourself. This is dictated by the activities you participate in and your habits. Here are some that come to mind from my own experience… a “Do” list and an “Avoid” list.

Do: Lift weights 5 days a week, take cold showers, listen to heavy metal/rock/rap, get manual labor experience, learn how to use tools, learn the basics of auto-repair, learn how to cook, take full responsibility for every aspect of your life, eat steak/eggs and other manly foods, dress like a man, have other cool friends that you can relate to, get out of the house, take a hunting/fishing trip, regard women as just another part of life, keep it simple, identify problems and solve them.

Avoid: Isolation from people, a sedentary lifestyle, Internet pornography, girlie techno/pop music, video games, hours watching television, loser friends, eating kid foods such as cereal and macaroni, staying under mommy and daddy’s wing past the appropriate age, dressing feminine, browsing Internet forums, wasting time on social media/YouTube, making women/learning game your #1 priority, complicating things, seeing problems and then trying to rely upon theory/extreme logic to solve them.

 

Law 3: Your Looks Matter… A Lot

Which would you rather drive a Ferrari or a Chevy Celebrity? Most of you would pick the Ferrari. Why? Because the Ferrari looks amazing and the Chevy Celebrity looks like crap. My discussion on this law will be very straightforward, it may even offend a bunch of people, especially those who have put all their faith into traditional PUA-dogma that “looks don’t matter.”

 

Your looks absolutely matter… and they matter a lot.

 

People want to talk about how “you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.” But that’s exactly how the world works. If you are around people, you are being judged every day. No one cares about you or your story. They want the Cliff notes. They get that by seeing how you look, getting a sense of your vibe, and seeing how you interact with others.

How does this relate to women? Well, if you’re honest with yourself you will realize that women prefer to have sex with/date dudes who they find physically attractive. Just like guys prefer having sex with physically attractive women. Women prefer having sex with physically attractive men. I really can’t make it much simpler than that.

What you need to also realize is that people, especially women, can look at you and have a pretty good idea of who you are. They know. They know what your deal is. They see a nerdy kid dressed like a teenager. He’s quiet, walks with uncertainty, and doesn’t make strong eye contact. They assume that he is timid, socially awkward, weird, and probably not on their level. There’s nothing sexual about the kid other than the fact that he probably watches a lot of porn. In many cases, they would be right. Then they may see a big athletic dude dressed like a man. He walks with confidence, has a firm voice, displays strong eye contact and people seem to gravitate toward him. Women think he is handsome, sure of himself, and probably has no problem getting a girlfriend. Most of the time, they would be right.

There is a lot of confusion regarding looks which I think definitely holds dudes back when they are trying to learn how to get chicks. Guys see pick-up instructors on the Internet going on and on about how looks are irrelevant and may even see a few real life examples of dudes who don’t look good and yet have awesome dating lives. As a result, they put it in their heads that they’re not going to do anything to become more physically appealing and just become an “advanced PUA.”

I would advise those dudes to look at this site and recognize how things are done here… the right way. That means you don’t skim. You recognize the stuff that works and you do more of that. In this case, recognize that looks are a significant advantage and do everything you can to maximize them. Don’t put the clamp down on your dating life by doing nothing to improve your looks and refusing to acknowledge the importance of them.

That’s another indicator of someone who is a legitimate expert on this subject. If a pick-up instructor teaches that looks don’t matter or are not absolutely important, then they are not a legitimate expert. They are simply a marketer who is trying to emphasize the super important secrets of game that only they know. All you have to do is keep listening and eventually buy their pick-up product or bootcamp…

Listen, not everyone is naturally good-looking. A lot of that is genetics. But everybody can work on this aspect of their life and increase their chances of looking good.

If you improve your looks you improve your chances of getting chicks. I shouldn’t have to say this, but I will continue to reiterate it for the purposes of this article. Why would you skim on what improves your results with women?

Do you think that dressing better, getting jacked, and overall looking cooler will help increase your success with women? Of course they will. So do it. Dress your best, get in your best shape, and look you coolest. That will do way more for you than studying any pick-up material. Again, stick with the basics.

 

How to Improve Your Looks

You do everything you can to look better. Lift weights. Eat healthy food. Get good sleep. Get tan. Style your hair. Clean your teeth. Wear cool clothes and accessories. Display confident body language. Pretty much… if you think it’s going to help you look better and more confident, do it. It’s really that simple.

 

Law 4: Getting Girls is a BUSINESS

It’s that simple. Getting girls is a business. The question is what do you bring to the table? Seriously, what do you bring to the table that will make a hot chick give you the time of day? A beautiful girl has A LOT OF OPTIONS. Why should you be #1?

It’s important to be aware of this question because this will force you to be honest with yourself. Recognize your strengths. Highlight those. Recognize your weaknesses. Work on those.

 

You should always strive to be the best person you can be.

 

In all aspects of life, give 100% and do your best. That’s what will help you out a lot in your path to happiness. And that is what will help you reach your full potential in your dating life.

I won’t get too much into detail here but just hear me out. If you have the experience and/or pay attention to how people interact you will realize that women care about these things:

 

Looks

Personality

Financial Situation

Status (or perceived status)

 

These aren’t in any particular order. Actually, it looks cool the way the words pyramid down though. But those are the Big 4 in my experience. If you are hitting it out of the park with those 4 things, then the world is yours pretty much. You could do whatever you want with your dating life. Conversely, if you are severely lacking in all 4 of those areas then for the most part, you are going to have a very difficult time getting the girls you want (or any girls for that matter).

Now here is where reality sets in. For the majority of guys that study pick-up and game, it’s amazing how little time they spend on improving themselves in those 4 areas. They spend hours upon hours watching pick-up videos on YouTube, browsing pick-up forums (and listen to anonymous, inexperienced sources), and reading other pick-up material. They waste a lot of time doing this.

I have personally seen this story play out many times when I have worked with guys wanting to improve their dating lives. I’ll ask them where they are in their dating lives and they usually tell me all the sources they have gotten their information from, what videos or PUA’s they watch on YouTube, and what products they got. The problem becomes clear once we go out and I study how they project themselves/how women react to them.

It’s usually not good. A lot of times girls want very little to do with the guy. And it’s certainly not because they haven’t studied enough game or applied it. They’ve spent hundreds of hours over the years learning game and maybe even approaching chicks. However, in many cases, they make the mistake of spending very little time addressing those 4 areas listed above. As a result, when they approach chicks, they’re really not bringing anything to the table.

They don’t look good. They don’t wear cool clothes. As a result, they have a lack of perceived status. And they pretty much just spam approach chicks copying what they saw on YouTube. As a result, they give off a creepy vibe and girls perceive them as weird. So when it’s all said in done, they bring nothing to the table and are just another weird scrub. And this is proven by their lack of results with women.If you are this type of dude, then my advice to you would be to take a step back and truly asses where you are in those 4 key areas that I mentioned. If you are not satisfied with your dating life then I’m sure it’s because you simply are not maximizing your potential in one of those areas.

Example: If you are a 5’4” dude with little muscle mass who doesn’t dress well and goes out by himself spam approaching chicks doing the creepy stuff you saw some PUA doing on YouTube…. Girls will not respond well to this. Most girls will think you are weird and will want nothing to do with you because you bring nothing to the table. If you go out enough, there might be some extreme outlier that responds positively… but again, that’s an outlier.

You don’t want to base your game plan off of the hope of running into the outlier case. That’s another trap that pick-up students fall into. They see some guy or hear a story of some guy who’s got nothing going for him in life and is always tagging hot chicks. Yea that’s him… that’s not you. He found out what works for him. Instead of trying to skim and aspiring to be that one outlier case, you would be much better off just maximizing all of the stuff that attracts women… bring as much to the table as possible.

 

How to Improve Your Brand

 If you look at getting girls as a business, then the way you improve you dating life is by improving your business and the brand that you offer. But that goes for life in general. That’s why self-improvement is so important. You should always be working on yourself for you. Improving every aspect of life for your own happiness. An extra incentive would be the fact that you are making yourself more attractive to women.

Improve your looks by going to the gym, eating right, and getting good sleep. Improve your personality by surrounding yourself with friends and family. Just always do your best to be in the company of other people and avoid isolation/confinement in your house. Work on your career and get your money right. Status (or perceived status) comes naturally by working on those first 3 things. No girl really knows what your status is in society. But if you build yourself up to eventually being jacked, handsome, well-dressed, and someone who people like to be around… You will be perceived as someone who is strong and masculine, which is highly valued amongst women.

 

Law 5: Available (Down) vs. Not Available (Not Down)

This is an important law which is why I am choosing it to end Part I of my first game article. This is a concept that is very much ignored in the pick-up community… this concept of availability. It’s largely because traditional pick-up almost encourages guys to have a very negative, spiteful attitude towards women. The general vibe I get from the community is that a lot of guys are nerdy dudes who didn’t have a lot of success with women when they were younger. As a result, there is a tendency to go on this mission to bang as many chicks as possible as a way to get back at women for their failures when they were younger and prove to themselves that they are a pick-up master. They went from zero to hero and have become “advanced”… masters at seducing women. Ok, I know this isn’t most guys but I have seen this storyline play out quite a few times so I know it exists.

But the point I am getting at here is that because of this negative, spiteful view towards women, it has actually done more harm than good. This is because a lot of PUA instructors seem to hint that all women are sluts that want sex all the time and that by becoming an advanced guy in the game… any guy can get any girl.

This is a lie and probably the biggest scam in the industry. They disregard the concept of AVAILABILITY. In case you don’t understand it, I will keep my explanation of it as simple as possible and even include some good examples to demonstrate my point.

Getting laid is a numbers game. Always has been. Always will be. The more chicks you hit on the more likely you are to get laid. That’s how it is. Here is my first experience truly seeing the numbers game played out.

Fall 2008: It was the beginning of Freshman year of college. Me and 2 of my friends were finishing up some work in the Library and were talking about a date function for one of the fraternities later that night. Me and my friend Kevin had our dates already. My friend Mike forgot and needed to get a date last minute. So what did he do? He went around the library and hit on every hot chick seeing if they wanted to go to the date function. His opener every time was, “Hey you’re pretty cute you want to go to the KA date function with me?” Eleven girls said no. Some of them were creeped out, some had boyfriends, and some already had a date. The point is they were unavailable. The twelfth girl he asked said yes. She was available. She was down. They went to the date function, got hammered and he railed her out in the shower. That’s the numbers game.

The main point is that girls are either AVAILABLE or NOT AVAILABLE. Most girls are not available and there are an infinite number of reasons why that may be. She could literally be unavailable because she is in a relationship. She could be in a bad mood. She could have just gone through a bad break-up. She could have lost her job… Whatever. Chicks are very emotional and there are a ton of situational triggers that could put them in an emotional state that makes them sexually unavailable.

There are also an infinite number of reasons why a chick is available. She could be in party mode. She could be on vacation. She could have just broken up with her boyfriend or gotten divorced. You could meet her in Vegas. She could be in the mood. She could be in a relationship but finds you so attractive she decides to cheat. She could be single….

Whatever the case is, when you are studying how to get chicks, you must know and embrace this concept of a chick being either available (down) or unavailable (not down). This is why it is so important to have Law 1 completely handled. You absolutely need that foundation of being a people person and knowing how to interact with others. Most importantly, you to have that ability to recognize what people are feeling and how they are reacting to you, in this case women.

When you apply this in your efforts to get laid. That is called SCREENING.

Screening is basically the initial verbal and physical interaction you have with a chick where you are testing the waters to see how down or available this chick is. You are seeing what her deal is.

Is this chick down right now or maybe at a later time? Or is her vagina on lockdown?. If you are good with people, meaning socially coordinated, and know how to screen chicks… you will know soon enough.

I feel that’s a big difference between the dating advice I will offer on my site as opposed to what traditional PUA’s have to offer. I emphasize the importance of finding out whether a chick is available or not through screening.

Unfortunately, availability and screening are barely acknowledged in traditional pick-up because there’s still an overall fixation with the fantasy of being able to get any girl. You see this in exaggerated field reports where guys write novels on how they were able to overcome all these obstacles, barriers, and objections from the girl and finally in the end they were able to seal the deal at the end of the night and bang the chick after hours of battling LMR, annoying friends… whatever. Again, this obsession with living out the zero to hero fantasy where they overcome all these obstacles and emerge victorious in the end.

Furthermore, there is an overemphasis by many PUA instructors on the concept of plowing. Plowing basically refers to overcoming a chick’s initial rejections when a guy approaches them. I think it is a very flawed concept considering the typical dude who comes in trying to learn how to get laid.

The problem with this concept is that there is no regard for that concept of availability. Typical newbies go out. They are not good with people in general so they are already at a disadvantage. But they watch videos telling them to plow through even if the girl is not interested first. They plow plow plow… but nothing good ever comes from it they just make themselves look creepy and sometimes open themselves up for a potential for altercation. Since they are not good with people and in some cases have been brainwashed by PUA, they are under the impression that if they plow enough maybe something good will happen and somehow the chick will change her mind and suddenly become attracted. But that’s not how it works in reality.

Here’s how things go down (potentially) when kids are not aware of the situation (due to lack of social coordination) and insist on plowing. They learn about unavailability the hard way.

Kid in New York City: I was once out with a few kids in New York City. They were all into pick-up and were fanboys of one of the companies. I watched as they spam approached the entire night. Creeping out girls and imitating all of the tactics/pick-up lines they saw on YouTube. One of the kids was so-called “advanced.” He had been “in the game” for 7 years. It didn’t matter that he had only banged one chick. He was very advanced. Well, a situation came up in the club where he was repeatedly trying to mack some chick. The problem was that she was not interested and she was unavailable. Her boyfriend was actually right there telling him to get lost. She also told him to get lost. But he insisted on “staying in set” and plowing through because that’s what he learned. It was all a game to him so he recited line after line and tried everything he could to pump the girl’s emotional state. The game turned real though when he decided to pick her up and spin her around (like he learned from his favorite instructor). At that point, the boyfriend broke his jaw.

That’s an extreme example but that’s a definite possibility if you try to mess with the wrong people. Here’s a less extreme one.

Kid in Los Angeles- I was out with this kid in LA. He learned how to get laid entirely from pick-up and over the years he has learned a lot. However, he does not understand the concept of availability. He goes out 7 nights a week and tries to pick up chicks. He can get laid but it’s only because he really plays the numbers game. One night we’re out and he hits up some chick. He wants to leave the club with her and he makes his intentions known. She knows what’s up. But there’s one problem. She’s not down. She’s just not in the mood to leave the club with some dude she just met. However, he just doesn’t see this because he does not acknowledge the concept of availability. He spends hours trying every little tactic, trick, and moved her all over the venue. The end of the night comes and she leaves with her friends. She thanks him for the free drinks and bounces. He refused to just leave that chick alone and go hit on another one. Because of all of his time spent watching the latest pick-up videos, he believed that ejecting from a set where a chick does not shows interest was the chode thing to do. He had to keep plowing through. That chick was really hot. But she was not down.  Maybe she would have been down with a better looking guy or someone she had a better vibe with… But the point is she was not down for him. If he would have had more social coordination he would have realized that it wasn’t happening with this chick and that he would have moved on after a few minutes.

Anybody who has ever seen me approach chicks (especially in bars and nightclubs) cannot believe that I immediately eject from set if I approach a chick and she does not seem down. It boggles their mind because they have consumed so much information that teaches them to plow through the interaction and blow the set out. This is absolutely pointless. But I see that their problem resorts back to Law 1… they are not good with people. They just don’t get that staying in there and making the situation weirder is not going to accomplish anyhing.

Now I will go over some of my own examples highlighting situations displaying chicks that are available and not available and what I did.

 

Examples of Unavailable (Not Down) vs. Available (Down)

 A Saturday morning Spring 2013– I was still in school and woke up early to get some work done. I was in Starbucks and saw an absolute knockout. She was some sort of Latina or something. I went up and talked to her for a bit. I went to ask for her number and she giggled saying that she wish she could but she can’t. Then she left. ** A few weeks later I found out why she acted so weird. She had a boyfriend. I didn’t do anything wrong, my game wasn’t off. I did everything right. I was dressed well. I looked good. I smelled good. I spoke with clarity. And I had good eye contact. Also I was man enough to tell her that I thought she was attractive. Was she attracted to me? Absolutely. I’ve built myself up to the point where most women are initially. But… that girl was UNAVAILABLE. She was a high-quality girl that had morals that just wasn’t going to give her number out to a dude she just met when she has a boyfriend.

Fast forward a couple hours later after I had finished all my work. I’m on my way out of the Library and decide to rent a DVD. By chance, I meet a cute little Freshman who is returning a book. We start talking and she mentions how she’s seen me at the gym before. I suggest we hang out later and she gives me her number. She asks when we are going to hang out. I told her that I would take her out to dinner later. I just had to get my haircut and get food from the grocery store. I take her to dinner. We have good chemistry and I had sex with her later that night. No tricks. No gimmicks. I was in the right place at the right time. And I met the right chick. Unlike the first girl I talked to, this girl was AVAILABLE. She was a Freshman that was single and wanted some excitement. She also wanted a break from the typical preppy Freshman guys she had to see every day.

A Night at Hakkasan Nightclub (Las Vegas- Summer 2013) – This was an interesting night (and week) in Vegas because it was during the time when one of the major pick-up companies was having the annual conference. Me and one of my boys were invited to chill at a table that one of his co-workers had gotten. We chilled for a little bit and then decided to try and get some chicks. So we did our thing going around hitting up chicks. By chance we ran into one of the instructors who was running a bootcamp. He came over and said what’s up. He and his students then proceeded to follow me and my friend as we hit on chicks. It was annoying because some chicks were down but they kept leaving because these pick-up squids would swarm in and spam approach copying the creepy approaches they saw on YouTube. Eventually, my friend, one of the students, and I locked in on 3 girls. We were flirting with them. The other 2 girls with the other 2 guys seemed sort of down. My girl was absolutely not down. There was no chemistry between us. She was in a bad mood. And she wasn’t getting turned on when I was spittin that smooth LL flow I usually dish out. It wasn’t going to happen with this one. She was UNAVAILABLE for whatever reason.

At one point, the dudes were dancing with their girls while I just stood there with mine. The instructor came over at one point and was trying his best to coach me on tactics I should be doing. At that point, I left and as I did, the instructor immediately swarmed in and picked up where I left off. I felt relieved. I know I did the right thing and I probably only wasted about 20 minutes. Then I went down to the main dance floor and gooned around for a little bit hittin up chicks. Very physical… I screened for DTF girls. Most were in party mode and just wanted to dance. Some were with friends. Eventually, I found a busty chick that was 100 % down. She made intense eye contact with me and put her hands all over my arms as we introduced ourselves. Within 20 seconds were making out and she had her hand on my piece. Within a minute we were out the door going up to her room which was conveniently located in the MGM Grand. She was AVAILABLE. Actually, she had a boyfriend back home but she was in Vegas and wanted to hook up with a hot guy, so for that moment she was available.

*** Funny enough, none of those other 3 guys got laid with those chicks. That weird chick that I left earlier in the night ruined it for everyone. She got drunk and was ranting about how no one loved her and how her father abused her as a kid. That chick was extremely unavailable. I felt bad for my friend though because I believe his chick probably was down for him the other chick messed it up.

I’ll wrap up this section with a concept that I don’t think has been touched on by anyone in the PUA community. It’s very simple so it should make a lot of sense to you guys. In case you are wondering this is how I personally screen when I am trying to get laid, especially if I am out at a nightclub or bar.

Everyone knows about how guys rank girls from a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means you wouldn’t hit it with your worst enemies stick. 10 means you might consider clippin some dude just to have a chance. Those are exaggerations but you get my point. That is the Looks Scale.

Well, one thing I did with my friends in college was add in another ranking. I’m talking about…

 

Ranking girls in terms of their level of downness (The Downness Scale)

 

That is what makes going out to get laid nights truly efficient. You go out and you talk to chicks. You test the waters by interacting with them and screening them. Again, this is why that foundation of being good with people is so important because this is what will give you the ability to get a sense of how much the chick is digging you.

 

The ranking follows a similar 1 to 10 scale.

1= she wants nothing to do with you/tells you to leave, she ignores you

10= she is basically dragging you out the front door by your johnson

 

As far as everything in between, you really have to rely on your own instinct and be honest with what is exactly going on in the interaction. A 5 is the half-way point. Depending on the chick, a few drinks and some dancing may bump you up a little bit in the ranking.

So this differs from traditional pick-up because traditional pickup sort of just teaches guys to mass approach chicks and if you get a hot chick it’s because your game is getting better and you are that much closer to becoming a pick-up master.

I come from a much different school of thought. Okay, based on my experiences in high school and college, I can honestly say that you can pretty much wing it in those environments. Everyone is young, dumb, and in crazy party mode. For most people, that’s the time to be crazy and stupid. However, it changes once you enter the real world. You don’t really have access to those types of parties where that “nothing bad will ever happen to me” mentality is so prevalent. If you want to be smart and maximize your chances of getting laid when you go out…. YOU NEED A GAME PLAN.

You need some sort of system to go by so that you are not wasting your nights on chicks you have no chance with. This is the simplest most straightforward system I could think of that will keep your night as efficient as possible.

 

Ideally, you want to run into a chick that is high up both in the looks scale and the downness scale.

 

The jackpot is when you run into a chick with 10 looks and 10 downness. That’s money. It’s very rare though. I have been lucky enough to have experienced it a few times and I can honestly say it does feel like you have won the lotto. So if you get that chance definitely treasure those experiences.

But the majority of the time it’s not like that. Most girls in a club or bar setting are not down or are very low on the downness scale. Most of the girls that are down are average or below average in a typical club or bar setting. That’s why I laugh when the “pick-up experts brag about such high laycounts pulling chicks from run-in-the-mill bars and clubs. People think they are pulling 10’s. But they are not. They get 5’s and 6’s that happen to be really drunk and high up on the downness scale. They just happen to play the numbers game by going out all the time. Now does that mean a hot chick won’t get mixed in every now and then? Of course not. If you go out enough, develop some social coordination/ability to converse, and don’t shy away from that closer mentality…. You’ll get lucky once in a while a snag a hottie for whatever reason. And no it’s not because your game is improving or was really on point. You just lucked out by being in the right place at the right time and happened to meet a chick that was high up on the downness scale.

 

How to tell if a Chick is Available or Not Available

 The way you figure out availability is by paying attention and screening the chick. Pay attention to what she is saying, who she is there with and what her general mood is. Simply put, you should be putting together a Cliff notes version of this chick in your head and always be paying attention to this question…

 “What is this chick’s deal?”

 That question is so important. That is what will keep your night efficient and prevent you from wasting time on chicks that you probably have no chance at banging. As an example here is a sample of what was going through my head during my first night out in Austin this past weekend. These are mental notes I make in my head that help me figure out immediately what this chick’s deal is. My goal was to get laid that night.

 First hot chick I hit on:

Pretty face; nice body with just the right amount of thickness

Out with family and friends celebrating brother coming home from Afghanistan

Tells me about how she loves spending time outside and on the lake

We talk about NY (where I came from) and she talks about wanting to go

I make a few naughty comments, she giggles and tells me I’m cute

 What’s this chick’s deal?

She’s a sweet girl that is out genuinely having a good time with her family and friends. She didn’t come out tonight trying to get sex. She’s pretty cool and I wouldn’t mind chilling with her. I could probably hit it if we hang out when it’s just us. But she’s not down tonight. She’s not available right now. I might want to hang out with her some other time so I grab her number and leave.

Hot chick that I bang later in the night:

Very attractive; amazing ass and legs

Out with friends having a girl’s night out

She’s a flight attendant and is leaving town tomorrow night.

She just broke up with her boyfriend.

I tell her she’s sexy and we make out.

I tell her all the naughty stuff I want to do and she gets her keys from her friend

What’s this chick’s deal?

She’s good to go.

I lucked out by finding a chick this hot and this down.

She’s got a naughty tramp stamp so this ain’t her first walk in the park.

I’m in for a treat and will definitely enjoy hittin her from the back.

She’ll probably let me bust in her mouth.

This type of mindset and this ability to sum up what a chick’s deal is comes with experience. More specifically, it comes from truly embracing Law 1… being good with people. This mindset also develops as you embrace the idea of having a game plan with a definite goal in mind. In this case, you want to actually get laid.

Since that’s the case then when you are out hitting on chicks, you want to find the chicks that will make this easiest for you. In other words, find chicks that already have a decent level of downness. But keep in mind, you should still have standards and also try to find a chick that is also high up on the looks scale. I guess the few exceptions would be if you’re still a virgin and just want to get on the scoreboard or if you just got out the pen. In those cases…. you do what you gotta do. Again, it’s all about screening.

 

How to Increase Your Chances of Availability

When you go out on any given night you have a certain percentage of chicks that are down that night. Don’t ask me what it is. Just know that the percentage of down chicks is far lower than the percentage of not down chicks. So what your goal really should be is and this is what I consider to be the highest level of success… when you meet a single, available chick you are able to get her. That’s success. People ask me… “Sonny, what’s your success rate when you hit up chicks?” I tell them I don’t know but if a chick is single and available… I’m sitting dead red. I’m really not going to miss and would bet money on me getting that chick.

The reason for this is because I have put so much effort into making myself better in so many areas over the years. This gives me so much confidence when I approach a chick. I have so much to offer. I bring a lot to the table. I really view myself as ELITE in every way. So my advice would be to really work on improving yourself in the aspects of life that I touched on in Law 4. Make sure you are bringing a lot to the table. When you do that, then you can really increase your chances of getting most single, available chicks you come across. And you might have a few seemingly unavailable chicks change their minds and decide to become available for a night.

 

Okay that was a lot to cover and I’m only half way done. Again, these laws have been carefully picked based off of what has given me success over the years. Observance of these laws are also responsible for my friends and family members that I would consider to be (have been) most successful when it comes to women. This article (both Part I and Part II) is very important to me and this site because it will be the foundation of all dating advice I will ever give. It’s my very own and it has come from years of experience. Most importantly, I am doing my best to keep it as simple as possible so that it can help the most dudes. It’s very disheartening to see so many guys on the Internet following advice that simply does not work or does not matter. A lot of advice on getting girls is poor to say the least and I am hoping to provide a different perspective that is based off of actual experience and clear insight. This website is about doing things the right way and this especially true for my style of teaching guys how to improve their dating lives. Other than that be on the lookout for Part II.

 

Sonny

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120 Comments

  1. Horny
    February 12, 2014 at 10:57 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny, since I can see that you put a lot of time and effort into writing this piece, I wanna take the time to tell you something positive that I got out of your first post on game.

    First of all, I found your blog through the forums and it was easy to relate to how you view Game because your advice is no-BS from real life experience. I can tell that your advice here comes from real experience because you tell stories and anecdotes about your personal life, and is to be taken seriously and this not just another generic internet marketing “10 tips for dating success” article written to make money.

    But I think where the biggest difference is is in the fact that you didn’t study “pick-up” – you got this shit handled as a “natural” from a young age, and unlike many naturals, you can write about your experience and thought processes during a pick-up in a way that helps me see how you think. That’s valuable because it helps me learn.

    Now, your description of #1 made me realize how I should spend more time in the company of (cool) people and less time in front of my computer (almost all day every day) in order to maximise my social competence through experience in all kinds of social situations and dynamics, and to learn how to get laid in social circles which I’ve yet to accomplish despite 7 cold-approach lays.

    I lived ages 13-25 without any friends whatsoever other than my family, so as a grown man, it was a challenge to form friendships (real friendships with a solid connection), to learn how to give positive incentive so people want to be around me and invite me places, to be able to relate to people and to hold a normal/interesting conversation but I’m working on it daily and I’m thankful for sites like yours that can help me form relationships better and to GET LAID, of course.

    I’ll be on the lookout for Part II but thanks for this one, Sonny. It was a STRONG start if there ever was one 🙂

    • February 12, 2014 at 11:27 pm — Reply

      Thank you for taking the time to write that reply. I really appreciate it. Yes, Law #1 is so important. Not just for getting chicks but for quality of life as well.

      I’m glad it helped you out and I’m glad that you found that what is going on in my head during a pick-up attempt to be helpful as well.

      This (Part I) and Part II are so important to me and to this site. Any advice I will give in the future will be based on these 10 Laws. They are the key to success with women.

      Thank You again,
      Sonny

  2. February 12, 2014 at 7:32 pm — Reply

    Excellent! man, keep up putting quality content like this, I am very impressed…

    • February 12, 2014 at 11:32 pm — Reply

      Thanks bro. Yea I really feel that because of my experiences and the way I look at things, I can really help guys out truly get this part of their life handled.

      Thanks,
      Sonny

  3. k-playboy
    February 16, 2014 at 1:33 pm — Reply

    wow
    i am sold
    this article is fucking quality
    i would love to see more stuff on masculinity and self development
    thanks sonny

    • February 17, 2014 at 3:02 am — Reply

      Thanks dude. I definitely want to focus on those 2 areas because I truly believe that working on those 2 things will give you the best of getting what you want.

      – Sonny

  4. Cam..
    February 17, 2014 at 2:23 am — Reply

    Good post Sonny!

    Lol @people that think looks dont matter.

    When girls say, “aww shit, that guy is cute af!” Doesn’t that register in their heads. Like, its pretty obvious when u dress well you are more attractive to girls (&everyone wants to be round you)

    Fitting clothes, accessories, tatts, hygine, all make that much of a difference. I myself have seen a lot of girls turn down the baller with the mercedez benz and fuk the guy with the most swag. So yea.. Sometimes looks will trump $$..

    Looking forward to part 2

    • February 17, 2014 at 3:10 am — Reply

      Yup that’s the difference between pick-up fantasy vs. reality….

      That’s why I also laugh when I see people (anonymous keep in mind) on pick-up forums write…. “A lot of women are actually turned off by muscles.” and other stupid shit.

      There’s still a lot of confusion because I think dudes still think it’s easier to get women by “mastering game” versus just working on yourself to become better in all these areas of life. .. which just isn’t true.

      • Cam..
        February 17, 2014 at 3:45 am — Reply

        Lol, Women turned off by muscles… I’d say from my experience after going from bout 150 to 190lbs.. Some girls just say that as an excuse because theyre not on your level..

        Then they see u at a party rocking some fresh clothes and having fun, They change their fikle minds..

        Who cares what they say.. Just do you.

        • February 17, 2014 at 12:33 pm — Reply

          Yea. When it comes down to it, a chick will show what she really wants when you interact with her face to face.

  5. […] dude posted in one of the forums one of the best articles I have read in a long time, here is the article. it was a good article, but the dude came across a bit cocky, and turn off a lot of the seducers. […]

  6. Spencer
    February 17, 2014 at 6:20 am — Reply

    Sonny,

    Found your site through a one of your replies. Just read this whole page.. pretty impressive stuff.

    Im more similar to you, i believe i am a natural when speaking with women… and especially people in general. but i always come across as that nice talkative and well spoke gentlemen.. AKA just a cool nice guy. Im currently in the process of converting that “nice cool guy” to “sexy piece of man candy”. lmao.

    but seriously. just got a second number and i have a date scheduled with her for tomorrow night at 8:00pm. gonna be a bit aggressive and very flirty and see what happens. Just started my game a few days ago so it should be interesting to say the least… first date of mine for over a year. lmfao. like i said.. just starting myself on my own program here. ill probably just do 100 approaches and see how it goes statistically.

    Spencer Brown

    • February 17, 2014 at 12:39 pm — Reply

      Yea man you should have no problem. If you got Law #1 that’s such an advantage. All you gotta do is keep working on your looks and over time that aggressive closer mentality will also develop

  7. February 17, 2014 at 10:50 am — Reply

    Sonny – I’m blown away. This is the best post on “getting laid” that I’ve come across in the past year or more. Spot on, simply. Sharing this on all platforms, including the “Get Laid” section of my own website. Looking forward to see more from you!

    • February 17, 2014 at 12:41 pm — Reply

      Thanks Thomas. I appreciate it. And thanks for the follow on Twitter.
      You got a lot of great advice on your site!

      – Sonny

  8. February 17, 2014 at 1:01 pm — Reply

    […] RECOMMENDED ARTICLE ON http://WWW.STRENGHTBYSONNY.COM […]

  9. February 17, 2014 at 2:43 pm — Reply

    Over 10,000 words of stellar, genuine, real advice. Thanks for posting this, Sonny. I wish every guy my age could read this article. If I had to choose, my favorite part is when you described the difference between guys half a century ago and today, that hit me hard. I’m doing everything I can this year to make sure I grow up to be the typical 30 year old from the 21st century. The rest of the article is gold too, can’t wait for the next part/s.

    • February 18, 2014 at 12:27 am — Reply

      Thanks dude. Glad it helped!

  10. February 17, 2014 at 8:18 pm — Reply

    Damn, this is an in-depth article. Good to see some of the principles (laws) that people may or may not inherently know condensed in one article – it helps put all the pieces of the puzzle together. I can’t wait for part II.

    • February 18, 2014 at 12:28 am — Reply

      Thanks bro! Yea Part II is in the works.

  11. anon1
    February 17, 2014 at 9:56 pm — Reply

    found by courtesy of boytoy. great article man! looking forward to part two

    • February 18, 2014 at 12:29 am — Reply

      Thanks ANON1. Glad you liked it!

      • ANON1
        March 3, 2015 at 2:36 am — Reply

        Just revisited the site [a year later], this time via a link from oskaar at skinnyfattransformation.

        Your site looks absolutely amazing man, and you seem to have branched out and are succeeding innumerable ways 🙂

        I started a site, got back into fitness in a big way and am working on my businesses. i want 2015 to be my year too 🙂

        • March 5, 2015 at 5:17 am — Reply

          Glad to have you back! Good choice coming back to the winner’s circle…

  12. February 17, 2014 at 10:02 pm — Reply

    Sonny,

    Great article man, found you via boytoystory.com you’re article is a winner but you know that. I am very interested in part 2.

    Everest

    • February 18, 2014 at 12:29 am — Reply

      All you guys are giving me a lot of motivation to really hammer it home on Part II.

  13. Bond007
    February 18, 2014 at 12:06 pm — Reply

    A+ post man! Simple, clear and right to the point.
    I used to be a fan of the PU community but little by little as I grew up I’ve realised that there is a lot of bullshit and marketing behind all that shit, and I’ve discovered that the point is not faking good social abilities but becoming them real. Congratulations! you’ve written a great post with good advices and full of truths.

    P.S. I like the others post too so keep working and rewards will come.

    • Bond007
      February 18, 2014 at 2:53 pm — Reply

      Other posts*

    • February 19, 2014 at 12:22 am — Reply

      Thanks man. Yup you nailed it. I do believe that there is some benefit to having some exposure to the PUA Community. It serves as a good introduction to red pilled culture. Approaching girls teaches you to literally go after what you want, which can be applied to your overall goals in life. Those are the main ones.

      Other than that the PUA community is very flawed and you pointed out a big reason that sort of ties into Law 4. For some reason, dudes get brainwashed by the marketing that becoming a master at game will solve everything. It won’t. No amount of game will make up for an inferior or weak product. No amount of pick-up knowledge can compensate for a dude’s lack of coolness or normal social skills. It wont happen. It doesn’t happen. Yes, there are guys that eventually become very skilled at beating logistics and strengthening that closer mentality…. they can get one night stands. But what then? Can they keep the girl? In most cases, they can’t because when you take away the bullshit they are still lacking that necessary foundation. It’s beyond me when I see dudes boast about ridiculously high lay counts and yet they’re still going out to nightclubs multiple times a week to try and pull new chicks. The reason is they have to go out multiple times a week…. shit I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll save the rest for Part II.

  14. Replicant
    February 19, 2014 at 4:30 am — Reply

    Solid advice! Found you via boytoystory.com too. All of you guys are pretty clear in what works and what not. I’ve can testify in that because I made some improvement following your stuff, particullary looks and financial status 🙂 And it’s not because YOU said, it FEELS natural, it’s natural that girls are attracted to good looking guys, with great personalities, masculine character, with his shit done and this is a numbers game.

    But your first law, being good at “mastering” people, I think is FAR the hardest to implement. As you can guess, most of us came from the shy and nerdy background and I think we all have a mentality of fix our shit by ourselves, like a lone wolf, without relating to others. And everyone of us at some moment of our lives have seen that popular and charming guy, surrounded by girls and cool guys, with a look of anger.

    Little by little I made some improvements in that law. I talk with everyone at my job although that environment doesn’t help me much (I’m a software engineer, lol), try to “lead” social meetings but without annoy people, trying to be as assertive as possible, etc. As I said is something hard for someone not used to, I screwed it some times, but is nothing that I can’t handle and most important LEARN for that.

    Best wishes for your project on this blog and I already added you to my RSS reader on my phone, so I can read your posts in some empty spaces in my everyday OUTSIDE my apartment instead inside of it at night. I promised myself that if I am in my apartment I MUST be:

    – sleeping
    – hosting a social meeting/party
    – alone with a girl
    – cooking my meals for the week
    – cleaning it
    – or planning my next week

    Looking forward to part II

    • February 20, 2014 at 12:21 am — Reply

      Absolutely, Law 1 is very difficult to do because how you relate to people is largely related to how you were conditioned growing up. It’s Law 1 for a reason.
      No one can survive in this world as a lone wolf and truly be happy. We need to be in the company of other people.

      I think a lot of guys can relate to anger/resentment towards the guys that just got it. That attitude is very much present in the PUA community where anytime a dude gets chicks because of looks, money, or social circle it is looked down upon.

      Those are some solid guidelines to have as far as spending time in your apartment.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      – Sonny

  15. PD
    February 19, 2014 at 12:11 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    Killer post, man. Also found you from Boytoy. Excited to see where this blog will go! I’ll be recommending you to others I know.

    Cheers,
    PD

    • February 20, 2014 at 12:14 am — Reply

      Thanks for stopping by PD! Glad you liked the post.

      – Sonny

  16. L
    February 20, 2014 at 3:14 am — Reply

    Hey man good article

    IMO I think there’s nothing wrong with making getting laid your #1 priority for a CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME. Fuck that’s what college is about for most ppl, some just miss the boat.

    Just get that shit handled, prove to yourself that on any given night or even day you can get laid if you just hit on enough girls. That’s such an empowering feeling that most guys don’t have. I’m not discrediting working on your looks since that’s what’s going to get you in the door anyways, but just work on getting laid.

    Me and my friends were even thinking of moving to vegas for 6months to a year to just party and get laid. That’ll probably one of the best years of our lives. I feel like once you’ve banged enough girls gotten your validation and you just see getting girls/sex as no big deal, You can really start to put this shit behind you and relax and not be pressured by it anymore. You can focus on other things in your life besides girls.

    Until you reach that point it’s always going to feel like there’s a monkey on your shoulder. Just get that shit handled and put it behind you

    • February 20, 2014 at 3:24 am — Reply

      Good point. Dudes should absolutely go through phases where they are in cooze hound mode haha. I still think there’s a fine line and it’s best to do that with friends/other like minded individuals who are also in that stage of life.

      I talk about this in Part II. Vegas is insane. I spent a decent amount of time there last summer. 6 months to a year would be rough.
      Vegas absolutely wears you out. If anything move there for a Spring/Summer (when the pool parties are in full swing). That’s Vegas livin’.
      Other than that it gets old/is kind of shitty in the Winter… not much to do other than go to clubs. There’s no sports teams there either.

      • February 20, 2014 at 1:14 pm — Reply

        Sonny, you nailed it, brother.

        The way to pick up girls is to have your shit together. That is pretty much it.

        One needs:

        Confidence
        A good body (looks)
        Status

        These three go hand-in-hand. It’s amazing how saturated the internet is on “tips and tricks” on how to pick up women. Shit, I don’t need to run “sets” and “peacock” and dress like a weirdo to bang a hottie.

        All is needed is to get your mind and body right and say “Hi”; you win some, you lose some, but you’re never going to make it if you don’t take a shot.

        Talk to you soon, brother.

        Excellent article

        • February 21, 2014 at 5:51 am — Reply

          Thanks bro. That’s absolutely right you’re never going to make it if you never take the shot. I’ve had so many successes (and rejections) approaching chicks… I really don’t remember the rejections. I don’t.

          But those “what ifs?”…. If I think about them, I can always remember them in detail.

  17. Anon
    February 20, 2014 at 4:14 pm — Reply

    Great post!
    I have been working on my looks recently, and found your site via boy toy.
    I was wondering if you have any specific advice to young guys (15/16) on how to improve with girls/general social situations. Do you recommend cold approach at 15?

    • February 21, 2014 at 5:46 am — Reply

      Yes I have some advice for you. See this is one of the reasons why I think PUA shit is bad (I talk about it in Part II). Make no mistake… at 15-16 you are a very impressionable kid. And if you grew up without a strong masculine influence/did not look to your father in this way…. that is even more so the case. For that reason, it’s downright dangerous how accessible information is. Also the Internet has made it possible so that anyone can have a voice. The problem with this is not everyone deserves a voice. This is definitely the case with PUA shit… How many people do you see writing on forums, posting video blogs, or even downright running programs that really have no business giving advice since they are not experts themselves? It’s very common. However, many people continue to listen to them and give in to the almost cult like following.

      My specific advice to young guys is simple. Stay away from PUA material and the traditional things they say. At 15, your top priority should not be to do pick-up. Your top priority should be to make cool friends and become cooler/more confident. At 15, you’re just starting off high school. You don’t get laid in high school by being a lone wolf who goes out during the day cold approaching chicks in the hallways or mall. That’s how you become known as the creepy kid who doesn’t have any friends and creeps girls out. In high school/college, if you get that label freshman year, it will stick with you all 4 years.

      So no I would not recommend cold approach at 15. Maybe do one once in a while… but that’s about it. You need to become associated with “the cool kids.” Everything in life is about who you know and this is definitely the case with women. I tagged a lot of chicks in high school. I never did cold approach in high school. Everything was about social status and popularity… being a part of the in crowd. I was a part of the in crowd because I was a 3 sports athlete… baseball, track, and football. Now I wasn’t no John Tucker (like the movie) but I had a lot of friends in a lot of different social circles. Athletes, preppy kids, potheads, even nerds.

      You need to become friends with the right people and recognizing them is largely dependent on how well you grasp Law 1. You absolutely need to develop the social savviness to be able to look at someone and know what their deal is. Not just women but guys too… you need to be able to just take in the scene and recognize who’s who. Who runs shit vs who eats shit…. become associated with the guys that run shit.

      this will make a lot more sense in Part II

      • February 25, 2014 at 4:50 pm — Reply

        -Anon

        Well I’m no Sonny, lol but man you got bigger things to worry about then. Just work on being a good guy and doing great things for yourself. Pretty soon, they’ll be trying to figure out how to start conversations with you, lol. And don’t be afraid to be her friend, like the man sonny said, ” It all starts with a foundation”. Its not really a big deal, especially at your age. Try not putting all your attention on one chick unless you guys are really making a connection.

      • Anon
        March 8, 2014 at 9:33 pm — Reply

        Thanks for the advice I appreciate it!
        As far as law 1 which I agree is what I need to work on, how would I go about improving my social skills?
        I am currently not really part of the in crowd at school (I do get on well with the athletes that play my sport hough) I change school in the summer so I feel this is the perfect time for me to get started on becoming cooler. Do you agree with this advice and is there anything you would add on how to not to act in social circle enviroments?

        “Not bringing lower / unwelcome energy. I talked about the concept of bringing the energy in one of the earliest posts on this site. For people to accept you socially, you must be bringing in better energy than what they’ve already got going on. That can be higher energy – you can be more energetic, more upbeat, more positive – it can also be lower energy of another value-giving variety. e.g., the guy exuding calm, cool sexiness; or the guy exuding profound wisdom, insight, and sublime knowledge. Even at lower levels of “energeticness”, they’re still offering high social value, and thus likely to be welcomed in, instead of dropped like a burning, singing lump of coal.

        Not interrupting people in rapt conversation. If you see people having light, sparse conversation, it’s okay to jump in during a lull, especially if you’re bringing significantly more positive energy than what they’ve got right now. But when they’re engrossed in conversation? Nuh-uh. You’ll be breaking a mood they’re both (or all, if more than two are engrossed) really into, for… well, it better be DAMN good if you’re going to do it. Otherwise, wait.
        Not asking for over-investment. Little feels worse in social situations than being asked or cajoled into over-investing in someone or something. This can be something small – like someone you’re at odds with coming up and asking for a sip of your drink or for you to lend him a bit of money – or it could be something big – like asking a girl to wait for you, and then leaving her hanging for a while too long. Even if you’re the only one who sees it, they know they’ve been “fooled” into over-investing, and it feels bad – and they will throw you under the bus, much of the time, to correct the balance.

        Not putting people on the spot. It’s one thing to talk about personal things deep in one-on-one conversation. It’s another entirely to bring them up in front of a group. Sounds silly, I know, but I’ve seen people do this, and I’ve had them do it to me. This includes anything from saying to someone, “So I heard you like Dani,” right in front of Dani herself, or asking, “When’s the last time you got laid?” or even asking someone out in front of her friends. When you do this, you’re just begging for a taste of bus undercarriage.

        Not lurking / hovering. Want to look really awkward? Just lurk around people without actually talking to them. Rule to live by: if you’re outside a group, and they’re not including you or making room for you, keep moving. Girls are pros at this – you’ll see them hover near someone for a split second, then get out of there if they aren’t given a proper reception. You’ll want to do the same.

        Not taking hints. There are few things that so clearly differentiate someone who “gets it” from everybody else as an individual’s ability to take hints. If she’s feeling tired, or wants you to take the lead, or needs a little privacy, or really honestly needs to leave… picking up on this makes you look good, while not doing so makes you look… well, like an oaf. Train yourself up on reading women’s signals.”

        This is a long comment I hope you can understand what I am trying to ask;)
        I look forward to your response and wish you all the luck with your blog.

        • March 11, 2014 at 2:39 am — Reply

          That’s all pretty solid, especially the part about “not taking hints.” That’s huge. Gotta have self-awareness and recognize when someone is/is not enjoying talking with you.
          More on that in a later article.

  18. Lucas
    February 25, 2014 at 2:31 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny. I just came over from BoyToy’s site and I must say, at first I was skeptic but you really brought it with this one. I very rarely comment on articles so this gives a notion of how much I valued yours.
    With this piece I noticed how my life is structured, and even though I genuinely don’t like banging random chicks (I prefer another type of interaction), this was great.

    One problem I noticed right away is the lack of a strong father to me. My father lives in the shadow of my mother. He earns about a third of what she does. I lived a lot in isolation and still do. I can socialize pretty well though, but I can’t stand some people and their inferiority. I can’t stand being with dumb, directionless people. That’s something I’ll learn to deal with/work around.

    Anyhow, thanks for the article, it surely is a masterpiece. On to part 2.

    • February 25, 2014 at 3:29 am — Reply

      Thank you for your comment. I’m glad you found value in it. Yea unfortunately we have to work with what we got. I would by no means have resentment towards him because he is still your dad. That is definitely a toxic way to go through life, the best you can do is learn from him.

  19. February 25, 2014 at 4:35 pm — Reply

    -Sonny

    Basically, you could sum this one up with this undermined statement. Time management. Its not about what you do “anybody can walk up to a girl and do what you did” but how you do it. “You look at body language, actually listen, no gimmicks”. Great post man. I use to hang out with loser friends who should have a look at this, lol.

    • February 26, 2014 at 12:08 am — Reply

      Yea it really is a matter of how you do it… When dudes see me holla at a chick and see how into me she is they want to know what I say… I don’t say anything special it’s the overall package.

  20. AR
    March 1, 2014 at 8:07 pm — Reply

    Bro, this is one of the best posts I read in a long time. i am a seiours social hermit. I go out to the bars on weekends to practice PUA. My weekend days are spent in front of the laptop. I want to get out and about like you suggested in that masculinity section.

    What do you recommended I do? having a social circle would be nice.

    • March 3, 2014 at 4:06 am — Reply

      You gotta get out of the house and learn to love interacting with people. You have to see interacting with people as a gift you can partake in every day.
      Don’t take it for granted.

  21. Tim
    March 3, 2014 at 12:29 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny this is a really good article!

    I wonder if you have some advice for someone who’s perhaps not as genetically gifted on the masculine side. I’m tall and lanky but worse I have a babyface (and Asian) that even though I am in my late 20s it makes me look like I’m some 14-15-year old kid, with rather feminized facial structure and softer voice (think Asian pop idol kind of look).

    The thing is I certain don’t act like a feminine guy, I am confident and social around people, cool and have no problem flirting with girls in sexual ways. I attract Asian girls fairly easily but it is a lot harder with white girls, especially girls my age who are obviously more attracted to older-looking, more masculine guys. (Yes sometimes I feel as though I am trapped in another person’s body)

    I have started doing resistance training to gain muscles but it’s certainly going to take a while, if not years to offset my very skinny appearance (though I still feel like I will always look like a young boy due to my face). Meanwhile I wonder if you have any advice for someone in a situation like this?

    P.S. Another question for Part II: yes girls in social circles are a lot more receptive but many times it feels as though there are too much at stake (rumors, bad endings etc.) that both the girls (and even myself) end up being a lot more reserved with one another. Sometimes it seems that girls are more open to sleeping with guys they don’t know very well. Any advice on how to circumvent this?

    • March 4, 2014 at 12:03 am — Reply

      The best thing you can do is continue to lift heavy and eat right. Also putting some hood in your style might help… fitted yankee hats, earrings, maybe some tats… all those cool accessories like that can help a little bit.

      yes, you bring up a great point about social circles, there is always a risk. Working groups of friends definitely requires you to be good with people. You have to grease the wheels so to say and can’t be so obvious/aggressive within your close group.

      Your best bet is to again stick with the basics… knows vs. doesn’t know. It don’t matter…. A strong masculine attractive man is the golden standard.

      It’s always a competition. Your only chance at being the best option is to make sure you’re constantly working towards being the best you… if that makes sense.

  22. Foxtrot
    March 3, 2014 at 10:12 pm — Reply

    Very good article, will share.

    • March 3, 2014 at 11:50 pm — Reply

      Thanks bro.

  23. March 10, 2014 at 2:03 am — Reply

    Fantastic article. I have a bunch of people I know that do game based on online PUA bullshit and they come off as just so weird and creepy. The worst part is that if they sat down and considered their night, they would just chalk it up to not being good enough at game.

    It’s all about screening. As someone who has gone out a number of times in Philly and “gotten lucky” I know that it’s all about finding people who are available and striking while the iron is hot.

    I’ve had so many times where you can just get a feeling that if you wanted to you could bang this chick tonight.

    Anyway, well said.

    • March 11, 2014 at 2:26 am — Reply

      Yea that sounds like the result of online PUA shit… ending up all huddled together at a diner discussing theory on game vs. actually ending up with a chick back at their apartment.

      I love Philly…. got some hot ass guidette chicks especially at that one place Z Bar…. has a naughty time last time I was there.

  24. Bemore
    March 13, 2014 at 1:58 am — Reply

    There is a lot of quality in what you wrote. I’m actually surprised. Though, I used to go out only on Friday’s and where I live it would not be packed at all. I would approach 2 girls a night max if I was lucky and became solid good and became seriously efficient. It took 6 weeks of only going out on Friday nights and a total of 7 approaches and when I started going out on Saturdays I was hooking up with 1 of every 3 girls really easily on my 9th or so week I hooked up with a really hot girl. Because I am aware of myself quite a bit I know I have done it a great deal the pickup way which you bash quite a bit in your writing. Would you explain how there is a difference between your “available and not available” and simply just being efficient and effective unnaturally because it is fact that you won’t be compatible with many girls and I would argue a 1:3 ratio, and meeting the odd hot and down chick is as good as I would get. Strictly speaking, meeting new chicks – there is little difference yes ? I know how it could benefit me though, because the underlying fact of chasing chicks is a little annoying. The part where most make a mistake is letting pickup effect their social life and life direction, particularly making it their priority, changing the way they relate and interact with the world around them. Which is not an issue with myself. I appreciate the effort you put into the article I learned a lot and cannot wait to implement what I’ve learned immediately

    • March 13, 2014 at 10:59 pm — Reply

      I don’t know. I don’t know who you are what you look like what your vibe is how you interact with people… you’re an anonymous guy posting on the Internet. that’s why it’s really not possible to give someone pick-up advice on a forum or try to figure out why something works/doesn’t work for him. You can only make generalizations.

      That’s also a small case study… maybe you just ran into DTF chicks at the right place/right time. So to answer your question…. maybe you’re just getting lucky running into available chicks. Or maybe you’re just a naturally good screener of chicks where you just know the right ones to hit on.

      That’s pretty much what I do now…. Past few times I’ve gone out it has been very much “one and done” vs. spam approaching to get laid.

      As far as being compatible with many girls… I disagree. That’s what success is in this shit or if you want to think in game terms “top level”

      If a chick is single/available (in some cases you might not need this) and you’re an attractive masculine dude who vibes well with people in general… you’re pretty much sitting dead red and have a very good chance at getting laid a lot. That’s what you’re aiming for… no need to make it more complicated than that.

  25. Ro
    March 13, 2014 at 10:22 pm — Reply

    A very good post. But you don’t really address how to get good with people, which I feel lets the article down, or more so lets me down as I can never find good advice for my particular issue. For example, i’m a 23 year old guy who for the last few years has been terrible with people. I go to work every day and I attempt to make small talk sometimes but the rest of the time I stay quiet because it feels so fucking awkward. I have no friends in the area I live in. How do I get good with people? I can hardly roam the streets desperately looking for a person to talk to – the world doesn’t work like that. Others have their own life. You said you have been brought up to be good with people, so you have no clue really what it feels like to be me and to have to get good with people from the age of 23. I’d appreciate a response.

    • March 13, 2014 at 10:47 pm — Reply

      Thanks for the response. Check my newest article on How to Become a Social Person…

      http://strengthbysonny.com/become-a-social-person/

      It’s a topic that will take a lot of time and effort for me to address. That first article is a good start because it starts to scratch the surface (in a lot of guys’ situations at least).

      Also to your point about not knowing what it’s like to be in your shoes… yeah you’re right. And that’s why you should take the time to read my stuff over. Most guys think that the best teachers are the ones who have similar experiences to them and were able to build themselves up over time. Not really… the best teachers are the ones who were able to get success easily and take the time to go back and reflect on why this was. They know what works and never wasted time on shit that didn’t help them.

      You see this in the PUA community…. People don’t think “naturals” can help guys. This is wrong. A natural (especially one who is willing to put thought into why certain stuff works) will always be the best source to learn how to actually get chicks from.

  26. LBH
    March 24, 2014 at 5:39 am — Reply

    The part where you mention PUA’s spam approaching and not projecting an ounce of masculinity … i can really relate to.

    • March 25, 2014 at 1:25 am — Reply

      Yea that’s the problem when it comes those infield vids… guys try to emulate what they see. Problem is… what happens if the guys you are watching on video are just scammers who prey upon dudes who are desperate to improve their dating lives?…

      That’s great that you recognized your problem… overall lack of respect both men and women. You’ve come to the right place.
      I keep it simple. I help you become as strong and masculine as possible. Stay tuned!

  27. […] keep emphasizing that guys must learn how to become good with people. I first wrote about this in Part I of my Guide on Game. In fact, Law I specifically mentions, “Master people before you master women.” There’s a […]

  28. April 5, 2014 at 11:22 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    This is my first time finding your site and I have to honestly say – that was one of the best articles I have ever read. Every single line was 100% on point.

    I see the weakness every day. Guys during the day with no sense of style and wearing a ‘no confidence’ look head to toe. At night, I see guys awkwardly going up to women stumbling around wasted trying to buy them drinks. It’s a sad state nowadays, I hope this article can help some of these guys get it together.

    The way you articulate it all is top notch man – looking forward to more of your stuff.

    -Axel

    • April 7, 2014 at 12:36 am — Reply

      Thanks for the comment bro!

  29. April 14, 2014 at 7:17 am — Reply

    This article was my introduction to your site. Great piece.

    Your posts are very informative, well written and easy to read.

    On and off, for about four years now, I have spent much time reading game blogs and articles from all over the web and trying the concepts and strategies out in the real world. Only recently (Jan 2014) have I came across the manoshpere and the red pill concepts and ‘truths’.

    I find a lot of game blogs and sites pander to people who have little to no social collaboration, which is okay. Perhaps that’s the majority, but that’s not me.

    I remember you writing a couple things that I can relate to – high school parties and college parties, those were next to impossible NOT to get laid, blow job or at least a make out sesh or a number. For me this all happened before AND during the birth of Facebook, rise of social media, txting craze, etc. But now that I am in my late twenties I was smacked in the face when I came to realize that my shitty high school/college game wasn’t so good post-school-party-hard-years.

    If these younger guys would just realize that if you work on your fundamentals ex. working-out and other self-improvement, the benefits are the same, I would argue greater, than if you spend all day reading PUA tactics and fem-bashing on red pill blogs and never go outside and improve your life. Which is not to say that none of the game strategies work or that red pill concepts aren’t enlightening, but to be able to take yourself away from the computer and re-insert yourself back in the real world os essentail in self-development. -dcl

    • April 15, 2014 at 2:40 am — Reply

      Absolutely… in fact I wrote an article on how to become more social by unplugging from as much technology as possible

      • April 15, 2014 at 6:40 pm — Reply

        Thanks Sonny.
        I will read that article with pleasure. -dcl

  30. […] Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part I) […]

  31. Ryan
    May 15, 2014 at 8:56 am — Reply

    Great article brother, looking forward to some more wise words.

  32. […] just improving all the shit that matters. I talk about it all in my very first two dating articles, Part I and Part […]

  33. jACK
    May 31, 2014 at 6:02 pm — Reply

    Hy Sonny! Have to say that’s one of the best articles I’ve ever read in about five years of all seduction things.

    Best regards from Switzerland

    Jack

    • May 31, 2014 at 7:15 pm — Reply

      thanks for stopping by!

  34. XAvi
    May 31, 2014 at 6:06 pm — Reply

    Yo sonny im in high school and im an pretty popular dude and got a solid social circle. Im an minority and theres a guy that often times says something racist in my presence. Should i just beat the crap out of him? How do i stand up for myself?

    • May 31, 2014 at 7:15 pm — Reply

      If it was the 80s I’d say beat him up… But it’s 2014 unfortunately. Have a one on one talk with him and tell him you don’t like it. Also tell him that if he continues, there will be a problem. If you are firm and make good eye contact, he’ll get the point.

  35. […] else has a chance as long as they are focusing on what matters. Look at Law 4 for a […]

  36. […] 1) Bringing as much value to the table as possible (Law 4). […]

  37. bell hooks
    June 15, 2014 at 11:08 pm — Reply

    I stumbled onto this site by looking up something unrelated….I can’t believe what a sexist moron you are. I feel sorry for you in that you believe getting laid is somehow a worthy goal to spend THIS MUCH TIME ON. There’s so much wrong with you, I wouldn’t doubt there’s NOTHING I can say to enlighten your dull, dull intellect. (Void thereof, I mean) I am a woman. Let me explain something to you and all the other nerdy little 20-something kids like you, women will have sex when and with whom they want. There is no formula or equation. Also, your definition of “masculinity” is hilarious. Do you even realize you are a walking stereotype? Do something worthy with your life and stop this madness!

    • June 16, 2014 at 4:52 am — Reply

      Thanks for your comment. I think if you look at my site more you’ll realize that I truly do not think getting laid is a worthy goal to spend this much time on. There are a lot more important things for men to figure out. I do believe that every guy should do everything they can to improve their dating life if they are not happy with it. The worst thing would be for a guy to have a shitty dating life and do nothing about it (most guys’ general game plan).

      Social skills, lifting weights/eating healthy, learning how to become a competitor… those are all things that a guy should know for his own development and the betterment of himself.

      An added benefit is that this will help with the getting girls part.

      I agree that women will have sex when and with who they want… One of my goals is to help guys become that guy.
      The formula here is to have a positive attitude and work on becoming the best possible version of yourself. Ultimately, do everything you can to put the odds in your favor.

      I’m not going to argue with you on what masculinity is… My father raised me. I know what it is. Plus, you’re a chick.

      I’m not really a walking stereotype if we’re being honest here.

      You sound pissed off. That’s kind of hawt

  38. XAvi
    June 19, 2014 at 8:09 pm — Reply

    The story of your grandfather amazes me! I love to read his example. But what I question is how much people sleep with such a busy lifestyle? How many hours do you sleep?

    • June 19, 2014 at 8:23 pm — Reply

      I probably get 6-8 hours sleep. Sometimes less if I’m on a real tear writing something up. Keep in mind I’m not really going out doing the whole go to bars/clubs to get laid.

      I got one main chick now and chill with her. Also got a really good social circle that I can get chicks from whenever (hit most of them already) but the option is always there.

      All my time is spent on my regular job, working on this site, going to the gym, chilling with friends, chilling with chick… and then I fit in sleep somewhere along the way.

  39. […] My solution: Why don’t you actually become the prize? […]

  40. Neocrummer
    August 4, 2014 at 2:31 am — Reply

    Wow Sonny you are the modern Dale Carnegie! Never got into the whole pick up (other than “signs she likes me” type of stuff on google searches) but somehow found the redpill and from there found other places which lead me to SBS.

    • August 4, 2014 at 5:50 am — Reply

      Thanks man. Yea I will cover a lot of stuff on my site… I’m doing everything I can to build the community.

  41. […] | Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part I) | strengthbysonny.com […]

  42. Steve
    August 23, 2014 at 5:20 pm — Reply

    Hey Sonny I have a question for you so this may be a long post.

    Basically 19 year old University Student in England and I haven’t had sex, I understand the difference between advice from experience (your blog) and these pick up artist “experts” who say looks don’t matter – yeah right. 13 – 19 I grew up in a good family but I spent most of my time either jacking off to porn or playing video games, not masculine hobbies at all. Only good thing I did was enter the gym at 17 since I realised if I wanted to get hot girls I had to be hot. Now I am not jacked yet and it doesn’t look like I lift but I went from 5ft 11 126lbs to 6ft 1 190lbs . Anyway I feel this information is needed for the background.

    Quit porn and masturbation recently (recovering from ED from it, Fuck. (real women not stimulating to induce erection) and feel like a man again, increased confidence and decreased anxiety but the question I have is I don’t really “get” how to talk to women/girls. I will apply these 10 rules and understand its look good and talk to a lot of girls it seems but in school I would hardly talk to any girls , any attractive ones I would be timid/nice guy/ I hope she likes me if I am super funny and nice etc. which didn’t get me shit. Do I just say asap I think your attractive and try and flirt then get physical ? So no friend zoned? Of course I need to be physically attractive and be a social guy, so working on improving my looks and social skills before I go back to University this year, was invisible last year (English college doesn’t’ have frats and stuff but there is still a social scene etc., good logistics bar/club 5 mins from my dorm).

    It’s my fault my current situation so only I can help myself, but any advice on what to say to girls upon meeting if their attractive? Do I try it with all girls ? I think I could get laid from a nightclub if I actually talked to girls there which since quitting porn/masturbation pushes me to do. Was never really “taught” this stuff. Appreciate any feedback on my situation Sonny, awesome site and YouTube channel.

    • August 24, 2014 at 2:38 am — Reply

      No don’t want to go as direct in a school environment when there are usually social consequences.

      You can do it but there’s always the risk of being perceived as weird… that’s why it’s important to trust your own instinct and make these types of decisions for yourself.

      At your age you need to learn how to network with people in general. I know you wanna get chicks but you gotta do it by networking with everyone and becoming a part of some social circle.

      this is the mistake every kid makes (who has had exposure to PUA material). They only focus on women and neglect solid networking… they always end up being a loner (except when they interact with other PUA kids).

      I know because I see 30+ year old single dudes still going out doing the pick up thing…. they never got it and will spend the rest of their days doing that.

      The answer is/always has been getting solid friends and building off of that…. Even if it means putting the hitting on chicks thing on hold, you should do that.

      • Steve
        August 24, 2014 at 5:45 am — Reply

        Appreciate the reply and got it. Thanks

  43. Jake d
    August 27, 2014 at 12:10 pm — Reply

    I agree with a lot of this article, there definitely A lot of scammers in the pua commuinty. But I have really been debating whether I should take a Bootcamp with guys known as venture and sterling who run a program called simplified natural/project rockstar. They are associated With lovesystems but the shit they teach is vastly Different from the routine based indirect stuff the other lovesystems guys teach. The reviews Seem insane, the instructors Seem to have insanely High pull/ lay rates. Not. Sure if they are real or faked but I think it real because they have a program called project rockstar where students have to keep Daily journals, the instructors results are insane and the students are getting laid consistently by the end. The only Thing that makes me kind of suspicious is the instructors have no Infields and don’t show their faces besides one video here:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=TXSlEfj6gqE

    The faces are blurred But some small clips of girls in the students beds And a lot of makeout photos.

    Here are some of the journal’s

    http://www.theattractionforums.com/general-discussion/165433-project-rockstar-2013-journals.html

    http://www.theattractionforums.com/general-discussion/170727-project-rockstar-2014-daily-journals.html

    I don’t think these are faked unless they are forced To write up stuff to make the instructors look good. The all seem to get laid consistently most nights, students and instructors alike.

    They do make the students do a 12 week training program so they come In low bodyfat and jacked So that defintley plays a Factor in their results.

    Here is overview of what they teach:

    http://simplifiednatural.com

    Basically It seems to be direct game with a lot of fast escalation Teasing and sexual conversations.

    I am kind of on edge on whether I should do it or not because even with the refund, shelling out 10k for their 10 day bootcamp make me uncomfortable.

    Based on a quick assesment are theses guy just scam marketers or legit sources.

    Is it just the numbers game they are playing, is their something to game they teach because the results Seem pretty consistent.

    On forums they do admit looks matter, and apparently they are either jacked or goodlooking.

    I am just Unsure and don’t want to get scammed.

    • August 28, 2014 at 3:40 am — Reply

      If you do this program, you’re going to get scammed.

      There is no bootcamp on the market right now that actually works…. reason is that looks/style and shit while it is important. They are not everything.

      Everyone has their own story as to why they are not where they are at with women…. The biggest problem is conditioning or upbringing.

      How were you brought up? What is your life experience that has contributed to you being nervous around women or have social anxiety. Those are issues caused by your conditioning and uprbringing.

      You need to really dig deep to uncover those issues and figure out how to move past them.

      Unfortunately, none of those PUA fags are qualified to help students in that way because they themselves have deep seeded issues that were never addressed…

      But I am qualified…

  44. Jake d
    August 28, 2014 at 11:57 pm — Reply

    Yeah, I’m not Gonna do it, I figure 10k is better spent on other shit. For what you saw made you think it was a scam? I figure you probably seen some coaches in action Judging by what you wrote in the article you ever see any of the lovesystems Guys in action? Also you mentioned you worked with guys, do you do any Infield coaching?

    To answer you question, my upbringing was normal, I don’t have any anxiety issues and I’m not nervous around girls. My game sucks though, I only get lucky from time to time. I’m not socially retarded or anything, I can Hold a Conversation. I just suck flirting, saying anything interesting and I’m not very witty. Girls reject me alot,usually with the first couple minutes.

    • August 29, 2014 at 6:19 am — Reply

      I’ve seen all the coaches out… they all suck. They spam approach the club and a few of them are mentally unstable and pretty much asperger the club up.

      I would do infield coaching if I had the time because I could probably tell you what your problem was after five minutes of just talking to you.

      Nope never seen any of the lovesystems guys in action

      Also depends on your environment… if you’re in high school/college yea you’re gonna get a lot of rejections approaching bitches because it’s a social game then… there are social consequences for chicks depending on who they talk to/date and they know this.

      • Jake d
        August 29, 2014 at 9:47 am — Reply

        delete

        • August 30, 2014 at 3:58 am — Reply

          Too bad the PUA industry has yet to have such an individual throw his hat into the ring… Perhaps I’ll change that soon

          Yes. I will eventually do infield vids.

        • August 30, 2014 at 4:01 am — Reply

          yea man. Got tons of sad stories of kids having their lives ruined by pua teachings… One that comes to mind is a kid I know.

          Over a year ago, he kept trying to plow on a chick who’s bf was right there (this was at Marquee in Vegas).

          Well that dude broke his jaw… kid just had his final jaw surgery and his faced is fucked up for life.

  45. August 29, 2014 at 10:09 pm — Reply

    comment travailler a la maison

    Sonny’s Guide on Game: The 10 Laws on How to Get Girls (Part I) • Strength By Sonny

  46. Jake d
    August 30, 2014 at 6:17 am — Reply

    Wow, thats Fucking shocking!!!

    • August 31, 2014 at 2:27 am — Reply

      What you say absolutely matters… it’s called knowing how to communicate.

      The one thing women are always looking at is how well a dude communicates/expresses himself. Physically is important yes, but you cannot neglect the words that come out of your mouth… that’s common sense.

      Every natural (include myself) that I know/have witnessed have two things in common confidence and “a way with words”.

  47. September 11, 2014 at 2:38 am — Reply

    Solid post Sonny. Definitely agree with this “Anybody who has ever seen me approach chicks (especially in bars and nightclubs) cannot believe that I immediately eject from set if I approach a chick and she does not seem down. It boggles their mind because they have consumed so much information that teaches them to plow through the interaction and blow the set out. ” You can tell within the first 5 seconds if the chick is into it, no amount of game will fix a girl who is not into it or not available.

    Good to see you calling out these pickup artist bootcamps. To Jake, don’t take a pickup bootcamp, none of them are worth it, plus club game is the worst place to pickup women, I don’t know why these guys still keep hammering at it. If you’re good to decent looking you can easily go 1/15 or 1/2o with day game with just confidence, making her comfortable and closing. Get on tinder and spam the fuck out of it. Or combine that with social circle game, as long as you’re above the middle of your social tree, especially if you’re in university, and you guys can network a little bit thats a fucking gold mine. You don’t need a bunch of jackasses teaching you bad habits, game is just a means to an end, not the end, being good at game only matters to nerds on the internet. Plus nightclubs are degenerate, even when you do grab some drunk slut its drunk sloppy sex at 3 in the morning, taking a bleary eyed cab ride home and fucking up your whole schedule for the next day.

    • September 11, 2014 at 3:46 am — Reply

      “being good at game only matters to nerds”

      Exactly. I laugh when PUA guys downplay how I got chicks in college… “Oh well you didn’t meet her off of a cold approach pickup”

      Only thing that matters in the end is you’re getting the chicks you want in your life… seems a lot better than cold approaching chicks at the club begging for scraps.

      PUA guys don’t understand the importance of actual general social skills… as explained in Law 1.

  48. RA
    September 30, 2014 at 8:16 pm — Reply

    Hello, I was google searching and came across this article. Glad I did because I really enjoyed reading that because your advice actually comes across as genuine compared to the generic “10 ways to get laid” stuff that you find all over the internet.

    I figured this is as good a place to share my story as there can be. So I was raised in a religious family that always protected me from being “out there”. It has had its upsides and downsides. The good part is I’ve grown up to be a respectable, friendly guy as well as educated with good grades. I’m going to start college next year but that’s beside the point. The downside to all of this is being protected also robbed me of the experience to be social. I’ve turned out pretty introverted and quiet with little to no experience of the nightlife. Therefore, I’m a little bit behind when it comes to that side of life and I feel I am missing out big time.

    Plainly put, I am 20 and still a virgin. I still blame myself for this because I am not missing the main factors other than having an independent status. I am good looking and been told so, I have a certain charm and many times girls have been drawn to me at school in the past although I’ve reacted awkwardly a lot of times and if being “cool” was decided upon music taste, then I’d be at the forefront (hip-hop head and I’ve only got complemented on it). It took me a bit longer to mature but I think I’m there now and it’s a matter of making myself seen. I’ve also started taking some steps forward. Most importantly, I started hitting the gym earlier this year and have been making constant progress. I was pretty skinny but now I have some definition and soon I should get those abs as well! I feel much better about myself and more confident. My only regret is I didn’t start working out earlier but no point dwelling in the past.

    This article has given me some good advice that I will keep in mind if/when I find myself in such a situation. Here’s hoping I turn things around and live that good life of a young healthy man in 4-5 years time. 🙂

    • October 1, 2014 at 2:09 am — Reply

      Thanks for your comment.

      I would say to “speed things up” you definitely want to associate yourself with cools kids that are well connected in the party scene.

      I saw this happen plenty of times where a socially awkward kid lucked out in college by simply living near some cool kids and getting to hang out with them all the time.

  49. qgla
    October 4, 2014 at 10:09 am — Reply

    Great stuff man! Please put hyperlinks to next part at the end of each text next time!

  50. […] you want to become excellent with women, you can read all about how to become an Alpha […]

  51. LP
    December 4, 2014 at 5:49 am — Reply

    Hey Sonny,

    When are you going to make infield videos showing some screening e.t.c ??

    • December 4, 2014 at 6:50 pm — Reply

      I’ve got a bunch of infields saved up. Just have to consult with my attorney on what I can/cannot show. Also have to edit them (blur out faces/names).

      • LP
        December 10, 2014 at 6:57 pm — Reply

        ok nice. cant wait to see what screening look like

        • December 12, 2014 at 4:28 am — Reply

          Yea. It’ll be a lot different than other people’s vids… more conversation based.

  52. […] seen my videos. You know my story. You know my vibe. You know who I […]

  53. […] I guess you could say I have gotten it since day one. I have always been a part of the “in crowd”. Elementary school… Middle school… High School… College/Business school… and beyond. I’m not a rags to riches story by any means. I’ve always had a knack at being associated with the right people and developing a solid social circle. I live by Law 1. […]

  54. […] for. Becoming rich or at least financially independent. Being athletic and/or ripped. A better dating and social […]

  55. February 27, 2015 at 3:39 am — Reply

    […] really want. In fact, I know what most readers within this realm really want deep down. You want to learn how to get girls. You want to learn how to improve your body. You want to learn how to become […]

  56. Connor
    March 6, 2015 at 12:40 am — Reply

    Wow bro, I cant even put into words how life changing this write up was for me. I grew up pretty similar to you and a lot of the ideals you talked about in part one were drilled in to me growing up. A couple years back when I was 16 I had some loss in the family and moved from san diego to new york. With the combination of those things and some other shit, life knocked me on my fucking ass. I felt sorry for myself , wasnt getting any girls, lost all confidence, didnt go out, was overall just digging a huge hole for myself. Over the last year I recognized how that shit effected me negativly. I decided to make a change , and the only way to do that was to better myself, plain and simple. Your write up is gonna help me not only get laid a hell of a lot more , but help me grow substantialy as a man. Thank you man, thank you

    • March 6, 2015 at 5:28 pm — Reply

      That’s great to hear bro! Thank you!

  57. March 23, 2015 at 6:54 pm — Reply

    […] is an important discussion boys. It will be my most detailed one to date… far more detailed than Part I and Part II of the Sonny’s Guide to Game […]

  58. May 11, 2015 at 8:58 pm — Reply

    […] X could be a better dating life. […]

  59. Redeoran
    July 25, 2015 at 9:36 pm — Reply

    Looks really dont matter as much as you may think. Sonny im pretty sure as someone who go’s to clubs often you see ulgy and average guys that kill it with women, you probably even know or go out with guys like this. Women are more emotional than visual. Sure. Sure they might help a little but mean nothing without game.

    For example this guy is absolutely. Destroying it with chicks and he is only 5’5 and a below average lookin ginger.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=419&v=mkfGaiGw5IU

    Those aint ugly chicks either, you can tell even with blur he is pulling some decent looking ass. Same goes for guys like Tyler from RSD. I know you bash them but they are living proof that stuff this works.

    • July 25, 2015 at 9:40 pm — Reply

      Let me ask you this…. Hypothetically, if I were to make a post on how to tell if infield footage is fake (common tactics) scammers use. Would that be something you might be interested in?

      • Redeoran
        July 25, 2015 at 10:01 pm — Reply

        Yeah sure,by all means.

        Not sure why you thinks fake though. He even has bootcamp students in the vid, so there is no way for him to fake it if he is put on the spot. You have no idea because your not there with him. Plenty of student witness. Instructors pull and get laid, they have to demo it. The only way i could see it being faked is if the girls were planted infield before hand.

        But if you do put up an article it would defintley read though.

        • July 27, 2015 at 7:34 pm — Reply

          Ok sounds good. Stuff for me to consider.

  60. Ace
    July 27, 2015 at 8:37 pm — Reply

    Ive been wondeing this myself, I see all these, infields of some ugly motherfuckers getting pussy like the one posted above and wonder if they are real or not. the interactions seem genuine. same shit with RSD guys, if there is any proof that game is real it them.That valentino guy is even shorter than tyler and is still Taggin ass. Granted its a compilation vid so its eidted to favor him but even still, the vid show him getting girls even taller than him and out of his league and even pulling the girls home. I looked him up, he is out of sweden no less, where almost every girl is banging and the competiton is even harder because alot of the dude the are goodlookin aswell. The mans got some serious game if it real.

    • July 29, 2015 at 9:08 pm — Reply

      Lol not one ounce of genuine proof of “tagging ass” just highly edited vids showing high points…. that’s how most gurus/companies do it

      Just have faith that I’ll eventually explain it all in detail (without mentioning names of course)

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